The Stereotypical Doula vs The Modern Day Doula

A doula helping a woman in labor

The Stereotypical Doula vs The Modern Day Doula

Now that you know what a doula is, I’m curious to know what pops into your mind when you hear the word “doula”? What does that doula look like? What does that doula stand for? Let me guess. You’re more than likely thinking of someone like Ina May Gaskin with long braided pigtails only helping women give birth out at the Farm. Am I right? Why do I assume this? It’s from experience. I’ve had several people, when they first come into my office, walk-in with wide eyes and look almost as if they are surprised when they first meet my team of doulas and me. I’ve even had several people comment on how “normal” we are. Is the stereotype for doulas really that abnormal? For some reason, people think we will be burning incense when they walk in and be banging on a drum or something.

birth doulas

There’s nothing wrong with these things, obviously, but I want others to know that today’s doulas, the modern doulas, aren’t just hippies. We are educated, empathetic, caring, loving, and hardworking women. We are nerds, girly girls, hippies, lesbians, straight women, mothers, not mothers. You name it. We are every woman.

Our role has also evolved over the years. Doulas help all types of women at all types of births and beyond. The modern doula believes that every woman deserves continuous support, a reliable voice, and a positive experience during birth and the transition with a newborn. So to clear up some of the stereotypes, I have come up with some points to shed light on the modern-day doula:

1. We Support Every Birth and Every Parent

You may think that doulas are only for those that choose to have a midwife as their care provider. This is absolutely NOT true. Yes, we do support women with midwives, but birth doulas also work with women that have an OB and plan on giving birth at a hospital. As for me, 98% of my clients are those very women. And in my opinion, these are the women that NEED the most support and an advocate by their side. So know that doulas don’t just support home births. We support hospital births, birth center births, medicated, and unmedicated births. We ultimately want you to have the positive experience, whatever that looks like, that you want. The modern-day doula provides their support to any woman who wants it.

The modern-day postpartum doula also doesn’t help just one type of parent or parenting style. We work with each family individually to help them decide their own parenting philosophies and empower them through their transition into parenthood. We are an objective source of information and support that can help both the mother and partner adjust to life with their new baby.

Overall, no matter how your birth unfolds, we support you. No matter how your postpartum period goes, we support you. No matter how you choose to parent, WE. SUPPORT. YOU.

2. We Receive Training and Continue Our Education

The modern-day doula has received training and continues to educate herself to be the best doula that she can be. People may think that doulas have no formal training, which is not the case. There are different certification programs available for doulas to go to. The modern-day doula has more than her own experience when working with expecting and new families. She attends these training, reads all the books, and works toward certification so that she can bring a wide breadth of knowledge to each birth and postpartum experience that she comes to.

It took me about 2 years to receive my birth doula and postpartum doula certifications through DONA International, so it isn’t just a weekend course to complete. The modern-day doula is a professional, and she invests in her knowledge, education, and training.

certifications

3. We Have All Types of Specialties and Experience

Not only does the modern-day doula receive standard doula training through her certification organization, but she also continues her education to be able to help more families and has a plethora of experience, training, and skill-sets. She could become a bereavement doula helping families through the loss of a child, or an adoption doula supporting others through the process of adoption. She could become a placenta encapsulator or a massage therapist. There are so many different specialties and training available for doulas. For example, I’ll share with you some of the training that I have received. Not only do I have a college degree and received my certification as a birth doula and postpartum doula through DONA, but I also received my license in massage therapy specializing in prenatal/postnatal/and infant massage. I became a certified Hypnobabies Hypno-Doula, I’m also a certified prenatal fitness educator, and I am a childbirth educator, newborn care educator, and an infant massage instructor. It’s wonderful that there is such a wide variety of specialties because these trainings allow us to support all types of clients better.

4.  This is a Business, Not a Hobby

The modern-day doula believes in the value that she provides her clients and treats her time and her services as a business, not a hobby. There are still some doulas that treat their work as a hobby because they may have a full-time job or are busy raising a family. Since they still want to make an impact in the birthing world and support women, they do what they can, which is wonderful. However, there are full-time doulas, like myself, that make this their career. Educating, empowering, and caring for women is their business and their livelihood. Again, doula care has evolved with all of the education and training that is available. It has become a true business for us to be able to make a living for ourselves by doing the things that we love most, which is educating and empowering families during this incredible time.

postpartum doula

5. Doulas Are Every Type of Woman of Every Age

There are all types of doulas out there. Which, I think is a great thing because that allows you to find the right doula for YOU. I’m the type of girl that loves a great pair of high heels and lip gloss. So I’m not your stereotypical doula. I know that my personality and style may not be the right fit for every mother. That’s okay! You want to choose someone that makes you feel comfortable that will put you at ease, and that will completely support you during your birthing and parenting decisions. That is a modern-day doula. Whatever your birthing and parenting decisions are, your doula should be there to provide you with the information that you need to make the best decisions for you and your family. 

I am also here to tell you that doulas are every age and every ethnicity. Some doulas are very young adults (18 years old), some doulas are grandmothers and great-grandmothers (in their 60’s and 70’s), and there are doulas every age in between. There is no stereotypical doula anymore. The modern-day doula is every age, every race, every religion, and more.

doulas

Overall, the role of a doula has changed throughout the decades, yet it has stayed the same. I hope that I have opened people’s eyes to their perception of what a doula is today. Doulas are not just there to support women that want natural births or home births. Doulas are women supporting women no matter what choices they make. We are there to lend a helping hand, a strong voice, a compassionate ear, a watchful eye, and a full heart. We are the modern-day doula.

About the Author /

Nina is The Baby Chick® & CEO of Baby Chick®. She is a baby planner, birth doula, postpartum doula, childbirth educator, newborn care specialist, and a mother. With over eight years of experience, she has supported hundreds of families during their pregnancies, births, and postpartum journeys.

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Here are five things I wish I had known about potty training before I jumped into it with my then two-and-a-half-year-old daughter. Because, if I had known these things, I think I would have been a bit more laid back about the whole thing! {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
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by @chroniclesofdaddy⁠
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If someone needs this info tag them ❤️⁠
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1️⃣ Look for signs of readiness:⁠
- Diaper dry for at least 1-2 hours.⁠
- Pulling at their diaper when its wet or soiled.⁠
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Potty training is much quicker if your child is showing the above signs, but you can start before this.⁠
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2️⃣ What you will need to buy:⁠
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- Steps⁠
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3️⃣ Getting yourself and your child prepared:⁠
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- Look on YouTube with your child at some potty training stories (e.g. 'I Want My Potty' and 'Pirate Pete's Potty')⁠
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- Sit your child on the potty at every diaper change, first thing in the morning and just before bed to get them used to sitting on the toilet.⁠
- Teach your child the correct vocabulary or signs needed to communicate when they need to go potty.⁠
- Make sure you have plenty of spare clothes.⁠
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4️⃣ Let's get toilet trained:⁠
- Get your child to choose a pair of underwear and put them on.⁠
- Talk to them about using the toilet and communicating when they need to pee or poo. You can sit them on the toilet at this point if you wish.⁠
- Take your child to the toilet every 15/20 minutes. Say "let's go to the potty" rather than asking "do you want to go to the toilet" - if you ask, they are likely to say no! Also, look for signs like moving from side-to-side or hiding. These are normal signs that they might need to go potty.⁠
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(Continue reading in the comments!)
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“You are my reason.⁠ ⁠ You are the reason I “You are my reason.⁠
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You are the reason I get up each morning.⁠
Even though my eyelids are as heavy as a five-ton truck.⁠
Even though all I want is to sleep in, a coffee and breakfast in bed.⁠
You are more important.⁠
You need me.⁠
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For you, I will always love it.⁠
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You are the reason I am now filled with gratitude.⁠
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You are the reason that my heart is full.⁠
Even though I am grateful for our life before you.⁠
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You are my reason." ❤️ Words by @hangingwiththeheaphys 💕⁠
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