7 Baby-Naming Lessons From a Mom of Four

One of the first thoughts I always have after finding out I’m pregnant is, “I get to name a baby!” Because I love names and the idea of getting to name a tiny little human. When I was little, I would write out the names of my future kids in church because I loved the idea of choosing a baby name so much (true story). 

Of course, I also stress over all the pressure of deciding on the perfect name. How is one supposed to pick the perfect baby name when there are so many options and things to consider? It can consume a person because, as amazing and fun as it is, a name is so final! So permanent. And it sets the tone for that little person from day one. After naming four boys, these are the things I’ve found worth thinking about.

1. Traditional or Unusual Names?

When picking a baby name, an important question is, “Do we like traditional or non-traditional names?” This is important to consider for your first child because it can also set the tone for your future children’s names. Once you choose a traditional or unusual name, you may feel drawn to that style for future children. But a William and a Maverick can belong in the same family, too.

Given that I’m a Quin, I’m always interested in unusual names. Sociologist Dalton Conley has written that he chose unusual names for his children partly because he believed they could help with impulse control.¹ That was his reasoning, not proof that choosing an unusual name will improve a child’s self-control.

Research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that people with easier-to-pronounce names were generally judged more positively.² That finding concerns other people’s impressions; it doesn’t mean a simpler name makes someone more capable or successful.

2. Why I Chose a Popular Name

There’s always a new name trend. And strangely, it seems so much harder to escape than you think. I cannot tell you how often friends have told me, “I had never heard anyone with the name (Insert trendy name) until we named her, then I heard it everywhere.“ To see how popular a name has been, check the Social Security Administration’s baby-name rankings over the past five years. If your favorite ranks highly, ask yourself, “Do we care if there are many children with this name? Or do we care more about loving the name?“

I found that even when trying to go out of my way to find a name others don’t have, a year or so after using a name, it begins to rise in popularity, regardless. Therefore, with my fourth son, I went with a name I knew was popular just because I loved it!

3. Why Meanings Matter to Me

I’m slightly obsessed with meaning. If you have two baby names you love but can’t decide on, I think a great way to have a tiebreaker is to look up their meanings. For me, the meaning adds another reason to love a name. One of my sons’ names means “strong as a wild boar.” But I went with it! And boy, is he strong now. I like to joke that he’s living up to the meaning.

4. Nickname or No?

I am obsessed with nicknames, so one of my prerequisites is finding a baby name with a nickname I love. But that’s also important to consider if you don’t like nicknames. What nicknames does the name you’re choosing naturally invite? You love Harrison, but you hate the name Harry? That may not be a good choice for you. If you love the name Stephanie but worry someone might call her “Step on Me” (a little Full House reference), it might not be the name for you. Or vice versa, if there are two names you equally like, and one has an adorable nickname, too, that might be the way to go!

5. Finding Names That Sound Good Together

Some families choose a middle name to honor a grandfather or grandmother. Do you have a first name you love but no middle name yet? Or vice versa? It’s fun to consider names that you like together.

My husband and I chose to have all one-syllable names for our children’s middle names. I enjoyed having a theme! The one-syllable middle names worked well because all our boys have longer first names.

Also, it’s important to consider how the name sounds with your last name. You may love the name Ally until you put it with your last name Gator. Then maybe you realize Ally Gator isn’t what you want to name your little princess.

6. Consider the Spelling

You can change the spelling if you have a traditional name you love but want to add a little fun to it. This is an easy way to give your child the name you love and add a little flair to a more common name. Ashley becomes Ashleigh or Ashlee. Mark becomes Marc. Keep in mind that a less familiar spelling may mean your child has to spell their name for others more often.

7. Don’t Overthink It

If this article has only caused more stress, let me give you some good news. You don’t have to feel an instant connection to the name; it can grow more familiar as you get to know your baby. I have heard very few mothers say they regret the name they chose, even if they stressed over it for months. So have fun and get creative!

Still making your list? Browse our baby names hub for ideas. For a practical checklist, read How To Choose a Baby Name: 12 Things To Consider.