5 Ways You May Change as a Mom through the Years

A close-up of young mother with her toddler girl on the beach.

5 Ways You May Change as a Mom through the Years

Someone once said to be strict about your goals, but flexible with your methods. No matter how this line makes you feel, it seems that people who adapt and change based on new information seem to be happier. When I was young, I thought adults grew up and became who they were going to be by around the age of 21 or so. Mature and complete. With no turning back. After all, that is what growing up meant, right? Now I laugh when I think of that. Because I now know that the human brain doesn’t even stop growing until around the age of 25. But the mom brain? Well it grows well past that time, and you will likely change as a mom through the years. Or at least that is what my experience and observation has led me to believe. And when I say grows, not necessarily in size, but in wisdom and the methods that come from the day to day experiences of mom life. I can think of three major ways I have changed (for the better – I believe) in the last five years as a mom.

Today’s article is your permission (you’re welcome) to let go of the fear of change and embrace the changes that may lead to more joy in motherhood. Here are five ways you may change as a mom through the years.

5 Ways You May Change as a Mom

Your opinions about the size of your family may change. You may want to start big. And decide to go small. Or vice versa.

I never saw myself having four children. But guess what? I have four sons. And now that number seems completely natural. I remember looking at families of four when I was little and thinking they were a special breed of crazy. But now that that special breed of crazy is my life, it seems normal. I can’t imagine only having two kids. Vice versa – there are many people who start out wanting four or five kids and decide that even one child seems like enough. Every set of parents gets the right to determine what number seems right for their family based on their experience and hearts. There is no magic number. Only the right number for YOU.

Your parenting methods may change. You may become more strict. You may become more lenient.

It’s easy to know your parenting style before having kids. Or know your “permanent” parenting style after you have your first child. Am I right? But it seems that more often than not, second children can present different needs and behaviors that cause parents to doubt their previous methods. They wonder, “Do we stick to what worked for our first? Or do we try something different since that method isn’t working?” For the lucky few, the same parenting method works for every child. But for the most part, parenting methods and discipline methods have to adapt based on the needs of the child you are working with. It doesn’t mean you’re a weak parent if one child sleeps in bed with you and one doesn’t. Instead, it may mean that one child needs physical affection to feel loved and the other needs quality time. Or it may mean that you realized you can’t survive with four children in your bed. Different needs present different methods. It’s okay to parent differently.

Your diet and cooking methods may change as a mom. You may become more lax in your standards of good food. You may become the cleanest eater on the block.

Maybe you were a gourmet chef before you had children and find that the only time the word gourmet is used in your house nowadays is when Mr. Gourmet Nugget is served on a plate with ketchup. Because you no longer find it rewarding to spend hours cooking only to end up making a peanut butter sandwich for your children. Or . . . you may find that before having children you stopped for lunch at a convenience store on your way to the office and now after having babies, you have a passion to only feed their bodies organic, grass fed fuel. Both of these changes are adaptive based on the unique needs of a mom for her children. Don’t judge yourself either way.

Your desire to work may change as a mom. You may want to stay home. You may feel the need to be in the work force.

It’s funny how moms that work often whisper when they say, “I just didn’t enjoy staying at home.” As if saying that is the same as admitting that you do not like your children — which is completely false! Realizing that your brain and heart does better with different challenges than figuring out how to convince a toddler they don’t want to tantrum over a cup doesn’t make you bad. It just makes you, you. Vice versa, I was the girl who said I would NEVER stay at home with her children because I didn’t believe in women who do not set the example of a mom who works. And guess what? I haven’t worked outside of the home for the last five years! It’s okay to change based on your needs. You do you.

Your belief about extracurricular activities may change. You may spend your life on the ball field. You may decide extracurriculars are not your way of life.

Before moving to Texas, I was warned about the “crazy, Texas” sports parents. I was scared of them and their commitment to their children’s sports. I may have even said, “I would NEVER put my children in a sport that goes year round.” Guess what? My sons swim 12 months out of the year. And do you know why that works for us? Well, we realized we do better with a consistent schedule and energy exertion. But guess what? I also have friends who have dropped out of competitive sports because it causes their family too much stress. To each their own. Never say never, either way.

Cheers to changing for the better, mama, and to changing again when the time calls!

About the Author /

Quinn is a wife, boy mom (x’s 4), blogger at Sanctification and Spitup, host of the Renew You Podcast and licensed marriage and family therapist. She loves to encourage others in relationships through her speaking, writing or podcast episodes.

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You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ 💕⁠
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When I had my first baby, everyone told me to enjoy the newborn stage because it goes fast, and I would miss it. But I was so exhausted and overwhelmed I didn’t believe them. 😴 While I was living through it, it felt like it took forever!⁠
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If you are there now or about to enter this stage, it’s a yummy, delicious, snuggly stage. But for me, it has always been one of the harder ones, every time I go through it. So I see and feel you, mama! It’s physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. Hold tight, though, because it doesn’t last forever.⁠
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Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠ by @chroni Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠
by @chroniclesofdaddy⁠
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I've been asked so many questions by men about fatherhood. So I figured I'd drop some knowledge on my fellow Dads and soon-to-be-Dads. Here's what it looks like for the first few weeks or months after your child is born. Yup. If mom breastfeeds they pretty much are tucked like this and at times you'll wonder "what is there for me to do?" Here are my top 5 tips for any Dad after your child is born.⁠
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1️⃣ For night feedings. When mom wakes up in the middle of the night, you get up and ask if she needs any help or water. The truth is most of the time she will say no but just the fact that you offered will go far.⁠
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2️⃣ Ask mom if she can pump and then pick 1 feeding that you will always do. Mom will take on almost everything and will burn herself out if you let her. At times you may have to force her to rest without worrying about the baby. This is an easy way to do that without a fight.⁠
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3️⃣ Don't put a time limit on how long mom breastfeeds the baby. It's not just about feeding your child it's about them bonding as well. I know everyone has a different length of time they will breastfeed and as a Dad, it's hard to fully understand. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try and rush this process. It's not our place and it's not safe. You will open yourself up to a fight you can't win.⁠
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4️⃣ Be patient. I know as a Dad the first few weeks we are equally excited and yet not as important. Your time will come faster than you know. Babies grow fast and the stronger and bigger they get the more Daddy Time will be coming your way.⁠
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5️⃣ Paternity leave! If you have it TAKE IT. The early stages of a child's life are not just for moms to enjoy. I know as men making the money especially after having a baby it's hard, but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn't make you more of a man to not take the leave. It's equally as important that you as a Dad get to be a part of the early development of your child. ⁠
If someone needs this info tag them ❤️⁠
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Absolutely love these tips from @chroniclesofdaddy. 🙌
7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body 7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body After Baby 🧘‍♀️⁠
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The postpartum period, or period of recovery that takes place after a mother gives birth, is an important time for mothers to take care of themselves. 🥰 Typically, if you’re less than 6 weeks postpartum you don’t want to put any pressure on your core muscles. Also, your body’s levels of relaxin, the hormone that loosens joints to prepare for childbirth, is elevated for 3-6 months after childbirth, and longer if you are breastfeeding. All this means is: take these postpartum yoga poses slowly and stretch yourself gently. No gymnastics here or pushing beyond what is comfortable.⁠
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