5 Ways You May Change as a Mom through the Years

A close-up of young mother with her toddler girl on the beach.

5 Ways You May Change as a Mom through the Years

Someone once said to be strict about your goals, but flexible with your methods. No matter how this line makes you feel, it seems that people who adapt and change based on new information seem to be happier. When I was young, I thought adults grew up and became who they were going to be by around the age of 21 or so. Mature and complete. With no turning back. After all, that is what growing up meant, right? Now I laugh when I think of that. Because I now know that the human brain doesn’t even stop growing until around the age of 25. But the mom brain? Well it grows well past that time, and you will likely change as a mom through the years. Or at least that is what my experience and observation has led me to believe. And when I say grows, not necessarily in size, but in wisdom and the methods that come from the day to day experiences of mom life. I can think of three major ways I have changed (for the better – I believe) in the last five years as a mom.

Today’s article is your permission (you’re welcome) to let go of the fear of change and embrace the changes that may lead to more joy in motherhood. Here are five ways you may change as a mom through the years.

5 Ways You May Change as a Mom

Your opinions about the size of your family may change. You may want to start big. And decide to go small. Or vice versa.

I never saw myself having four children. But guess what? I have four sons. And now that number seems completely natural. I remember looking at families of four when I was little and thinking they were a special breed of crazy. But now that that special breed of crazy is my life, it seems normal. I can’t imagine only having two kids. Vice versa – there are many people who start out wanting four or five kids and decide that even one child seems like enough. Every set of parents gets the right to determine what number seems right for their family based on their experience and hearts. There is no magic number. Only the right number for YOU.

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Your parenting methods may change. You may become more strict. You may become more lenient.

It’s easy to know your parenting style before having kids. Or know your “permanent” parenting style after you have your first child. Am I right? But it seems that more often than not, second children can present different needs and behaviors that cause parents to doubt their previous methods. They wonder, “Do we stick to what worked for our first? Or do we try something different since that method isn’t working?” For the lucky few, the same parenting method works for every child. But for the most part, parenting methods and discipline methods have to adapt based on the needs of the child you are working with. It doesn’t mean you’re a weak parent if one child sleeps in bed with you and one doesn’t. Instead, it may mean that one child needs physical affection to feel loved and the other needs quality time. Or it may mean that you realized you can’t survive with four children in your bed. Different needs present different methods. It’s okay to parent differently.

Your diet and cooking methods may change as a mom. You may become more lax in your standards of good food. You may become the cleanest eater on the block.

Maybe you were a gourmet chef before you had children and find that the only time the word gourmet is used in your house nowadays is when Mr. Gourmet Nugget is served on a plate with ketchup. Because you no longer find it rewarding to spend hours cooking only to end up making a peanut butter sandwich for your children. Or . . . you may find that before having children you stopped for lunch at a convenience store on your way to the office and now after having babies, you have a passion to only feed their bodies organic, grass fed fuel. Both of these changes are adaptive based on the unique needs of a mom for her children. Don’t judge yourself either way.

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Your desire to work may change as a mom. You may want to stay home. You may feel the need to be in the work force.

It’s funny how moms that work often whisper when they say, “I just didn’t enjoy staying at home.” As if saying that is the same as admitting that you do not like your children — which is completely false! Realizing that your brain and heart does better with different challenges than figuring out how to convince a toddler they don’t want to tantrum over a cup doesn’t make you bad. It just makes you, you. Vice versa, I was the girl who said I would NEVER stay at home with her children because I didn’t believe in women who do not set the example of a mom who works. And guess what? I haven’t worked outside of the home for the last five years! It’s okay to change based on your needs. You do you.

Your belief about extracurricular activities may change. You may spend your life on the ball field. You may decide extracurriculars are not your way of life.

Before moving to Texas, I was warned about the “crazy, Texas” sports parents. I was scared of them and their commitment to their children’s sports. I may have even said, “I would NEVER put my children in a sport that goes year round.” Guess what? My sons swim 12 months out of the year. And do you know why that works for us? Well, we realized we do better with a consistent schedule and energy exertion. But guess what? I also have friends who have dropped out of competitive sports because it causes their family too much stress. To each their own. Never say never, either way.

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Cheers to changing for the better, mama, and to changing again when the time calls!

About the Author /

Quinn is a wife, boy mom (x’s 4), blogger at Sanctification and Spitup, host of the Renew You Podcast and licensed marriage and family therapist. She loves to encourage others in relationships through her speaking, writing or podcast episodes.

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Instagram post 18004974676264288 Or try to open the door mid-pee⁠. 😑😑😑 Thanks, kid.⁠
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Instagram post 17852873872664390 Harvesting colostrum . . . look at all of that liquid gold!⁠ 😍 If your baby comes early or you are already lactating before baby arrives, it’s great to hand express into a teaspoon and gather what you’ve collected into a syringe. #breastfeedingtip
📷: @boo.b.ltd
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Instagram post 17893588471419368 ⁠Gosh, they can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. But then when they stop and look at you with those puppy dog eyes, you can’t help but scoop them up and love on them. They might be a pain in the ass but they are YOUR pain in the ass. 😂❤️ (From one mother of a strong-willed--read exhausting and opinionated--kid to another!)⁠
📷: @humorandwine⁠
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Instagram post 17899717765403522 ❤️ How to Help When Visiting a New Mom – Podcast Ep 21 ❤️⁠
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Becoming a new mother, whether it be your first baby or your sixth, is filled with so many emotions. 🎢 Figuring out your new normal can take a minute as you recover from giving birth and get to know your new baby. People will be at your doorstep in no time wanting to congratulate you and meet your baby, but sometimes people aren't necessarily thinking about what they can do for YOU to be helpful. If you know someone who has recently had a baby or if you are currently expecting, today’s podcast episode is for you! ❤️ {Link in bio!}⁠
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This episode is brought to you by @skylightframe. It's a digital picture frame that has a touch-screen display that documents all of your family’s special moments—a great gift for yourself or for an expecting or new mom. If you want to bring a nice gift when visiting a new mom, be sure to check out Skylight Frame and use our discount code BABYCHICK for $10 off your order! #ad #skylightframe⁠
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Instagram post 17920976449353517 💪 Mom Hacks for Staying Fit After Having Kids⁠
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Going to keep it real here, your fitness game is going to change after having kids. If you were crushing it before having babies, you're going to find that the free time for working out isn't what is used to be.⁠
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Regardless of where you were at, there are things you can do to make your heath a priority and be a good example to your little ones.⁠
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1. Don't rush back. There's no gold star here. Take your time, get the clearance from your OB/midwife and start when you're ready.⁠
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2. Schedule your workouts. Like most things in life now, you're on a schedule. Create time in your new life for you -- you'll thank yourself later.⁠
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3. Ask for Help. Chances are high that the Mom down the street is looking for some kid free time as well. You take an hour, she takes an hour and we're all better off for it.⁠
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4.  Embrace the little things. Your day will present opportunities to get your butt moving. Find them.⁠
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5. Get a new outfit. Because, duh.⁠
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6. Join a fitness community. It's scientifically proven that external motivators work when it comes to starting and sticking with a fitness routine. Utilize your community for support and motivation.⁠
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Words & 📸 : @juna.moms⁠
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I’ve got my whole wide world in my hands
I’ve got my whole world in my hands
I’ve got my whole world in my hands 🎵
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When you meet your baby(ies) and your whole world changes. 💕
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Instagram post 18110828746014338 The first year after baby is the leading time when marriages break up. The extra stress, lack of sleep, and major life changes can all contribute to communication breakdown and losing intimacy. 💔 That's why protecting relationships is such an important part of postpartum planning (done in pregnancy). Parenthood is an emotionally provocative experience. These heightened emotions help you tune into your baby's needs, but it can also help you tune into each other.⁠
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Speak your partner's love language in postpartum. Send this resource to your loved one so that they can make you feel loved and supported in a meaningful way.⁠
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Instagram post 17934950050319412 EXACTLY! 🙌 I wish more moms knew this and didn't feel pressured to say yes automatically to guests--of course, unless they want to! 😊 But you can always say no and not right now. Take your time to bond with your new baby. If you want people to come over, great! But don't feel bad if you don't and want more time alone with your family. People who love you should understand. ❤️⁠
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Instagram post 17857907638591275 Dinner time with toddlers can oftentimes be hectic and stressful. Sometimes they’ll eat what you’ve made them and other times they won’t. 😒 We’ve been there! This is why we are sharing two yummy dinner recipes that have been toddler approved that the whole family can enjoy—Taco Pizza and Stuffed Sweet Potatoes! 😋
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We substituted sour cream in these recipes with @stonyfield YoBaby yogurt because it provides not only the calcium they need, but also probiotics, protein and vitamin D! 👍 (Our pediatrician says our little guy needs 2-4 servings of dairy per day!) The yogurt still has that tangy flavor that you’re looking for but with even more benefits! Cheers to full tummies and happy families! 🙌 #ad #stonyfield
📹: @trippfilms
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