Book Review: Bringing Up Bébé

book club

Book Review: Bringing Up Bébé

This New York Times Bestseller has had a lot of parents talking over the years. Can it really deliver on its promise to guide you to raise bright, well-mannered children while maintaining a full adult life? Well we’ve read the book and had a Book Club Live on Facebook discussing it. Watch the video below after Nina’s notes to learn more.

If you’d like to read the book Bringing Up Bébé but don’t have the time to, read Nina’s Notes below to get the full scoop on each chapter. 🙂

book club


Nina’s Notes: Bringing Up Bébé

At the beginning of the book, Pamela Druckerman (the author), gives us a glossary of French parenting terms. After reading a few of them, I was curious to open the next couple of pages and see what it was all about. My favorite ones were:

  • autonomie (oh-toh-no-mee)–autonomy. The blend of independence and self-reliance that French parents encourage in their children from an early age.
  • complicité (kohm-plee-see-tay)–complicity. The mutual understanding that French parents and caregivers try to develop with children, beginning from birth. Complicité implies that even small babies are rational beings, with whom adults can have reciprocal, respectful relationships.
  • équilibre (eh-key-lee-bruh)–balance. Not letting any one part of life–including being a parent–overwhelm the other parts.
  • sage (sah-je)–wise and calm. This describes a child who is in control of himself or absorbed in an activity. Instead of saying “be good,” French parents say “be sage.”

“french children don’t throw food”

In her introduction, Pamela Druckerman is at a French restaurant with her 18 month-old daughter who was running round making a mess and lots of noise. She looked, around an notched that the other French children were  “sitting contentedly in their high chairs, waiting for their food, or eating fish and even vegetables. There’s no shrieking or whining. Everyone is having one course at a time. And there’s no debris around their tables.” She wondered, “Are French kids just genetically calmer than ours?” This set her on an exploration of French parenting.  After years of investigative work, she thinks she’s discovered what French parents are doing differently. She finds out that to be a different kind of parent, you don’t just need a different parenting philosophy. You need a very different view of what a child actually is.

Chapter 1: “are you waiting for a child?”

  • After leaving New York City, Pamela moves to Paris to live with her boyfriend. They soon get married and conceive, and Pamela starts to notice the difference between American and French ways of parenting.
  • Americans are neurotic about pregnant people.  The Parisians are not. The French will light up a cigarette right next to you and ask, “are you waiting for a child?” Which means “are your pregnant” in French.

Chapter 2: “Paris is burping”

  • Frenchwomen don’t treat pregnancy like an independent research project. While French parenting resources are abundant, they don’t seem to be required reading.
  • One Parisian mother tells Pamela, ” I don’t think you can raise a child while reading a book. You have to go with your feeling.”
  • American women typically demonstrate commitment by worrying and showing how much they’re willing to sacrifice, even while pregnant. Frenchwomen signal their commitment by projecting calm and flaunting the fact that they haven’t renounced pleasure.
  • The French are calmer about sex. They are calmer about food. The point in France isn’t that anything goes, it’s that women should be calm and sensible.
  • The main reason that pregnant Frenchwomen don’t get fat is that they are very careful not to eat too much. Frenchwomen don’t see pregnancy as a free pass to overeat, in part because they haven’t been denying themselves the foods they love (or secretly binging on those foods) for most of their adult lives. Instead they are very mindful of what they eat.
  • Despite being the birthplace of Dr. Fernand Lamaze, epidurals are now extremely common in France.
  • In France, the way you give birth doesn’t situate you within a value system or define the sort of parent you’ll be. It is, for the most part, a way of “getting your baby safely from your uterus into your arms.”
  • Each newborn is issued a white softcover book called a carnet de santé, which will follow the child through the age of eighteen. Doctors record every checkup and vaccination in this book, and plot the child’s height, weight, and head size. It also has commonsense basics on what to feed babies, how to bathe them, when to go for checkups, and how to spot medical problems.

Chapter 3: “doing her nights”

  • Pamela is confused by the question, “Is she doing her nights?”
  • The French use this expression to mean sleeping through the night
  • It is normal for French babies to sleep through the night at 6 weeks or 8 weeks old. The French expect their babies to be sleeping through the night between 3 months and 6 months old.
  • The French keep their babies in the sunlight during the day and put them to bed in the dar at night.
  • Almost all French parents can articulate how they observed their babies, following the rhythms they observe.  “French parents talk so much about rhythm, you’d think they were starting rock bands, not raising kids.”
  • While speaking with a French pediatrician living in New York, Pamela learns the secret of “The Pause.”
    • “Give your baby a chance to self-soothe, don’t automatically respond, even from birth.” This pause is crucial. “The parents who were a little less responsive to late-night fussing always had a kids who were good sleepers, while the jumpy folks had kids who would wake up repeatedly at night until it became unbearable.” And whether they are breastfed or bottle-fed doesn’t matter.
    • Young babies move and make noise while they’re sleeping. This is normal , and if parents rush in and pick the baby up every time he makes a peep, they’ll sometimes wake him up.
    • Babies wake up between their sleep cycles, which last about two hours. It’s normal for them to cry a bit when they’re first learning to connect these cycles. If a parent automatically interprets this cry as a demand for food or a sign of distress and rushes in to soothe the baby, the baby will have a hard time learning to connect the cycles on his own. That is, he’ll need an adult to come in and soothe him back to sleep at the end of each cycle.
    • The Pause doesn’t have the brutal feeling of sleep training. It’s more like sleep teaching. But the window for it is pretty small, only until around 4 months.
  • There’s another reason for The Pause: “to teach them patience.”
  • French parents believe it’s their job to gently teach babies how to sleep well, the same way they’ll later teach them to have good hygiene, eat balanced meals, and ride a bike.
  • A meta-study of dozens of peer-reviewed sleep papers concludes that what’s critical is something called “Parent education/prevention.” This involves teaching pregnant women and parents of newborns about the science of sleep and giving them a few basic sleep rules. Parents are supposed to start following these rules from birth to when their babies are just a few weeks old. What are the rules?
    • The authors of the meta-study point to a paper that tracked pregnant women who planned to breastfeed. Researchers gave some of the women a two-page handout with instructions. One rule on the handout was that parents should not hold, rock, or nurse a baby to sleep in the evenings, in order to help him learn the difference between day and night. Another instruction for week-old babies was that if they cried between midnight and five a.m., parents should re-swaddle, pat, rediaper, or walk the baby around, but that the mother should offer the beast only if the baby continued crying after that.
    • An additional instruction was that, from the child’s birth, the mothers should distinguish between when their babies were crying and when they were just whimpering in their sleep. In other words, before picking up a noisy baby, the mother should pause to make sure he’s awake.
  • The researchers explained the scientific basis for these instructions. A “control group” of breastfeeding mothers had gotten no instruction. The results were remarkable: From birth to three weeks old, babies in the treatment and control groups had nearly identical sleep patterns. But at four weeks old, 38% of the treatment-group babies were sleeping through the night, versus 7% of the control-group babies. At eight weeks, all the treatment babies were sleeping through the night, compared with 23% of the control babies. The authors’ conclusion is resounding: “The results of this study show that breastfeeding need not be associated with night waking.”
  • The researchers say that if you miss the fourth-month window, they believe in cry it out.
  • To the common worry that a four-month-old is hungry at night: “She is hungry. But she does not need to eat. You’re hungry in the middle of the night too; it’s just that you learn not to eat because it’s good for your belly to take a rest. Well, it’s good for hers, too.”
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Chapter 4: “wait!”

  • French babies all eat at roughly the same times. With slight variations, mothers tell Pamela that their babies eat at about 8am, 12pm, 4pm, and 8pm. In other words, by about four months old, French babies are already on the same eating schedule that they’ll be on for the rest of their lives (grown-ups usually ditch the 4pm snack).
  • The French seem collectively to have achieved the miracle of getting babies and toddlers not just to wait, but to do so happily.
  • Walter Mischel is the world’s expert on how children delay gratification. He is famous for devising the “marshmallow test” in the late 1960s, testing children’s ability to wait, delaying gratification.
    • In the mid-1980’s, Mischel revisited the kids from the original experiment, to see if there was a difference between how good and bad delayers were faring as teenagers. The longer the children had resisted eating the marshmallow as four-year-olds, the higher Mischel and his colleagues assessed later on. Among other skills, the good delayers were better at concentrating and reasoning. They “do not tend to go to pieces under stress.”
    • Could it be that making children delay gratification–as middle-class French parents do–actually makes them calmer and more resilient? Whereas middle-class American kids, who are in general more used to getting what they want right away, fall apart under stress?
  • Instead of saying “quiet” or “stop” to rowdy kids, French parents often just issue a sharp attend, which means “wait.”
  • French parents don’t expect their kids to be mute, joyless, and compliant. Parents just don’t see how their kids can enjoy themselves if they can’t control themselves.
  • Having the willpower to wait isn’t about being stoic. It’s about learning techniques that make waiting less frustrating. “There are many many ways of doing that, of which the most direct and the simplest . . . is to self-distract,” Mischel says.
  • Parents don’t have to specifically teach their kids “distraction strategies.” Kids learn this skill on their own if parents just allow them to practice waiting.
  • French parents don’t worry that they’re going to damage their kids by frustrating them. To the contrary, they think their kids will be managed if they can’t cope with frustration. They also treat coping with frustration as a core life skill. Their kids simply have to learn it.
  • The French have a belief that even babies are rational people who can learn things.
  • We shouldn’t mistake angering a child for bad parenting, Caroline Thompson, a family psychologist says.
  • French principles:
    • The first is that, after the first few months, a baby should eat at roughly the same times each day.
    • The second is that babies should have a few big feeds rather than a lot of small ones.
    • And the third is that the baby should fit into the rhythm of the family.

Chapter 5: “tiny little humans”

  • American parents think that the better we are at parenting, the faster our kids will develop. French parents just don’t seem so anxious for their kids to get head starts. They don’t push them to reach milestones ahead of schedule.
  • “Awakening” is about introducing a child to sensory experiences, including tastes. It doesn’t always require the parent’s active involvement. It can come from observation and play as the child’s senses are sharpened. It’s the first step toward teaching him to be a cultivated adult who knows how to enjoy himself. Awakening is a kind of training for children in how to soak up the pleasure and richness of the moment.
  • Dolt thought that parents should listen carefully to their kids and explain the world to the them. But she thought that this world would of course include many limits, and that the child, being rational, could absorb and hands these limits.
  • The parents I see in Paris today really do seem to have found a balance between listening to their kids and being clear that it’s the parents who are in charge (even if they sometimes have to remind themselves of this).

Chapter 6: “day care?”

  • American parents tend to voice daycare if they can afford to by hiring nannies, staying at home, or utilizing family connections. But upper-middle class parents are fighting to get their children into public, neighborhood daycares or “crèche”
  • French mothers are convinced that the crèche is good for their kids. In Paris, about a third of kids under the age of three go to the crèche, and half are in some kind of collective care. They think kids are safer in settings with lots of trained adults looking after them, rather than being “alone with a stranger,” (like a nanny).
  • An in-house cook at each crèche prepares a four course lunch from scratch each day. A truck arrives several times a week with seasonal, fresh, sometimes even organic ingredients.
  • In France, working in day care is a very competitive career.

Chapter 7: “bébé au lait”

  • In France, long term breastfeeding is very rare, and almost everyone abandons it shortly after leaving the hospital.
  • Some locals report that breastfeeding still has a peasant image, from the days when babies were farmed out to rural wet nurses. Others say that artificial-milk companies pay off hospitals, give away free samples in maternity wards, and advertise mercilessly.
  • Pierre Bitoun, a French pediatrician and longtime proponent of breastfeeding in France, says many Frenchwomen think they just don’t have enough milk. Dr. Bitoun says the real problem is that French maternity hospitals often don’t encourage mothers to feed their newborns every few hours. That’s critical in the beginning to stimulate mothers to produce enough milk. Otherwise, a recourse to formula starts to seem inevitable.
  • Even though French children consume enormous amounts of formula, they beat American kids on nearly all measures of health. France ranks about six points above the developed-country average in UNICEF’s overall health-and-safety ranking, which includes infant mortality, immunization rates until age two, and deaths from accidents and injury up to age nineteen. The United States ranks about eighteen points below the average.
  • In Paris, three months seems to be the magic number for regaining the pre-baby body.
  • There is an assumption that even good mothers aren’t at the constant service of their children, and that there’s no reason to feel bad about that.
  • French women don’t just permit themselves physical time off; they also allow themselves to mentally detach from their kids. In France, the dominant social message is that while being a parent is very important, it shouldn’t subsume one’s other roles. Mothers shouldn’t become “enslaved” to their children.
  • American women think of their identities as “mom” and “woman” as very separate. Mom clothes vs. sexy clothes. In France, these roles are fused and at any given time you can see them both.
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Chapter 8: “the perfect mother doesn’t exist”

  • In a 2010 survey by the Pew Research Center, 91% of French adults said the most satisfying kind of marriage is one in which both husband and wife have jobs. (Just 71% of Americans and Britons said this.)
  • For American mothers, guilt is an emotional tax we pay for not being perfect.
  • The French consider guilt unhealthy and unpleasant, and they try to banish it. “Guilt is a trap,” says Pamela’s friend Sharon, a literary agent. When she and her Francophone girlfriends meet for drinks, they remind one another that “the perfect mother doesn’t exist . . . we say this to reassure each other.”
  • The Perfect Mother Is You
  • Frenchwomen have a conviction that it’s unhealthy for mothers and children to spend all their time together. They believe there’s a risk of smothering kids with attention and anxiety, or of developing a situation where a mothers’ and a child’s needs are too intertwined.
  • When Americans talk about work-life balance, we’re describing a kind of juggling, where we’re trying to keep all parts of our lives in motion without screwing up any of them too badly. The French also talk about l’equilibre. But they mean it differently. For them, it’s about not letting any one part of life–including parenting–overwhelm the rest.

Chapter 9: “caca boudin”

  • Caca boudin means “poop sausage.” Their three-year-old uses it to mean “whatever,” “leave me alone,” and “none of your business.” It’s an all-purpose retort.
  • Learning to read isn’t part of the French curriculum until the equivalent of first grade, the year that kids turn seven. They believe that before age seven it is much more important for children to learn social skills, how to organize their thoughts, and how to speak well.
  • While reading isn’t taught, speaking definitely is. In fact, it turns out that the main goal of maternelle (French preschool) is for kids of all backgrounds to perfect their spoken French.
  • French logic is that if children can speak clearly, they can also think clearly
  • A French child learns to “observe, ask questions, and make his interrogations increasingly rational. He learns to adopt  point of view other than his own, and this confrontation with logical thinking gives him a taste of reasoning. He becomes capable of counting, of classifying, ordering, and describing . . . “
  • It’s very important in France to say s’il vous plait (please), merci (thank you), bonjour, (hello), and au revoir (good-bye). Saying bonjour is super important to the French because it acknowledges the other person’s humanity. Children must do the same.
  • This helps kids learn that they’re not the only ones with feelings and needs.
  • Pamela finally decides to ask some French adults about this mysterious word, “caca boudin.” It turns out that it is a curse word, but one that’s just for little kids. They pick it up from one another around the time they start learning to use the toilet. The adults I speak to recognize that since children have so many rules and limits, they need some freedom, too. The word gives kids power and autonomy.

Chapter 10: “double entrendre”

  • Pamela talks about her desire for a second child and how this time it is much harder to get pregnant. She is taking med and seeing an acupuncturist; nothing is working. Then after taking a shot of medicine and a night of love in Brussels, she becomes pregnant. With twins! Twin boys. 🙂
  • She has a vaginal birth and discovers how difficult life becomes with three children under three. She begins to have a lot of doubt about everything: if she named the boys the right names and if she has had too many children. But there are also moments of delight when things are good.

Chapter 11: “i adore this baguette”

  • Research shows that martial satisfaction has fallen and the mothers find it more pleasant to do housework than to take care of their kids. American social scientists now pretty much take for granted that today’s parents are less happy than non parents. Studies show that parents have higher rates of depression and that their unhappiness increases with each additional child.
  • In France, they are much more concerned about a woman’s pelvic floor after childbirth. Pam describes her “perineal reeducation” visits with her reeducator, Monica, a slim Spanish woman. She was prescribed by her doctor 10 reeducation visits.
  • Sacrificing your sex life for your kids is considered wildly unhealthy and out of balance.
  • The couple is the most important. It’s the only thing that you chose in your life. Your children, you didn’t choose. You chose your husband. So, you’re going to make your life with him. So you have an interest in it going well. Especially when the children leave, you want to get along with him.
  • There are structural reasons why Frenchwomen seem calmer than American women. They take about twenty-one more vacation days each year. France has less feminist rhetoric, but is has many more institutions that enable women to work. There’s the national paid maternity leave (the United States has none), the subsidized nannies, and crèches, the free universal preschool from age three, and a myriad of tax credits and payments for having kids. All this doesn’t ensure that there’s equality between men and women. But it does ensure that Frenchwomen can have both a career and kids.
  • Pamela tells the story of how her friend, Helene, said a very simple, sweet, and honest thing to her husband. When he went to shop to pick up a few things, he also picked up a crusty baguette. Helene exclaims, “J’adore cette baguette!” (I adore this baguette!) to her husband, William. Pam can’t imagine saying anything like that to Simon. She usually would say that he’s bought the wrong baguette or worry that he’s left a mess that she’ll have to clean up. That sheer girlish pleasure sadly doesn’t exist between them anymore. She tells Simon this baguette story and he says, “we need that j’adore settee baguette,” and she agrees that they absolutely do.

Chapter 12: “you just have to taste it”

  • Dominique, a French mother who lives in New York, says at first she was shocked to learn that her daughter’s preschool feeds the kids every hour all day long. She was also surprised to see parents giving their kids snacks all throughout the day at the playground. “If a toddler starts having a tantrum, they will give food to calm hi down. They use food to distract them from whatever crisis,” she says.
  • French kids are so used to fresh food that processed food tastes strange to them. There aren’t very many “kid’s menus” in France. At most restaurants, children are expected to order from the regular menu.
  • French kids eat only at mealtimes and at the afternoon gouter (snack).
  • The French government campaign reminding people to eat at least “five fruits and vegetables per day” has become a national catchphrase.
  • There are not French children who will eat just one type of food; their parents will simply not allow this. Of course, they like certain foods more than others. And there are plenty of finicky French three-year-olds. But these childcare don’t get to exclude whole categories of textures, colors, and nutrients just because they want to. The extreme pickiness that’s come to seem normal in America and Britain looks to French parents like a dangerous eating disorder or, at best, a wildly bad habit.
  • Just 3.1% of French five- and six-year-olds are obese. In America, 10.4% of kids between two and five are obese. This gap is much wider for older French and American kids.
  • French parents don’t start their babies off on rice cereal. From the first bite, they serve babies flavor-packed vegetables. The first foods that French babes typically eat are steamed and pureed green beans, spinach, carrots, peeled zucchini, and the white part of leeks.
  • Parents see it as their job to bring the child around to appreciating fruits and vegetables. they believe that just as they must teach the child how to sleep, how to wait, and how to say bonjour, they must teach her how to eat.
  • “There’s not such thing as ‘kids’ food.'”
  • For a French kid, candy has its place. It’s a regular-enough part of their lives that they don’t gorge on it like freed prisoners the moment they get their hands on it. Mostly, children seem to eat it at birthday parties, school events, and as the occasional treat. At these occasions, they’re usually free to eat all they want. Kids, too, need moments when the regular rules don’t apply. But parents decide when these moments are.
  • French parents aren’t afraid of sugary foods. In general, they will serve cake or cookies at lunch or at the gouter. But they don’t give kids chocolate or rich desserts with dinner. “What you eat in the evening just stays with you for years,” Pamela’s friend Fanny explains.
  • At lunch and dinner they serve vegetables first, when the kids are the hungriest.
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Chapter 13: “it’s me who decides”

  • Many French parents have an easy, calm authority with their children. Their kids actually listen to them. French children aren’t constantly dashing off, talking back, or engaging in prolonged negotiations. But how exactly do French parents pull this off?
  • Pamela reflects, “The French way sometimes is too harsh. They could be little more gentle and friendly with kids, I think. But I think the American way takes it way to the extreme, of raising kids as if they are ruling the world.”
  • “We have a saying in French: it’s easier to loosen the screw than to tighten the screw, meaning that you have to be very tough. If you’re too tough, you loosen. But if you’re too lenient… afterward to tighten, forget about it.”
  • The kids need to understand that they’re not the center of attention, They need to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them.
  • In defining limits for kids, French parents often invoke the language of rights. Rather than saying “Don’t hit Jules,” they typically say, “You don’t have the right to hit Jules.” This is more than a semantic difference. It feels different to say it this way.
  • Another phrase that adults use a lot with children is “I don’t agree,” as in, “I don’t agree with you pitching your peas on the floor.” Parents say this in a serious tone, while looking directly at the child. It establishes the adult as another mind, which the child must consider. And it credits the child with having his own view about the peas, even if this view is being over-ruled.
  • The more spoiled a child is, the more unhappy he is.
  • Madeleine says that she’s not just trying to frighten children into submission. She says “the big eyes” work best when she has a strong connection withe the child, and when there’s mutual respect. She says the most satisfying part of her job is developing “complicity” with a child, as if they’re seeing the world the same way, and when she almost knows what the child is about to do before he does it.
  • You must listen to the child, but it’s up to you to fix the limits.
  • French parents mean something different than American parents do when they call themselves “Strict.” They mean that they’re very strict about a few things and pretty relaxed about everything else. That’s the cadre model: a firm frame, surrounding a lot of freedom.
  • “We should leave the child as free as possible, without imposing useless rules on him,” Francoise Dolto says in The Major Stages of Childhood. “We should leave him only the cadre of rules that are essential for his security. And he’ll understand from experience, when he tries to transgress, that they are essential, and that we don’t do anything just to bother him.” In other words, being strict about a few key things makes parents seem more reasonable and thus amens it more likely that children will obey.

Chapter 14: “let him live his life”

  • The French give children as much autonomie (autonomy) as they can handle.
  • The French believe that kids feel confident when they’re able to do things for themselves, and do those things well. After children have learned to talk, adults don’t praise them for saying just anything. They praise them for saying interesting things, and for speaking well.
  • French parents want to teach their children to verbally “defend themselves well.” Pamela quotes an informant who says, “In France, if the child has something to say, others listen to him. But the child can’t take too much time and still retain his audience; if he delays, the family finishes his sentences for him. This gets him in the habit of formulating his ideas better before he speaks. Children learn to speak quickly, and to be interesting.” Even when French kids do say interesting things–or just give the correct answer–French adults are decidedly understated in praise. They don’t act like every job well done is an occasion to say “good job.”
  • This focus on the negative, rather than on trying to boost kids’–and parents’–morales with positive reinforcement, is a well-know (and often criticized) feature of French schools. What you’re taught in high school is to learn to reason. You’re not supposed to be creative. You’re supposed to be articulate.
  • Pamela suspects that French parents may be right in giving less praise. After a while, children will need someone else’s approval to feel good about themselves. And if kids are assured of praise for whatever they do, then they won’t need to try very hard. They’ll be praised anyway.
  • New research shows the “excessive praise distorts children’s motivations; they begin doing things merely to hear the praise, losing sight of the intrinsic enjoyment.”
  • Research shows that when heavily praised students get to college, they “become risk-averse and lack perceived autonomy.” These students “commonly drop out of classes rather than suffer a mediocre grade, and they have a hard time picking a major. They’re afraid to commit to something because they’re afraid of not succeeding.” This research also refutes that conventional American wisdom that when kids fail at something, parents should cushion the blow with positive feedback. A better tack is to gently delve into what went wrong, giving kids the confidence and the tools to improve.

“the future in french”

  • What has really connected Pam to France is discovering the wisdom of French parenting. She’s learned that children are capable of feats of self-reliance and mindful behaviors that, as an American parent, she might never have imagined.

Book Club: Bringing Up Bébé

Join us on Facebook Live as we discuss the controversial book Bringing Up Bébé and French parenting. We're wine-ding down the evening with a delicious box from Wine Down Box and discussing all the hot topics from the book. Grab a glass and join us in the conversation!

Posted by Baby Chick on Monday, January 30, 2017

We want to thank Wine Down Box for the delicious bottles of wine and treats from their subscription boxes. We loved them! It was the perfect way to “wine-d down” the evening and discuss an interesting book. Two thumbs up!

About the Author /

Nina is The Baby Chick® & CEO of Baby Chick®. She is a baby planner, birth doula, postpartum doula, childbirth educator, newborn care specialist, and a mother. With over eight years of experience, she has supported hundreds of families during their pregnancies, births, and postpartum journeys.

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#birth #newmom #childbirth #motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #mumlife #mommylife #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣  #birthwithoutfear #birthisbeautiful #cesareanbirth
❤️ 5 Things You Should Do Your First Week as a ❤️ 5 Things You Should Do Your First Week as a New Parent ❤️⁠
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Welcome to #parenthood! After what seems like forever, baby has finally arrived. 😍 This is one of the most exciting, nerve-wracking times a person can have in their life, and it can be very easy to get overwhelmed and lost in the moment. 🙈 But this first week as a new parent can be one of the hardest.⁠
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I thought reading a few books was all I really needed to prepare me for motherhood, but in the end, it was completely different from anything I ever imagined. The first week, especially, was much more overwhelming than I expected; you’re physically recovering from #childbirth, your hormones running haywire as they start to resettle back to some sort of normal, and you’re getting to know your baby, all while trying to get them to eat, sleep, and stay healthy and strong.⁠
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Looking back on that time, there are definitely more than a handful of things I wish I could have told my newbie-mom self to do, but here are my top five pieces of advice for the first week as a new parent. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!}⁠
📷: @adrienneneufeld⁠ & @stephanie.lauren.co
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #newmom #newparent #mumlife #mommylife #parenting #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Sad but true . . . 🤷‍♀️😭⁠ (quote via Sad but true . . . 🤷‍♀️😭⁠
(quote via @perfectpending via Twitter)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
🍌 Baby-Led Weaning is Actually the Best Lazy Pa 🍌 Baby-Led Weaning is Actually the Best Lazy Parenting Hack 🥑⁠
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Baby-led Weaning has become a very popular feeding trend in the last decade or so. When I first started having kids, though, I'd never heard of it. After my daughter was born, I assumed I would eventually give her purees when it was time to start her on solid food. However, I knew I would never give her the awful canned baby food in the grocery store.⁠
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For one thing, I had terrible college experiences (hey, sorority games!) trying those purees and the thought of it made me gag. Secondly, I knew from research that most of these store-bought purees were not made with quality ingredients and often had sugar added. I preferred to feed my baby good food, so I decided I was going to make her purees. How hard could it be?⁠
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Long story short, I survived one week making homemade purees. ONE WEEK. I discovered the hard way that I did not have time, nor patience, nor energy, to make my kid food every several days. Admitting to myself that I was a lazy mom (i.e., tired mom), I was determined to find a better way. I started researching other methods of introducing solids and (praise the heavens!) I stumbled onto Baby-Led Weaning. 🙌 {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading about Baby Led Weaning!}⁠
📷: @fieldsofhoney⁠
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#babyledweaning #startingsolids #babyfood #weaning #mumlife #firstfoods #organic #babiesofinstagram #messymeals #babyfeeding #feedingbaby #igbaby #blw #parenting #parenthood #momlife #babychick #mommychick #motherhood #mealtime #toddlerfood #healthykids
Thank you, honey. Cheers to you! 🍷😘⁠ 📷: Thank you, honey. Cheers to you! 🍷😘⁠
📷: @momof1anddone⁠
.⁠
#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Let’s. Go. 👿🦹‍♀️⁠ Why does it alwa Let’s. Go. 👿🦹‍♀️⁠
Why does it always have to get to this point? 😒⁠
(quote via @lurkathomemom)⁠
.⁠
#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Yes, pregnancy is a blessing. But no, you don’t Yes, pregnancy is a blessing. But no, you don’t have to love every minute of it to be a good mom. Just because you might not like moments (or days or weeks) of being pregnant, it doesn’t mean you don’t want your baby or don’t love your baby or that you’re ungrateful to be pregnant. Pregnancy is a lot of work and can be crazy uncomfortable and exhausting. But, of course, you love your baby. It’s okay to be tired and over it and ready to meet your baby. And yes, you are still a good mom. ❤️
📷: @mrs.caitlin_fought
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#pregnancy #pregnant #pregnancytip  #momtobe #pregnancylife #mamatobe #babybump #pregnancyjourney #bumpie #preggo #maternity #motherhood #momlife #expecting #mumlife #mommytobe #pregnantlife #babyontheway #inspirepregnancy #mommychick #babychick
YIKES! 😬 Hopefully there's a stellar recital at YIKES! 😬 Hopefully there's a stellar recital at the end of this. 😂⁠
📷: @humorandwine⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Hope your Valentine's Day was filled with love, hu Hope your Valentine's Day was filled with love, hugs and kisses. 😍❤️⁠
📸: @julianaguilar⁠
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#kisses #valentinesday #love #happy #picoftheday #xoxo #lipstick #baby #newborn #cute #family #momlife #babyboy #motherhood #babylove #instagood #babiesofinstagram #babychick #mommychick #valentines #valentine #vday #happyvalentinesday #bemyvalentine #bemine
What would your candy heart say? 😜❤️⁠
📷: @punsandlittleones⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick #valentinesday #candyhearts
Happy Valentine's Day! 💝 Just FYI before you ce Happy Valentine's Day! 💝 Just FYI before you celebrate . . . It's never just a "back rub" 🤦‍♀️🤣⁠
(quote via @littlewinkssleep)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick #disney+ #disneyplus #netflixandchill
❤️ Low Cost Date Night Ideas for Couples on a ❤️ Low Cost Date Night Ideas for Couples on a Budget ❤️⁠
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Ah, #dating. Do you remember those days? After #marriage and a baby, dating your partner is probably the last thing on your mind. I get it. Dating is expensive. It takes time. It takes energy. These are things you may be lacking as a busy couple. But, there are low cost #datenight ideas you can incorporate into your busy schedule and I think you should. Why? Because dating your partner now is more important than ever.⁠
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Not only is dating after you are #married incredibly beneficial to your marriage, it's also really important to the rest of your #family dynamic. When mom and dad are happy and show #love toward one another, kids can feel that energy. The same is true when mom and dad aren't happy. For these reasons, date night should be one of the most important appointments on that very busy family calendar!⁠
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With a little planning, you can incorporate date night back into your schedule. Start with one night a month, for example. Then perhaps try to find time for one night a week. There are a lot of ways you and your partner can invest in one another without spending much (if anything!) and, perhaps, not even leaving the house! Here are some low cost date night ideas you can use to start making your dating life a priority again. {Click 🔗 in bio to check out our low cost date night ideas!}⁠
📸: @sivanayla⁠
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#pregnancy #pregnant #momtobe #pregnancylife #mamatobe #babybump #bumpie #preggo #maternity #motherhood #momlife #expecting #mumlife #mommytobe #pregnantlife #babyontheway #inspirepregnancy #mommychick #babychick #love #couple
If you're wondering what to gift her on Valentine' If you're wondering what to gift her on Valentine's Day that doesn't cost a lot?? These are guaranteed to make her feel loved. 💕⁠
📷: @majatomljanovic⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #mamalove #mommychick #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #selfcare #selflove #vday #valentinesday #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
🤱 Don't Give Up: It May Not Be Low Milk Supply 🤱 Don't Give Up: It May Not Be Low Milk Supply 🤱⁠
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The early stages of #breastfeeding can be challenging. So many different new things happening all at once. Sometimes new mothers experience issues that they confuse with low #milksupply. Although it is possible, it is actually pretty rare. There are several other factors that can explain the challenges moms face during breastfeeding, all of which are normal. Before you give up on breastfeeding, make sure to educate yourself on these several fixable issues. {Click 🔗 in bio to read what you can do!}⁠
📸: @yoli_and_otis⁣⁠
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#breastfed #motherhood #momlife #postpartum #nursing #momtobe #normalizebreastfeeding #newmom #mumlife #newbaby #breastpump #breastfeedingfact #motherhoodthroughinstagram #mommylife #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #mommychick #babychick⁣ #lactationconsultant #breastmilk
So true ❤️⁠ 📷: @car_buettner⁠ .⁠ #mot So true ❤️⁠
📷: @car_buettner⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #boymom #vday #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #valentinesday
And the quickest way, partners, to get murdered. 🔪🔪🔪😤⁠
(quote via @fruitsofmotherhood)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
👶 Baby Names for 2020 👶⁠ .⁠ We're sharin 👶 Baby Names for 2020 👶⁠
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We're sharing the top baby names of 2019 and what baby names we think are going to climb the charts in 2020! {Click 🔗 in bio to find out more!}⁠
📷 : @paigemolinaphoto⁠
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#newborn #newbaby #newbornphotography #babynames  #namingbaby #babynameoftheday #namesforgirls #namesforboys #girlnames #boynames #namehelp #popularbabynames #babyname  #baby #newbornphotographer #babygirl #momlife #motherhood #babyphotographer #newbornphotos #newbornbaby #infant #babylove #newbornposing #babiesofinstagram #newbornsession #newmom #babyphotos #newbornpictures #mommychick
It looks like a murder scene up in here. 😦🍝👶🤦‍♀️⁠
📷: @alrightmom⁠
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#dinnertime #spaghettinight #motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
💜 How to Show Love to Your Partner in Labor 💜⁠
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Giving birth is a labor of love—with extra emphasis on the hard work behind the word "labor". It’s a time where anything goes, the best laid plans can be instantly reversed, and no one minds if a few swear words slip out now and then. The end result of a new baby in arms isn’t the only showcase of love, however. Oftentimes, the love shown between the partners is just as tear-jerking as the birth of the baby.⁠
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How can partners create a positive birth environment by bringing a little love into things? Here are some ways each partner can show love to the other during labor. {Click 🔗 in bio to read more!}⁠
📸: @taprootdoula⁠
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#birth #childbirth #laboroflove #pregnancy #motherhood #pregnant #babybump #birthwithoutfear #momlife #mumlife #empower #prenatal #naturalbirth #hospitalbirth #birthisbeautiful #homebirth #birthcenterbirth #birthphotographer #birthphotography #birthbecomesher #birthwithconfidence #laboranddelivery #motherhoodrising #positivebirth #birthmatters #love #mommychick #babychick
Sorry, kiddo. It looks like it’s gone. 🤷‍♀️😈⁠
📷: @stonecolddaddy⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
It's a very real struggle that many mothers go thr It's a very real struggle that many mothers go through.⁠ 😔⁠
(quote via @psychedmommy)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
❤️ How Giving Birth Made Me Love My Body ❤️⁠
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The act of giving birth is far from easy, especially, as a first-time mom. You've spent 9 months watching your body go through changes, some of which you probably never anticipated! All leading you to the one BIG day, the day you give birth to your beautiful baby. If there's one thing I learned through the act of birth, it showed me a new appreciation and love for my body.⁠ {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading}⁠
📷: @katie_newnham⁠
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#birth #thisispostpartum #postpartum #postpartumlife #selflove #honestlymothering #motherhoodunplugged  #motherhood #mothering #momlife #newmom #4thtrimester #fourthtrimester #postnatal #babychick #mommychick #motherhoodthroughinstagram #mumlife #mommylife #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣
Say it lower for the people in the back!! 🗣️🔈⁠
.⁠
MOTHERHOOD IS NOT A COMPETITION. So stop making it one! It isn't a race to have the smartest kids or the cleanest house. (Seriously, when is the last time you even noticed someone's clean or dirty baseboards? 🤷‍♀️) Motherhood is a JOURNEY. And guess what? We're all on it and we all are just trying to accomplish the same thing. To raise happy, healthy humans that love us even half as much as we love them.⁠
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So, you want to make all of those cute Pinterest crafts? Seriously, HAVE AT IT. You rock!⁠
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You're the least crafty person alive and don't even bother trying? You rock too!⁠
.⁠
You breastfed your kid until they were 5? AMAZING!⁠
.⁠
You somehow managed to budget in formula (seriously, is that stuff made of freaking ground up diamonds?) and a billion bottles for your baby to make sure they were still healthy and had a fully belly? YOU GO MAMA!⁠
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You don't have to agree with everything another mom does, but I think it would do us some good to remember that we're all just trying our best. We're all in this together. Momming is hard. So let's not make it harder by judging each other and comparing apples and oranges. 🍎🍊⁠
Words & 📷: @raisinglittleliebes⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #mommychick #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
The perfect combination of #selfcare and female he The perfect combination of #selfcare and female health education via @moodymonth 💅 nails by @ohriginails⁠
Design inspired by @duvet_days⁠
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#manicure #nails #beauty #nailart #nailpolish #nailswag #instanails #mani #nailstagram #nailsoftheday #nailsofinstagram #nails2inspire #naildesign #nailfashion #nailartaddict #nailaddict #uterus #femalehealth #womenshealth #feminist #wearewomen #gynecology #cuterus #menstruation #sexualhealth #sexeducation #ovaries #health #mommychick
🤣🤣🤣🤣⁠
📷: @pinkieandthebeard⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Please tell me I'm not the only one. 🙈😂⁠ ( Please tell me I'm not the only one. 🙈😂⁠
(quote via @wivesnightin)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Just to let you know. 😘⁠ 📷: @prefacingmoth Just to let you know. 😘⁠
📷: @prefacingmotherhood⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momtribe #mommychick #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #honestlymothering #mothering #newmom
November babies unite! ❤️ (Yes, I was born in November babies unite! ❤️ (Yes, I was born in November!😂) ⁠
📷: @lifeforeverchanged⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #valentinesday #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #novemberbabies #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick #pregnancy #valentinebabies
To everyone feeling alone, scared, unsafe, unsure, To everyone feeling alone, scared, unsafe, unsure, without hope . . . hang on. Hang on. You are loved and you are not alone. Been there, hold on. Love and Light to all. ❤️⁠
Words & 📷: @gabunion⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
What the cover should really look like. 😂⁠
📷: unknown (DM for credit!)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick #toddlerlife #childhoodunplugged #parenting #toddlers #instatoddler
🤰 What You Need to Know About Implantation Blee 🤰 What You Need to Know About Implantation Bleeding 🤰⁠
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When you and your partner are #tryingtoconceive, bleeding is typically the last thing you want to see. However, sometimes its actually a good sign that you may be #pregnant! It’s called implantation bleeding, and can occur approximately 6-8 days after #ovulation. Of course, most women who experience #implantationbleeding feel concerned that there is any bleeding at all! So, here are some common questions, and answers, to help you feel more aware and informed about implantation bleeding. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!}⁠
📷: @mosiebaby⁠
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#ttc #ttcjourney #fertility #pregnancy #ttcsupport #ivf #fertilityawareness #fertilewindow #womenshealth #ovulating #expecting #pregnantlife #inspirepregnancy #babychick #mommychick
Easy now. 💣👶😨⁠🤫⁠ 📷: @alrightmom Easy now. 💣👶😨⁠🤫⁠
📷: @alrightmom⁠
.⁠
#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Sometimes, the combination of busy or boring days, Sometimes, the combination of busy or boring days, lack of sleep, tasks and demands that require 24/7 attention or worry, can combine to put you at risk for blowing up at your partner in utter despair.⁠
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While asking for help is imperative, so is knowing the difference between, "can you come here when you get a second?" and "COME HERE NOW." Discuss this with your partner so you can come up with a code word or phrase that can let each other know that you sense you are reaching a breaking point. Do your best to identify when you feel you are starting to lose patience, or energy, or control. #speakthesecret⁠
.⁠
Comic from book #goodmomshavescarythoughts @familiustalk @brooklyn_rabbit⁠
Words via @postpartumstress⁠
.⁠
#thisispostpartum #postpartum #postpartumlife #postpartumcare #postpartumcareplan #selflove #dailyparenting #honestlymothering #motherhoodunplugged #youarenotalone #motherhood #mothering #momlife #newmom #4thtrimester #fourthtrimester #postnatal #babychick #mommychick #motherhoodthroughinstagram #mumlife #mommylife #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣
Yes. It. Is. 👏🔋👋⁠ (quote via @fruitsofm Yes. It. Is. 👏🔋👋⁠
(quote via @fruitsofmotherhood)⁠
.⁠
#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
❤️ A Guided Day of Practicing Self-Care: 7 Ste ❤️ A Guided Day of Practicing Self-Care: 7 Steps to Mindful Self-Love ❤️⁠
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As a busy parent, I know it's hard to find time to relax or learn more about practicing self-care techniques. However, as a wife, mother, and educator myself, I have found the practice of #selfcare to be an essential part of living a #healthy life. Taking the time to learn how to do it, and incorporate those practices, has made an enormous impact in my life.⁠
.⁠
The practice of #mindfulness has taught me how to slow down and become more aware of what I am doing and how I am feeling in any given moment. This in turn lends itself to carving out more time for self-care, because I’m able to see how busy I’ve become, where I need to make adjustments, and how important it is for me to take a break from mothering my children.⁠
.⁠
#Mindful living can reap benefits that range from better night's sleeps to reduced anxiety to lowered blood pressure to healthier and happier relationships with others. {Click 🔗 in bio for seven steps that will guide you through a day of loving self care.⁠}
📷: unknown⠀⁠
.
#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
"5 years, 3 failed IUIs, 2 abdominal surgeries, 3 "5 years, 3 failed IUIs, 2 abdominal surgeries, 3 miscarriages, failed retrievals, transfer & pregnancies, a multitude of ultrasounds & blood work, 681 needles, countless pills, & endless flow of tears, & the result was our 'perfect' embryo.⁠
The journey to this moment was not easy. I didn't want to talk about what I was going through. It was easier to open up to a stranger than to some friends or family. Women don't talk about their #fertilitystruggles. We are almost embarrassed or ashamed to say the word #miscarriage. Do we think we are broken? Are you less of a woman if you are not a #mother?⁠
The more I opened up about my story, the more I met other women who were #tryingtoconceive or had lost a little #miracle growing inside of them. Each family had their own path, some were going to keep trying, some were going to try #IVF, some trying to adopt, some will end up being awesome Aunts or amazing stepmothers or great FurParents.⁠
If you ever get the change to talk to any of these courageous women remember not to judge their journey. Listen to their worries and fears & DO NOT tell her to 'just relax, when you aren't thinking about it, it will happen.' Know that you are in the presence of a #warrior!⁠
Thank you to my friends & family that respected our process & were there for us. Thank you to my doctors & nurses, to my acupuncturist & friend who put me on a list of herbs that I can't even pronounce, that changed everything. Most importantly thank you to my husband, Mike. Thank you for being by my side & coming to every single doctors visit. Thank you for considering your life with me & the possibility of not having kids in it & assuring me that I was #enough. Thank you for being my nurse, getting me Wonder Women band-aids & for being someone who couldn't watch me get a shot, to giving them to me every day for months on end. Thank you for being you, my strong & positive rock!⁠
So to all the women I've met along the way or to those that cry silently in the bathroom staring at those failed #pregnancy tests, know that you are not broken, you are no less of a woman if you are not a mother & most importantly you ARE NOT ALONE. I am with you." ❤️⁠
Words & 📷: @anirbas
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