Before giving birth to my first child, I already suspected that circumcision might not be the right choice for our family. But it wasn’t until I became pregnant with my son two years later that my husband and I seriously researched the topic and discussed it together.

Like many parents, we came into the conversation with different perspectives. At times, the conversation felt emotional and overwhelming because we both wanted to make the best decision possible for our son.

My husband had been circumcised himself and initially didn’t see a strong reason not to continue the tradition. I spent months researching the medical information, reading personal stories, and reflecting on what felt right for our family.

Ultimately, we decided not to circumcise our son. This is an incredibly personal parenting decision, and every family approaches it differently, but these are some of the reasons that influenced our choice.

For us, making an informed decision mattered more than simply following tradition.

Why I Didn’t Circumcise My Son

Here are a few reasons why I (and eventually, my husband) chose not to circumcise our son:

1. Circumcision Rates Have Changed

When I brought up this subject to my husband, his first response was that circumcision is “normal” and that most of our son’s peers will have had it done. That statement may have been true when we were children, but it’s no longer true.

According to a 2010 article from The New York Times, circumcision rates in newborn boys were down to 32% of American boys.¹ That means circumcision is less common among younger generations than it once was.

Related: Baby Circumcision Myths and Facts

2. The Foreskin Has a Biological Purpose

The foreskin serves more purposes in a male child’s life than many people realize. It keeps a baby’s penis safe and moist.² Some research suggests that an intact penis may retain greater sensitivity later in life.⁷ This is because the foreskin has a very high concentration of specialized nerve receptors.⁸ So, the foreskin plays an important role in health and sexual development throughout the male child’s life.

3. We Were Concerned About Possible Risks

Some of the research and statistics surrounding circumcision are debated, and recommendations can vary between medical organizations and healthcare providers.

According to the source referenced below, these were some of the reported outcomes for circumcised boys:³

• 75 will not readily breastfeed post-op
• 55 will have adverse reactions from the surgery
• 35 will have post-op hemorrhaging to one degree or another
• 31 will develop meatal ulcers
• 10 will need to have the circumcision surgery repeated to fix prior surgical problems/error
• 8 will have an infection at the surgical site
• 3 will develop post-operative phimosis
• 2 will have a more serious complication (such as seizure, heart attack, stroke, loss of penis, or death)
• 1 will require additional immediate surgery and sutures to stop hemorrhage
• 1 will develop fibrosis
• 1 will develop phimosis
• 1 will be treated with antibiotics for a urinary tract infection (UTI)
• 1 will be treated with antibiotics for a surgical site infection
• Of those who do receive pain medication for the surgery (about 4% of those boys undergoing circumcision in the United States), some will have adverse reactions to the pain medication injected

The source also included the following statistics for intact boys:³

• 1 will be treated with antibiotics for a UTI (fewer if the foreskin is never forcibly retracted)
• 1 will be told to get cut later in life for one reason or another (fewer if the foreskin is never forcibly retracted)

Note: According to the source, the statistics above are the averages from all studies examining the health outcomes of circumcised vs. intact boys between 1989 and 2009.³

4. We Didn’t Feel the Benefits Outweighed the Procedure

Many nations don’t perform circumcisions or speak out against them.⁹ As I researched, I was surprised to learn that cultural and historical factors played a major role in the rise of circumcision in the United States.

Historically, some supporters of circumcision believed it could discourage masturbation and “promiscuous” behavior in men.⁴ I was genuinely surprised to learn that.

Moreover, research on circumcision and reduced risk of certain sexually transmitted infections has shown mixed findings, and medical organizations interpret the evidence differently.¹⁰ However, some studies show that it may aid in reducing the risk of contracting HIV and STDs.^5,10

Related: Answers to 5 Common Questions New Parents Have for Pediatricians

5. We Were Concerned About Pain and Recovery

Babies are capable of feeling pain and may even be more sensitive to it than adults.¹¹ During a circumcision, the baby is awake and can be aware of the full extent of the pain (depending on if they receive local anesthesia).¹² There are videos available online that show the procedure and the baby’s reaction.

You can read more about circumcision here and here to investigate further.

Ultimately, my husband and I felt most comfortable leaving our son uncircumcised after reviewing the information and discussing it together. This decision may not be the right one for every family, but it was the right choice for ours.

For many parents, circumcision can feel like an emotional and deeply personal decision. Families may come to different conclusions based on their medical beliefs, cultural background, or personal experiences. Talking openly with your pediatrician or healthcare provider can help you make the most informed decision for your child.

Every family weighs this decision differently, and many parents spend a great deal of time researching before making their choice.