How to Encourage the Bond Between Dad and Baby During Pregnancy

Cropped shot of an unrecognizable man and his wife touching her pregnant belly.

How to Encourage the Bond Between Dad and Baby During Pregnancy

We talk a lot about the bond and attachment between mom and baby and how important that is for baby and mom’s mental health and social and emotional growth. But what about the bond between dad and baby? Research is showing that it is just as important, and in many ways even makes a greater impact on baby’s development and dad’s engagement later on.

The Importance of a Daddy/Baby Bond

Pregnancy is viewed as the transition period into fatherhood. A recent research study suggests that a father’s relationship and commitment to his unborn child and partner during this critical transition into fatherhood can have a significant impact and set daddy on a trajectory of more involvement with his child for years to come. This study has also found that daddies who are involved during pregnancy tend to have higher employment and take greater responsibility for the baby as the child grows up. This is especially true of low-income dads.

It is really important to know that daddy’s interaction with the baby has amazing benefits later on with social and emotional growth and even academic skills. We now know that a baby’s early social interactions is a strong predictor of future language and academic skills. Some studies show that daddy’s interaction with baby is an even stronger predictor of these things than mommy’s interactions. The more daddy interacts with babies, the higher they score on language, literacy and academic assessments in pre-school and elementary school! Some mommies believe that that is because daddies tend to give 100% of their attention to the baby when they are playing with the baby, whereas mommies tend to multitask at the same time. Whatever the reason, the research is amazing and a great reason to keep daddy involved as much as possible in the early care and interactions with the baby.

How Soon Can Dad’s Start Bonding?

So, we know that it is important for daddy to be present and vested during pregnancy. But how soon can the bond between dad and baby begin? We do know that babies are able to hear in utero. Actually, they are able to perceive sounds very early; before their ears are even formed. The inner ear begins to form around 18 weeks gestation and babies often show signs of being able to hear sound in the utero before their outer ears form. The uterus is a loud place. There’s the swishing of the amniotic fluid, the repetitive sound of baby’s and mommy’s heartbeat and even mommy’s voice resonating through the uterus. Babies are perceiving all of this sound and listening long before they are born so this is the perfect time to start talking, reading and singing to the baby.

How Can Dad’s Start Bonding During Pregnancy?

Researchers do believe that babies can hear muffled outside sounds as they often react to loud noises and demonstrate familiarity to certain voices after birth. Pregnancy is a great time for daddy to begin reading books to mommy’s belly. This helps daddy to begin to form a bond with the baby and start a habit of healthy interactions. Daddy can also sing songs and tell stories. I knew a dad who played the banjo to mommy’s belly every day during pregnancy and when that baby was born, he loved the sound of daddy playing that banjo! He would turn his head and look at the banjo and move his arms and legs excitedly.

It is a good idea for daddies to take a parenting class at a local hospital, YMCA, library or recreation center. There are often baby massage classes or basic baby care classes that teach how to change a diaper or give that first bath. These classes are great for gaining a little bit of confidence for a first-time dad so that when that little baby comes along, daddy is feeling confident and informed. It may also be helpful for daddy to spend some time with another baby before his own baby arrives. Maybe there is a niece or nephew or friend’s baby to practice on. Just holding a baby builds some confidence and will allow daddy to feel more relaxed when he holds his own little bundle for the first time.

How Can Dads Continue Bonding After Baby Arrives?

Daddies, don’t be shy about singing to your baby as you put her to sleep, saying nursery rhymes as you change diapers and making up stories as you feed her lunch. Use high quality language, not baby talk, encourage eye contact, and pause between sentences to give your baby a chance to respond. Babies start to understand the pause and flow of a conversation as early as three weeks. When you pause they understand that it is their turn to make noises. Respond to her noises and have an exchange back and forth. This is so good for the language centers of the brain.

Moms, You Need to Hand Over the Reigns Sometimes

Last year, Zero to Three conducted a survey about parent’s perspectives about development and the findings from daddies might surprise you.

  • 90% of dads report that being a parent is their greatest joy.
  • 85% of dads say being a father is the best job in the world.
  • 73% of dads say their lives began when they became a dad.
  • 62% of dads want more information on how to be a good dad.
  • 84% of parents believe that children are better off when both parents are involved.
  • 64% of moms and dads agree that dads don’t get enough credit for their involvement in raising and caring for young children.

This study showed us that dads do see the value of reading to their children as 46% of dads report that they read to their children more than their dads read to them. 40% of dads would like to be more involved with raising their children but feel their partner interferes with their involvement. So, dads are ready and willing! Moms, hand that board book over! Have a glass of wine and let daddy do the bedtime routine tonight!

About the Author /

Dr. Aimee Ketchum is a pediatric occupational therapist and has been working in pediatrics for 20 years. Ketchum works in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at UPMC Pinnacle Hospital and lives in Lancaster, Pennsylvania with her husband and two daughters. Ketchum is also the owner/operator of Aimee’s Babies LLC, a child development company.

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You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ 💕⁠
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When I had my first baby, everyone told me to enjoy the newborn stage because it goes fast, and I would miss it. But I was so exhausted and overwhelmed I didn’t believe them. 😴 While I was living through it, it felt like it took forever!⁠
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If you are there now or about to enter this stage, it’s a yummy, delicious, snuggly stage. But for me, it has always been one of the harder ones, every time I go through it. So I see and feel you, mama! It’s physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. Hold tight, though, because it doesn’t last forever.⁠
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Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠ by @chroni Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠
by @chroniclesofdaddy⁠
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I've been asked so many questions by men about fatherhood. So I figured I'd drop some knowledge on my fellow Dads and soon-to-be-Dads. Here's what it looks like for the first few weeks or months after your child is born. Yup. If mom breastfeeds they pretty much are tucked like this and at times you'll wonder "what is there for me to do?" Here are my top 5 tips for any Dad after your child is born.⁠
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1️⃣ For night feedings. When mom wakes up in the middle of the night, you get up and ask if she needs any help or water. The truth is most of the time she will say no but just the fact that you offered will go far.⁠
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2️⃣ Ask mom if she can pump and then pick 1 feeding that you will always do. Mom will take on almost everything and will burn herself out if you let her. At times you may have to force her to rest without worrying about the baby. This is an easy way to do that without a fight.⁠
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3️⃣ Don't put a time limit on how long mom breastfeeds the baby. It's not just about feeding your child it's about them bonding as well. I know everyone has a different length of time they will breastfeed and as a Dad, it's hard to fully understand. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try and rush this process. It's not our place and it's not safe. You will open yourself up to a fight you can't win.⁠
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4️⃣ Be patient. I know as a Dad the first few weeks we are equally excited and yet not as important. Your time will come faster than you know. Babies grow fast and the stronger and bigger they get the more Daddy Time will be coming your way.⁠
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5️⃣ Paternity leave! If you have it TAKE IT. The early stages of a child's life are not just for moms to enjoy. I know as men making the money especially after having a baby it's hard, but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn't make you more of a man to not take the leave. It's equally as important that you as a Dad get to be a part of the early development of your child. ⁠
If someone needs this info tag them ❤️⁠
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Absolutely love these tips from @chroniclesofdaddy. 🙌
7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body 7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body After Baby 🧘‍♀️⁠
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The postpartum period, or period of recovery that takes place after a mother gives birth, is an important time for mothers to take care of themselves. 🥰 Typically, if you’re less than 6 weeks postpartum you don’t want to put any pressure on your core muscles. Also, your body’s levels of relaxin, the hormone that loosens joints to prepare for childbirth, is elevated for 3-6 months after childbirth, and longer if you are breastfeeding. All this means is: take these postpartum yoga poses slowly and stretch yourself gently. No gymnastics here or pushing beyond what is comfortable.⁠
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Remember, every mama’s body is different, so listen to how you feel and seek advice from a medical professional if you have questions about how and when to begin your personal exercise plan. Note: Try to do the following yoga poses in the order they are listed. {Click 🔗 in bio to see the 7 yoga poses to strengthen your body after baby!⁠}⁠
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