The first few weeks of becoming a dad can be both incredible and overwhelming. You’re there for every moment, wanting to help and be involved, but bonding with a newborn doesn’t always come naturally at first. Mothers have a unique connection through pregnancy and breastfeeding, and it can be hard to know where you fit in.
That doesn’t mean dads can’t play a meaningful role from day one. These are notes I took after my daughter Adley was born, based on what truly helped my wife and strengthened my confidence and connection as a new dad. With another baby on the way, they serve as reminders for me too.
13 Ways Dads Can Be Involved in Baby Care
Here are practical ways dads can support their partner, care for their baby, and feel more confident during the early days of parenthood.
1. Ask What Your Partner Needs Most
This may seem simple, but it can be easy to get overwhelmed by the craziness of childbirth and the aftermath. Your partner likely just went through a traumatic experience giving birth and will need time to recover. Ask what you can do to help her during that time. Sometimes, a new dad should take care of the baby for a couple of hours so she can take a nap. Other times, it means watching the older kids so she has time to bond with the new baby. Ensure your partner feels loved and supported, especially in those first few days.
Related: How Dads Can Help a New Mom
2. Communicate Clearly About Chores and Baby Care
One of the biggest hurdles new parents face is not communicating their wants and expectations. It’s an easy thing to set aside when you’re sleep-deprived and dealing with a completely new reality. Making sure you’re both on the same page leads to more understanding and a happier environment for everyone (baby included). A 2020 study on fathers’ involvement with newborns found that both parents were happier when things were communicated clearly and tasks distributed fairly, compared to leaving most of the work to the mother.1
3. Take Turns With Overnight Feedings
This is one I can’t recommend enough to dads. There can be pressure on mothers to handle all the overnight feedings, particularly if they are breastfeeding. However, it doesn’t have to be this way. When my daughter, Adley, was born in 2020, my wife and I would take turns with the nighttime feedings. I would give Adley a bottle of either breastmilk or formula when it was my turn. This not only allowed me to remove some of the burden from my wife but also allowed us to get a little more sleep. Five to six consecutive hours can make a big difference.
4. Get Out With Your Baby While They’re Portable
Speaking from experience, it can be easy to fall into the trap of keeping your baby indoors too much. It’s safe, everything you need is close by, and it’s predictable. But take advantage of your baby’s portability. Dads, if you need to run to the hardware store or see a friend, bring the baby with you! Exposing a baby to various environments is beneficial for their development. Plus, it’s much easier to do before they get too mobile.
5. Take Time Off From Work
Let me preface this by saying I know this won’t be an option for everyone. Only 11 states and the District of Columbia offer paid family leave, with the time varying from state to state.2 But if your job offers paternity leave, or you have vacation time saved up, TAKE IT! A 2019 study found that children whose fathers took at least two weeks off work felt a closer bond nine years later.3 This can also help establish a routine with your baby to make life easier for mom and dad.
6. Make Time for Fun With Your Baby
Those first few weeks involve learning your baby’s needs and finding a routine. Soon, you’ll start noticing them more awake and aware of what’s happening around them. While activities like skin-to-skin contact with your baby and dad are essential, don’t forget to take time to enjoy the fun moments too. Play peek-a-boo, make silly faces, and do tummy time. These moments, which you’ll never forget, will help create a stronger bond between you and your baby.
Related: Fun Ways To Engage and Play With Your Baby
7. Give Your Partner Breaks To Recharge
Giving birth is the equivalent of major surgery. But unlike major surgery, a tiny human comes home with you, and it’s your job to keep it alive. Between recovery and breastfeeding, your wife/partner will likely be drained physically and mentally. Offer to step in and help as much as you can. Take the baby for a walk in the neighborhood or offer to put the baby down for a nap. Even the smallest gestures can make a difference and lead to a happier and healthier partnership.
8. Learn How To Change a Diaper Early
Before my daughter Adley was born, I changed zero diapers. I can probably count on one hand how many babies I held, too. To put it another way, I had no experience and no idea what I was doing. The good news is I learned how to change a diaper quickly. You will, too! I assigned myself the job of diaper changer. I’m sure this is in the “How to be a Good Dad” handbook. It’s a task no one likes to do, but I knew it was something I could take off my wife’s plate. Practice on a doll before the baby arrives, and watch how the nurses do it in the hospital. You’ll be an expert quickly, making you very popular at home.
9. Take Over Bottle and Pump Cleaning
After becoming a father, I never expected how much additional cleaning it entails. Washing bottles is a daily, time-consuming task. If your partner is breastfeeding, the pump must also be cleaned regularly to prevent contamination. My suggestion is not to ask; just do it. This is one of the best ways to make yourself useful when the baby is napping or spending time with mom.
10. Manage Visitors To Protect Family Time
When the baby is born, EVERYONE will want to meet them. It’s a special time, and it can be wonderful to share with others. But it can also be overwhelming. Act as the gatekeeper. Identify when is a good time and when is a bad time to have visitors. Also, don’t be afraid to end a visit early or cancel. They will understand. It’s your baby; you get to make the rules.
Related: When To Let People Visit Your Newborn
11. Read to Your Baby
It may seem strange to read to a baby who’s only opening their eyes for minutes at a time. But it can make a big difference. An Ohio State study found that kids who are read just one book a day by their parents will hear around 290,000 more words by the time they enter kindergarten compared to kids who aren’t read to.4 Even early on, the benefits can be significant.
12. Cook Dinner
This isn’t directly related to caring for a baby, but dads who do this know why it’s crucial. Between recovery and possibly breastfeeding, your partner will be even more tired than you are. Cooking her favorite meal or something simple for the two of you will take a weight off her shoulders. It’s one less thing she has to think about. It’s also something you can both enjoy together.
13. Plan a Date Night
Nothing changes your life like having a baby. You no longer have the freedom to go out when you want or spend time together like you used to. Once your partner is fully recovered, find a babysitter and have a night for yourselves. It can be easy to get lost in parenting and forget about each other, but nothing makes a family stronger than a happy mom and dad.
Seeing your baby born will be one of the most memorable moments of your life, and that’s when the real work begins. Being an involved dad isn’t about waiting to be asked. It’s about showing up, learning, and taking initiative in ways that support your partner and strengthen your bond with your baby. These early moments matter, and they can shape a connection that lasts a lifetime.
