One of my favorite parts of parenting is watching my husband play with and love our kids. They adore him now, ask for him when he’s not home, and climb all over him when he is. But when they were babies, bonding did not come easily. Even though he was present, engaged, and trying from day one, our babies often cried for me, leaving him feeling defeated and unsure of his place.
When our son was about three months old, I realized why. I had already nursed him about eight times a day since birth, which meant I had comforted and met his needs more than 700 times. Mommy was familiar, constant, and comforting in a way only I could be at that stage. That realization helped us shift our perspective. Daddy was just as important. We simply needed to find ways to help nurture their bond.
How To Nurture a Daddy-Baby Bond
Bonding can look different for every family, but small, intentional moments can help dads and babies build a strong connection over time.
1. Find Ways for Dad to Meet Baby’s Physical Needs
We found that when Daddy helped meet their physical needs, in addition to snuggling with them or playing with them, it really helped our babies bond with him. He started helping with one feeding each day while I pumped a bottle for the next. He would rock them to sleep, give them baths, change their diapers, and help feed them solid foods once they got big enough.
Related: Ways Dads Can Be Involved in Baby Care
2. Leave Dad and Baby Alone Together
When Daddy is taking care of the baby, I try to give them some space. This does not always mean leaving the house, although it can be a great chance to take a short break. Even stepping out of the room can help baby focus on Dad instead of defaulting to Mom, especially if I am nearby.
Sometimes, baby cries when I leave the room, but within a few minutes, Daddy is usually able to distract and comfort him. That time together gives them space to connect, play, and strengthen that Daddy-Baby bond.
3. Let Daddy Be the One to Save the Day
Our babies HATED the car seat when they were infants. After hearing them scream and cry in their car seats for an entire drive, you know my momma heart wanted to jump out of the car and rescue them the second we parked. But when Daddy was in the car with us, too, I refrained from jumping out of my seat and let Daddy be the one to save the day. He would get them out of their car seat and soothe them until all was right with the world again.
To this day, Daddy is the designated boo-boo kisser in our house. If one of our kids gets hurt and Daddy is home, they do not want Mommy to comfort them. They scream, “I want Daddy!” until he comes to kiss the boo-boo . . . and again, all is right with the world.
Related: 10 Things Every New Dad Needs To Know
4. Recognize and Celebrate What’s Unique
As your baby grows, you may notice special ways they connect with their dad. Sometimes, these things may not be immediately obvious, but keep your eyes open for them, and you’ll notice them.
For my daughter, I’ve learned that she is always much more secure when Daddy is home. My son is calmer and listens better when Daddy is home. Our baby loves it when Daddy sings to her.
When you find the special thing about your baby’s relationship with Daddy, look for opportunities to point it out to him. It will mean the world to him to know the unique ways that baby responds when he is around.
5. Remind Dad to Keep at It
Even if baby makes Daddy put in extra work to bond in these early months, the time and effort are very worth it. As baby gets bigger, their needs will change, and their bond with Daddy will grow. Our 5-year-old and 3-year-old cannot get enough of their dad now, and I know their Daddy-Baby bond will only continue to deepen as they get older.
I hope that by sharing what worked for our family, you feel encouraged to support your husband as he builds his own connection with your baby. The relationship between a father and child is incredibly special, and with time and patience, it only continues to grow.
