21 Essential Life Skills to Teach Your Kids

Parenting is the real deal. These tiny people come into our lives, and we must ensure they feel safe, loved, and confident. We must teach them life skills like wiping their butts, using manners, and navigating friendships, sometimes all before breakfast. I believe this motherhood gig is the biggest, most important thing I’ll ever do, but it can seem overwhelming.

Sometimes, a handy list can help parents who feel like they are drowning get a big gulp of air. (It does for me, at least.) So, here are 21 important life skills to teach your children, and if it seems like a lot, don’t worry. You’re probably already doing most of them!

Essential Life Skills to Teach Your Kids

You don’t have to tackle all 21 at once. Start with a skill your child is ready to practice, show them how, and help as needed. Adapt the task to their age and abilities, especially when heat, sharp tools, or cleaning products are involved.

1. How to Listen and Join a Conversation

Putting down a phone or pausing a game can make room for a conversation. Help kids practice listening, taking turns, and responding to what someone says. They don’t have to make eye contact to show they’re paying attention; for some children, eye contact is uncomfortable.¹

2. How to Shake Hands

Okay, maybe not when they’re three, but as they grow up and start doing “big kid” things, someone will at some point say, “Nice to meet you,” and put out their hand for a shake. You can practice a handshake together, but a friendly hello or wave is another way to greet someone if they don’t want physical contact.

3. How to Use Their Voice

Whether to assert themselves and ask for a raise they deserve or order food at a restaurant, we need to ensure our kids know how to make themselves seen and heard in this busy world.

4. How to Work as a Team

Your child will likely have to work with others in some capacity as they move through life, so you must teach them this valuable life skill. Working as a team means pulling their weight, speaking up with maturity and respect when a team member is unfair, and supporting one another.

5. How to Apologize

Nobody gets through this life without messing up. And sometimes those mistakes are big ones. Our children must know the importance of owning their mishaps, apologizing, and making amends.

6. How to Say Thank You

Some parents still insist on handwritten thank-you notes. We aren’t as focused on that in our home, but we ensure that our children express gratitude in many ways. They say “thank you” (and mean it!) when someone gives them a gift or does something kind for them. They might call or FaceTime Grandma to say thank you for a new board game or LEGO set, and they might even invite the person who sent them that awesome new board game over to play it.

There are endless ways to express gratitude, so if you raise grateful kids who know how to show appreciation, you’re doing wonderfully.

Related: Important Manners to Teach Kids (and How To Do It)

7. How to Cook

They don’t need to be sous chefs competing on Food Network to get through life (unless they want to, in which case I say shoot for the stars), but kids should know basic cooking skills as they mature into adolescence and adulthood, like boiling pasta, frying an egg, and making a sandwich. At some point, they will get hungry, and no one will be around to make something for them. So, it’s on us to ensure they can fill their bellies.

8. How to Safely Use a Knife

Start with a table knife and a soft food, such as a banana, while you supervise. Show your child how to use a stable cutting board and keep fingers away from the blade. Introduce sharper tools only when they’re ready and with close supervision. Store sharp knives out of reach of younger children.²

9. Memorize a Few Key Phone Numbers

Remember when we were kids, no one had cell phones, and we had to memorize things like phone numbers? What happens if your child loses their phone and needs to call you? Do they know your phone number? Another parent’s number? A close friend’s? Grandma’s?

10. How to Share Important Information in an Emergency

Along those same lines, help your child learn their full name, home address, and a parent or caregiver’s name. Practice sharing those details with you pretending to be an emergency dispatcher or another trusted adult helping them. If remembering or communicating the information is difficult, a contact card can help.

11. What to Do in Case of an Emergency

As well as knowing all the information above, do your kids know how to dial 911? Have you reviewed the emergency safety plan? Do they know what to do if there is a fire? Practice your fire escape plan together, including going to a family meeting place outside. Teach kids to get out, stay out, and call 911 or the local emergency number from a safe place.³

12. How to Be Safe on the Internet

Make sure your children understand the risks of internet usage, know never to give out their personal information, never share pictures with strangers, and always tell a grown-up if something doesn’t feel right.

As they get older and start texting and using social media, remind them that messages, photos, and videos can be saved or shared, even after they delete them. Encourage them to pause before posting or sending something.

13. How to Do Laundry

You can do this one in stages. Young toddlers can bring you their dirty clothes and put clean clothes away. Older kids can do more, like run the machine, add the soap, transfer wet clothes to the dryer, etc. But yeah, they’re not going to live with you forever, so at some point, they need to know how to do this arduous chore. Keep detergent and other cleaning products stored out of children’s reach, and supervise their use.⁴

Related: Chores for Kids by Age: Toddlers to Teens

14. How to Clean the Kitchen

There’s more to cleaning the kitchen than putting clean dishes away. Someday, our children will have their own kitchens. Do they know how to load the dishwasher? Do they understand that some items need to be hand-washed? Or that they need to sanitize the sink? How about how to wipe down the stove, floor, and cabinets? Involve them in the steps they can safely manage.

15. How to Vacuum and Dust

Kids should also learn other basic cleaning skills, like vacuuming and dusting. Sure, it’s great if they put their toys away, but then the deep cleaning begins, and they should be a part of that, too.

16. How to Scrub a Toilet

Sure, it may not be their favorite chore (newsflash, kids, it’s no one’s favorite chore), but it needs to be done. Their future roommates will appreciate it.

17. How to Get Their Body Clean

Speaking of cleaning, ensure your kids know what to do once they transition from baths to showers. Get soap in ALL the nooks and crannies, kids! Show them how to wash and care for their hair. Brush teeth twice a day for two minutes with fluoride toothpaste, and clean between teeth daily, with help as needed.⁵ And don’t forget hand washing: get those bubbles between your fingers.

18. How to Manage Money

Start small with money from an allowance, a gift, or a paid task, and help them set some aside for something they want. Saving toward a goal gives them practice deciding what to spend now and what to save for later. Plus, this teaches them why we grumble when they leave the lights on or the door open. Someone must pay the heating and electric bill, and guess what? That will be you someday, kids.

19. How to Care for Another Living Thing

Whether it’s their pet turtle, a puppy, a younger sibling, or even an aging grandparent, the act and responsibility of caring for another living thing is an invaluable life skill. Give them manageable ways to help, such as filling a pet’s water bowl or reading with a younger sibling, while an adult remains responsible for the care. Kids will learn compassion and how precious life is, and forge a bond they can only form with caring and love.

Related: The Pros and Cons of Raising Kids with a Family Pet

20. How to Take Care of Themselves

Drink water. Eat a vegetable. Get some fresh air and sunlight. Sleep. We can teach our children a few basics to help their physical and mental health. Practice these routines together and keep helping as they learn to manage more on their own.

21. How to Say Goodbye

Sometimes, this one is forced upon us, like when a family member dies or a pet dies. Or when your child’s best friend moves to another state. Our hearts break when our kids’ hearts break, but saying goodbye is a part of life. It is our job to teach our kids how to grieve, that they are allowed to feel all the feelings, and to remind them that it won’t always hurt this much.

We’ll get some things right and others wrong as we teach our kids, and they’ll need plenty of chances to practice. Someday, they might invite us to their grown-up apartment and serve toast for dinner. We’ll eat it with gratitude and say, “I’m proud of the person you’ve become.”