5 Benefits of Having an Only Child

5 Benefits of Having an Only Child | Baby Chick

5 Benefits of Having an Only Child

I’ll never forget the time I was young and someone asked how many children I wanted one day. I always wanted at least three or four kids. Then I heard a close friend answer that same question with, “One.” Surprised and curious by her answer, I asked her, “What makes you want only one?” And her answer dealt with being an only child herself. She loved being the one and only. To her, it was perfect. So why would she want to have more than one?

Fast forward 15 years, and I have many friends that have only one kid. And research says that one in five Americans have only one child, which means this family type is becoming more and more common versus the days when big families were the norm.

Of course it’s important to remember there are many reasons a family may have one and only. Some parents intentionally choose to have just one. But other parents deal with infertility, and their child is the only child they were able to have. Other times broken relationships cause children to become onlies despite a person’s desire to have more. And sometimes marriages that happen later in life with older mothers, another growing trend, also produce an only. But no matter the reason behind it, one thing is for sure, there are many only kids walking the earth.

Why the bad rap?

Sadly, there has long been a stigma attached to having (or being) an only child. In fact, in 1896, one of the most well-known American psychologists named G. Stanley Hall, referred to being an only as a “disease in itself.” From that time, only children have often received a bad rap for being selfish and bossy. Or for being unable to mix well with others, or trapped in a lonely world.

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However, in the 1970’s only child Toni Falbo, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas, and her colleague Denise Polit, examined more than a hundred studies done on only kids since the 1920’s. And their research disproved the negative stigma put on only children. In fact, they discovered some areas in which only children had more success than children with siblings. They also concluded that in the majority of ways, onlies are indistinguishable from children with siblings.

High Achievers

While research indicates onlies score slightly higher on academic tests than children with siblings, it does show only kids tend to be higher achievers. This is likely due to the benefit that their parents can focus all their attention and finances on helping that child excel. Some great examples of famous high-achieving onlies include: Condoleeza Rice, Leonardo DaVinci, Alan Greenspan, Mahatama Gandhi and Danielle Steel.

Only child

Balanced Self-esteem

It turns out that while being the center of your parents’ attention can at times be a little much for some children, it also has wonderful benefits. Feeling the constant love from your parents has proven to show that onlies have strong self esteem, but not necessarily over-inflated. Oldest children tend to have the highest self-esteem because they can compare themselves to younger siblings. Youngest children tend to have the lowest because of their comparison to older siblings. Only children tend to fall in the middle. Instead of getting their self-value from comparing themselves to their siblings, they seem to have a realistic sense of their capabilities not built on comparisons to others but accurate self-awareness.

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Only child

Independent

It’s a misconception that only children are lonelier. While it is true that at times only children might ask for a brother or sister because they desire a playmate, this does not always translate into a permanent state of loneliness. In fact, research suggests that only children may be alone more, but become more independent because they know how to do better with their time alone — which is clearly a positive attribute in life.

Only child

Social

Only children may not have siblings to interact with at home, but research indicates they are no less social than children with peers after the age of Kindergarten. Who knows? Their lack of siblings at home may give them an extra desire to connect more!? As one researcher indicated, you cannot determine if you are sitting next to an only kid on a plane—their traits don’t stand out.

Benefits for Mom

In a studystudy done through the University of Pennsylvania by Hans-Peter Kohler where 5,000 sets of twins were interviewed, the researchers found that of those women who had children, the happiest ones were those who had just one child. Many moms are made to feel selfish or guilty for stopping at one, or enjoying having the flexibility that comes from only having one child to focus on. However, if it translates into more happiness, why should a mother feel guilty?

In summary, there is no perfect number for all families. Some families are big. Some are small. And only you know what is right for you. And for many families, the right choice is one. So if you’re wondering if it’s okay to only want one? The answer is YES! Enjoy your little ONE!

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About the Author /

Quinn is a wife, boy mom (x’s 4), blogger at Sanctification and Spitup, host of the Renew You Podcast and licensed marriage and family therapist. She loves to encourage others in relationships through her speaking, writing or podcast episodes.

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Instagram post 18074272528164523 @debiandbebi wrote these words when she was a new mom and struggled with #postpartumdepression. She hopes to remind everyone that it is okay to struggle with being a new mom and that does not mean you don't love your baby. ❤️⁠
(quote by @debiandbebi)⁠
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Instagram post 17862171103601373 All of these things make me happy. What would you add to your self care toolbox?⁠
I'm seriously needing some of these things tonight to start a new week. Hoping you mamas get some self care time too! 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 18081610903134401 Praying that your toddler let's you get to sleep this weekend. 🙏💤⁠
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(quote: @mommywinetime)⁠
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Instagram post 17853200368708392 SURPRISE! A little shocked, a little tired, and a LOT BLESSED. Congrats, @sarah_lit! ❤️⁠
📷: @sarah_lit⁠
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Instagram post 17864808397574241 Pregnant and hungry all the time? Here are some great ideas to keep in the fridge when the hunger pains kick in! 🤰👍⁠
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Instagram post 18073051357163780 When it comes to clamping the cord, our mottos is "what's the rush?" The blood volume in the placenta and cord at the time of birth is BABY'S blood. It's simply mid-circulation in the placenta at the time of birth. It just makes sense to leave it be and let it finish its job.⁠
No, the blood won't drain out of baby and go backwards into the placenta.⁠
No, your baby is not more likely to get sick from jaundice.⁠
Yes, your baby will still be getting oxygen while they figure out breathing, especially important if they need resuscitation.⁠
Yes, your baby will have better iron levels for the first year of their life.⁠
Look at how thick and engorged this cord still is at 4 and 18 minutes after baby was born. Just imagine how much blood baby would have lost if the cord had been clamped immediately, or at 60 seconds, 90 seconds, or 3 minutes! The placenta was expelled immediately before the 18 minute photo was taken. The pulse in the cord could still be felt even AFTER THE PLACENTA HAD BEEN DELIVERED! The cord was finally clamped and cut more than an hour after birth at 73 minutes. ❤️⁠
📷: @lawrenrosephotography⁠
Informative post and words by @bundleborn⁠
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Instagram post 17852665306696124 With the holiday season upon us and moms trying to make everything magical for their families, remember to stop and take a moment to take care of you. ❤️ Have a hot cup of coffee, a long warm shower and some alone time. Communicate this with your partner not as a wish but as a necessity. We must take the time to take care of ourselves to better take care of them. 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 18095239591099259 After holiday feasting . . . this baby gets me.⁠ 🤣
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Instagram post 17844162355818683 I think I had a little too much turkey . . . and pie. 😬🍗🥧 #leggingsforlife⁠
📷: @hallmarkbaby⁠
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Instagram post 17990835490280335 I totally felt this way when I was pregnant. And kinda feel this way after all that turkey. 🤣🦃 Happy turkey day to all you expecting mamas!!⁠
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Instagram post 18094211479105476 I spy with my little eye the cutest turkey ever. 😍 Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Hope it's filled with love, laughter, and cuteness like this. ❤️⁠
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Instagram post 17852562805720320 Loneliness is a real thing in new motherhood and I want to be sure we talk about this. It's okay to say, "I feel lonely." We normalize one another's experiences when we share the reality of our journey. It can be so isolating when we bring our small human home and our lives revolve around his/her care. We feel detached from the outside world. The monotony of new motherhood can be heavy.⁠
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Here are some tips to combat isolation:⁠
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1️⃣ Get outside when possible.⁠
2️⃣ Video chat with friends/family.⁠
3️⃣ Join a virtual group.⁠
4️⃣ Invite someone to come over.⁠
5️⃣ Find a local mom's group.⁠
6️⃣ Listen to the radio or a podcast (it's interesting how this can make us feel connected with others)⁠
7️⃣ Run an errand--even grabbing a coffee via drive-thru can feel good.⁠
8️⃣ Get to know your neighbors.⁠
What would you add to the list?⁠
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Repost: words and 📷 by @psychedmommy⁠
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Instagram post 17867282176536875 ⁠For the week of Thanksgiving (and longer if you can!) let's focus on what we DO have instead of what we lack. The more we express gratitude and appreciate our blessings the more we recognize all of our blessings and everything we should be thankful for. 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 17855722339639264 ✈️ Tips to Survive a Plane Ride with Kids ✈️⁠
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Flying on a plane with your little one for the first time can be terrifying. Are they going to cry the whole time? How will they handle the airport, the turbulence and the landing? Well we have some tips that will help prepare you for your flight with your kids. Here's what to do to have a more enjoyable experience 😊 {Link in bio!}⁠
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