How Dads Can Help a New Mom

How Dads Can Help a New Mom | Baby Chick

How Dads Can Help a New Mom

Once a baby is born, many dads aren’t sure what they can do to help. To them, it seems as all the baby wants is mom and her boobs. Dads can feel overwhelmed and helpless and, honestly, clueless as to what they can do to pitch in and help mom and baby. You need to remember, he can’t read your mind so he doesn’t know what you need.

This is why I have come up with a list of things that I have told my clients’ husbands/partners to do when they bring their newborn home. Some of these things are physical help, but some of them help emotionally too. She needs all of this to feel like she has a partner in this and is not alone. So if you know a new, expecting dad that may be unsure of what to do or how to help. Share this post with him. Here is my list of how dads can help a new mom:

How Dads Can Help a New Mom

  • Tell her she’s doing a great job.
    • A lot of mothers doubt themselves and are wondering if they are doing anything right. Encourage her and let her know that she’s doing a great job.
  • Tell her that you are proud of her.
  • Tell her how much you love her.
  • Make sure that she is eating enough (this helps with milk production) and help make snacks and meals for her.
    • If you have to go back to work quickly, prepare some things before you leave for work and when you get back so that there are things ready for her in the fridge and pantry.
    • You can also go pick up food-to-go or order in to make sure that she is taking the time to eat.
  • Let her take a bath or a shower (uninterrupted) and allow her to take as long as she would like.
    • I recommend taking the baby out for a walk to get some fresh air during this time. If the baby gets upset, then mom won’t hear him/her and won’t come rushing out of the tub/shower, defeating the whole purpose of her having this time to relax.
  • Let her vent to you.
    • If she wants to keep talking about her labor and the birth, let her talk about it as many times as she needs. Do not get annoyed by this.
  • Listen to her.
    • Being a good listener is vital. If she doesn’t feel heard, she’ll want to talk about things even more desperately.
  • Be patient with her and do NOT try to “fix” her.
      • You need to remember that her hormones are all over the place. She just gave birth, her body is recovering, she is running on little sleep, she is going through a whole lot. Let her cry and be emotional. Simply be there to comfort her and be a shoulder for her to cry on.
  • Encourage her to seek support with other mothers in the community and check in with her regularly to see if she feels she is coping well with the transition into motherhood.
    • If she appears to be struggling with her birth experience or becoming a new mom, or you suspect she may have some emotional trauma from it all, lovingly suggest she speak to a professional.
  • Get her a postpartum massage – the therapist can come to the house or have her get out of the house for a relaxing spa day.
    • If you want to save money, give her a massage yourself. Holding a baby throughout the day and night can build a lot of tension in her shoulders and back. She will love it!
  • Send her out for a haircut, color, or blowout so she can feel a bit more refreshed and more like herself.
  • Don’t get upset if the house is messier than usual – pitch in and tidy up if things are piling up.
  • Do NOT pressure her for sex or any sexual acts.
    • Remember, her body is healing after giving birth. Intimacy will return again soon, however, the pressure will not help the situation and may push her away even further.
  • Buy her some flowers to brighten her day or get her a present for no reason. 🙂
  • Let her take over the remote control.
  • Send her out to buy a new outfit or two.
    • After having a baby, her maternity clothes won’t fit exactly right and neither will her pre-pregnancy clothes, which can leave moms feeling miserable with not much to wear.

Things Dad Can Do When She’s Breastfeeding

  • Make sure she has a breastfeeding pillow and everything she needs is close by.
  • Bring her a glass of water – she always needs to stay hydrated.
  • Make her a light snack while she is breastfeeding – bring it to her so she can eat between switching to the other breast.
  • While she is eating her snack, burp the baby and change the baby’s diaper. This will help wake up baby and be ready for the other breast.

Just know that being at home alone all day without any breaks with a baby is an extremely tiring and intense role. It may seem like she is hardly doing anything or nothing at all since she may still be in her pajamas and not a single thing has changed since you left. However, tending to a baby all day requires a great deal of emotional and physical work. Not to mention, she has no breaks.

She may also feel isolated at times, especially when baby is crying and nothing is working. That usually results in an emotional mama. Offering emotional and physical help is allowing her to heal, recharge, and become a better mother to baby and partner to you. It certainly makes mothering MUCH easier when mothers feel that they are being taken care of too.

Things Dads Can Do With Baby

  • Make sure you learn how to bathe baby and change diapers – even those poopy diapers.
    • Moms love it when dads take over a specific job or jobs. Many dads now do the nightly bath time routine to take something off mom’s plate and allow for some father-daughter or father-son bonding time. Having a regular routine is great for mom since this will give her a little time to herself.
  • Take over some of the feedings.
    • Do some of the feedings in the middle of the night or bring the baby to mom if she is breastfeeding (could also be expressed breastmilk to give her a rest).
    • Feed the baby in the morning before you leave for work (again with expressed breastmilk or formula if formula fed) so mom can sleep in.
  • When baby is crying, try to soothe baby yourself so mom can have a break and won’t get overwhelmed or flustered with always being the one to soothe baby.
  • Take baby out for a walk so mom can have some quiet time.
  • If you have other children, help to look after them so that mom can adjust to life with a newborn again as well as giving her quality time with the new baby.
    • This applies to the other children as well – all need equal one-on-one time with both parents.

Things Dads Can Do In The House

  • If in the budget, hire a housekeeper, regularly if possible, in the early weeks/months.
  • If that is out of the budget, help clean the house yourself.
    • That includes every room in the home, bathrooms too.
  • Help with the laundry.
    • You’ll be surprised how things pile up, especially baby clothes.
  • Take charge of making sure that visitors don’t outstay their welcome or turn up at inconvenient hours.
  • Hire a postpartum doula.
    • A postpartum doula can help out with baby care and attending to mom, providing all types of support: light housework and someone to lean on in times of need.
  • Take over some of the household responsibilities.
    • i.e. paying bills, organizing “thank you” notes, making appointments, etc.
  • Take over the grocery shopping or watch the baby while she goes out to get some alone time while getting the groceries.

A huge thing to remember is, if you see something that needs to be done, don’t leave it or wait to be asked to do it. Make a conscious effort each day to check to see if there’s anything you can help with and do it. If you can’t remember some of those things, bookmark this post. I’m not saying that you have to constantly be cleaning and be on high alert without having a rest or “you” time. You have a lot going on, too. But there are little things you can do while you are already in a specific room which requires little effort. By doing these little things each day, your partner will appreciate you more and you will have an easier time in your relationship and in parenting.

About the Author /

Nina is The Baby Chick® & CEO of Baby Chick®. She is a baby planner, birth doula, postpartum doula, childbirth educator, newborn care specialist, and a mother. With over eight years of experience, she has supported hundreds of families during their pregnancies, births, and postpartum journeys.

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Early child development experts tell us that play is the best way for young children to learn about the world and build a foundation for future academic skills. This is convenient since play is a child’s favorite past time! 😄 Studies tell us that in many instances, play-based activities result in MORE learning than instruction-based activities for young children. So why not try some easy ways to teach your child through play?! {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
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One of the most common questions in an expecting mother's mind is what her unborn baby will look like. 💭 From the moment we realize we're pregnant 🤰 until the day our baby is in our arms, 🤱 most mothers will spend countless hours daydreaming about who their little one will resemble. Most babies will look more like mom, more like dad, or a curiously even combination of the two. On the other hand, some babies come out looking like no one expected!⁠ 😃⁠⠀
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There are a great number of factors that go into what your unborn baby will look like. Here are some of the most common things that can influence how your baby will look when they finally make their grand debut.⁠ ❤️ {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠⠀
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How to Make Your Birth Fun (Or At Least Tolerable! How to Make Your Birth Fun (Or At Least Tolerable!) 😉⁠
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The words "fun" and "birth" may sound like total opposites, 🤨 but there are ways of easing the pain by creating a relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere. 🙌 After all, this is a celebration! 🎉⁠ {Click 🔗 in bio to read some great tips on how to make your birth more enjoyable!⁠}⁠
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I literally pounced on my 2.5-year-old this mornin I literally pounced on my 2.5-year-old this morning and tackled him with kisses for about a solid 3 minutes. He may drive me crazy some days, but, boy, do I sure love that toddler boy of mine. 💙
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7 Reasons Why Childbirth is Easier Than Parenting 7 Reasons Why Childbirth is Easier Than Parenting a Toddler 🙈⁠
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In our culture, it is common for women to feel nervous and even fearful of childbirth. We've all heard scary horror stories from other people about their babies' births. But something that people aren't as willing to share is how much of a turd toddlerhood can be. 💩 Don't get me wrong. I LOVE and ADORE my crazy toddler. But he is the true definition of a sour patch kid. Sour one moment and then sweet the next. He keeps me on my toes almost every minute of every day. 🤪 When I think about the day I gave birth to him, I think, "Psssshhh, that's child's play compared to what this kid puts me through on the regular." Why aren't more people acknowledging that, yes, childbirth can be tough, but wrangling a toddler isn't much easier? This is just my personal experience, but some mothers might agree. Here is why I believe childbirth is easier than parenting a toddler. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!}⁠
📷 taken by: @creativeclicksphotography
👩‍🏫 How to Teach Your Child to Pick Up Aft 👩‍🏫 How to Teach Your Child to Pick Up After Themselves⁠ 🪀⁠
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"If there is one thing kids are really good at, it is making a mess. 🙈 My kids can tear apart a room with toys, books, and clothes in less time than it takes for me to make a cup of coffee. ☕️😒 It's pretty impressive, actually. Except that the mess is in my house and I'm a neat freak. To save my sanity, I have had to come up with some ways of getting my kids to fix the mess they made. I wanted to share with you some ways you can teach your child to pick up after themselves. You have to be consistent with these ideas, but they do work!⁠" 👍 {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!}⁠
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Article by: Cheyenne Bell @senseandserendipityblog
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We stand in solidarity with the Black community and encourage everyone to take action. BlackLivesMatter #muted #listening #BlackoutTuesday 🖤
I often tell my pregnant clients that birth has mo I often tell my pregnant clients that birth has more to do with what happens between your ears (your brain 🧠) than between your legs.⁠ 😳⁠
The fear, tension, pain cycle in childbirth is REAL. The more fear you have, the more tension you will hold, which means the more pain you will feel. The more pain you feel means that you will more likely clench and fight against the natural surges your body needs to produce to open your cervix and bring your baby earthside. That's why the more that you can practice, prepare and educate yourself about calm breathing and positive birth experiences before your baby's birth, the better you'll be able to control what's happening in your mind and allow the labor and birth process to unfold and bloom.⁠ ❤️ The mind is a powerful and beautiful thing. Your birth experience can be too.⁠ ✨
When you and baby are both craving a midday snack When you and baby are both craving a midday snack . . . 😂🤱⁠
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Best Gifts for a New Mom⁠ 🤱🎁⁠ .⁠ 📷: Best Gifts for a New Mom⁠ 🤱🎁⁠
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📷: @whatrobineats⁠
As soon as a woman welcomes a baby into the world, oftentimes, her family and others around her become focused on the baby. The mother can sometimes somewhat be forgotten. If you are wanting to congratulate HER and show her that she is not forgotten, we are sharing the best gifts for a new mom. 💗 Any of these gifts will show her that you thought of her too and that she is cared for. And we promise you, all of these items will be used and loved. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!}⁠
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!! 🗣️ SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!! 🗣️📢👏👏👏⁠
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Words & 📷: @mrs.caitlin_fought⁠
"You want to help a mom? Support her.⁠
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I breastfed my daughter and plan to do the same with this next baby.⁠
I have friends that formula-fed.⁠
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I decided to stay home with my kids.⁠
I have friends who decided to go back to work.⁠
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Never once has my parenting choices gotten in the way of our friendship.⁠
Never once have I felt the need to lecture another mom about how she decides to raise her child.⁠
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You want to help a mom?⁠
Support her.⁠
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Mama, I support you. I support the sacrifices you've made. Just because we parent different doesn't mean I won't be your biggest cheerleader. ❤️"⁠
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When I think back to when I gave birth to my son, When I think back to when I gave birth to my son, I do remember the surges of the contractions, the release of being in the water in the tub, and the pushing. So much pushing. 😓⁠
But I also remember the relief I felt when I first saw Mary Alice, one of my midwives, walk into my master bathroom while I was laboring in the tub. I remember my doula holding my hand in between pushes giving me encouragement, and my husband gently stroking my hair as I came down from the height of contractions.⁠
After giving birth, I remember how my midwives made my bed with fresh linens and with me in it feeling comfortable as I nestled with my newborn son. I remember how a meal was brought to me in bed and how everything was cleaned up and looked as if nothing happened -- not like I had just given birth to a baby. (I had a home birth, by the way.) And I remember how they were all with me by my side every step of the way.⁠
I felt the love, the patience, and the respect that I needed. Those are the memories that I hold with me when I think about the day my son was born. It's how I was cared for and how my birth team made me feel that stays with me.⁠
For expecting women out there, be intentional with the people that you invite into your birthing room. That includes your doctor, your midwife, and your support people. I know that things look very different right now with hospitals only allowing one support person, but you can still receive good support. Take an online birthing class with your partner and practice how they can help you in labor. Speak up to your nurse and ask for what you need and what you want for your experience. Be your own advocate! And if you feel like you can't speak up, hire a doula and receive virtual support during your pregnancy, birth, and immediate postpartum. Feeling supported, respected, and truly cared for is just as important as having a successful birth with a healthy mom and baby. 💗
I've been searching for an image that captures how I've been searching for an image that captures how I've been feeling. And it's this. Parenthood. Love. Protection. ❤️ Standing up for those who can't or they get struck down. 
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"I'm a sucker for birth stories! I've had a variet "I'm a sucker for birth stories! I've had a variety of lengths of labor and birth situations, no C-section or breech experience so far though, but I hope we can find encouragement and hope in each of our stories. While I love sharing about all these boys' births, I don't have the space here for all of them so let's chat about my fav and most unique one. Boy number 4's says an accidental unassisted home birth, but the true reality is that I was assisted by my husband, Michael. My midwife just didn't make it until he was 15 minutes old. I have prodromal labor for weeks before the real thing so when I first went into labor with him, I thought it was the same as it had been almost every night for weeks. When I finally got into the shower, Michael knew I was in transition (7-8cm) because it's what I always do at that point and called the midwife. She could hear me and knew she wouldn't make it, but she had only made it for 30 mins with the one before so that man of mine was prepared. The comical part of this story is that we had a 4-month-old puppy at the time and he was trying to get into the bathroom so Michael went to put him outside, realized the dog had pooped and cleaned it up, only to come back to the bathroom and tell me 'His head is almost out!' I told him, 'no duh!' And within a few more seconds, he was born in the sac still 😳 so I freaked a bit that he wasn't breathing before I realized. Michael calmly broke the sac, go the suction bulb, and then I held him wrapped in a towel in the shower until my midwife arrived. It's my husband's favorite story to tell because of his calm demeanor in the crazy 😝 and I'm all "yeah, I had NOTHING to do with it!" So what's your #birthstory, friends?" 📷 & story: @arielctyson
One day a pregnant client of mine started having a One day a pregnant client of mine started having abdominal pain. She called her OBGYN's office and they had her come in to check on the baby to make sure everything was okay. Everything looked fine and well with the baby so they sent her home saying that it was probably something that she ate and that it must be gas or indigestion pain.
Days went by and the pain not only continued but it got WORSE. I encouraged her to continue reaching out to her doctor, which she did. She would call the office and the nurse and doctor would tell her that everything was fine. They told her what meds she could take that could help, and that if she wanted to come in again the next day, she could.
The next day she went in and they looked at the baby and the baby was still perfect. They told her to go home and said to her, "You must have a very low pain tolerance because everything is appearing normal." Little did they know that she had labored for days and delivered her first baby withOUT any pain medication. (She had a different OBGYN with her first baby.) This client of mine is a strong woman and definitely does NOT have a low pain tolerance. I would know because I was her doula for both of her babies.
The pain she experienced only got worse the next day. She was in agony. She did her own research and thought it might be appendicitis. She decided to drive herself to the hospital this time without calling and told the nurse that she was in severe pain and that she thinks she has appendicitis. The nurse said, "there is no way that you could have appendicitis. You wouldn't be able to stand or drive yourself here or even talk if you had appendicitis." My client demanded that she see a doctor to get evaluated. Once a doctor was available to see her and examine her safely (since she was 34 weeks pregnant) they realized that, in fact, she DID have appendicitis & that it was so bad she needed immediate emergency surgery since it could be life-threatening. The surgery then caused her body to go into labor. Just hours after her surgery she pushed & delivered her second child.
I tell this story because I have seen & been told countless stories like this. (Continue reading in the comments.)
😐😐😐😐😐😂⁠ 📷: @thedad 😐😐😐😐😐😂⁠
📷: @thedad
The Ultimate List of Grandpa Names⁠ 👴⁠ .⁠ The Ultimate List of Grandpa Names⁠ 👴⁠
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We recently posted our ultimate list of Grandma names, but you might be looking for the perfect match for a Grandpa name. 💙 Many fathers that turn into Grandpas usually go with what their dads were called as grandparents or something traditional, but we encourage you to take a look at all of the options! There just might be a better fit that suits you. 😊 Here is our ultimate list of over 100 Grandpa names to choose from!⁠
{Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!}⁠
📷: @royalty_europe
Tag your squad 😎⁠ 😂😂😂⁠ 📷: @then Tag your squad 😎⁠
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📷: @thenewsclan
As soon as a woman becomes pregnant she will hear As soon as a woman becomes pregnant she will hear ALL kinds of unsolicited advice from everyone around her. 🤰 Friends, family members, even strangers will tell her what they went through and what they think she should do with her body and her baby. 😑 And this unsolicited advice continues long into parenthood. ⁠
Something that I think ALL mothers should know and learn is that you do NOT have to own or accept any information or stories someone tells you if it does not serve you. If it's unhelpful and not inline with your choices, hopes, and desires as a mother, then as soon as it was received immediately discard it. Don't harbor any information that does a disservice to you. The mind is a powerful thing. When we are told war stories and how terrible, awful, or painful things were for them (pregnancy, childbirth, or parenthood), that can live and stay with you. You do not have to own someone else's story. It may have been told with good intentions, but if you do not find value in it let it go. Release it and surround yourself with positive talk, uplifting stories, and happy, respectful, and supportive people.⁠ Be bold enough to go against the grain if you must and do what is right for you and your family.⁠
Ultimately, listen to your intuition. And if you're unsure of what your intuition is telling you, seek counsel from people who you admire and trust.⁠
You're doing great and if you didn't know this, you're already are a great mother. 💕 #thebabychick
Transition to Motherhood in Uncertain Times⁠ 🤱⁠
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When a first baby is born, so is a new mother. 💗 The transition to motherhood can be a very difficult one that is impossible to be fully prepared for. As you become a mother you take on a completely new identity. It is a new phase of life that comes with new challenges, emotions, and growth.⁠ 🌱⁠
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As a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit occupational therapist, I find that I take care of the mothers just as much as I take care of the babies. ❤️ Many, if not most mothers, are prepared with the tangibles: a place for the new baby to sleep, clothes for the new baby to wear, bottles, and diapers. But it is impossible to fully prepare for the emotional transition that takes place. New moms are met with not only a little baby who is completely dependent but also a barrage of new and different emotions that you may not fully understand.⁠ {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!}⁠
Author by: Aimee Ketchum⁠ @aimeeketchum⁠
📷: @trinitysierra
Let me just stop you right there! *pew pew* 🔫🤱
Surprising Body Changes During Pregnancy – Podca Surprising Body Changes During Pregnancy – Podcast Ep 33⁠ 😮⁠
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Pregnancy is such a beautiful time in a woman's life. 💕 But don't get me wrong, not every day of pregnancy is glamorous. 😬 We've all heard of the luxurious hair, the glowing skin, the stretchmarks with the growing belly, but there are also things that happen to a woman's body during pregnancy that aren't really discussed. That's why we are covering all of the surprising body changes a woman can experience during pregnancy on today's podcast episode. So if you're currently expecting and are noticing some odd changes happening to your body, you can feel relieved knowing that you are not alone. 🤰 {Click 🔗 in bio to listen to the episode!}⁠
Now that "homeschool" is over, we can now enjoy ou Now that "homeschool" is over, we can now enjoy our summer! 😎 Oh, wait . . . #looksalotlikerightnow 🤔⁠
📷: @hallmark
When you become a mother you realize how much your When you become a mother you realize how much your mother did (or didn't do) for you. 💗 Sending love to all of the mothers, step-mothers, mother figures out there.
Happy Monday, mamas!⁠ 👋⁠ ⁠ Lately, with e Happy Monday, mamas!⁠ 👋⁠
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Lately, with everything going on, I've been thinking a lot about mothers with newborns. 🤱 As a postpartum doula, I get the pleasure of supporting new families in their homes and helping them navigate the winding roads and highs and lows of early parenthood. But right now I know that families are bringing home their precious babies and are feeling alone more than ever. They have less physical support, which can feel like they have less emotional and informational support as well. This breaks my heart. 💔 I wish this wasn't happening to families or to our world and I wish that I could be there for these moms.⁠
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That's why today, I am hopping on our stories and answering YOUR questions. Since I can't be there PHYSICALLY to help you with your pregnancy and newborns, I want you to know that I am here virtually for you. How can I help?⁠
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{I've left a question box in our stories. Have a question about your postpartum recovery? About your newborn? About breastfeeding? Bottle-feeding? You name it! I've been helping mothers as a birth doula and postpartum doula for 10 years and I am here for you.💕}⁠
📷: @creativeclicksphotography
Okay, grandma. 🙄⁠ 📷: unknown Okay, grandma. 🙄⁠
📷: unknown
To the mamas, papas, dreamers, visionaries, SAHMs, To the mamas, papas, dreamers, visionaries, SAHMs, etc. out there, kudos to you! For going so hard, for not quitting even on the worst days, even on the tired days, even on the days you don't know how you're going to do it, or don't feel like you can. You know it's okay to have some patience, grace, and forgiveness with yourself, right?⁠
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Our children are the future. I had to learn to give myself some grace. Sometimes when I evaluate where I am in life and see that I'm not exactly where I want to be or could've been frustrates me, or gets me down. I'm so hard on myself. But then I realized if the ONLY good thing I've done or successfully done is raise great children, I am in fact doing well!! *Parents, it's so important how we raise our children, and many of you KNOW that is not an easy task.⁠
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There are so many different aspects on this one topic. First, their confidence, self-love, etc. is so important. They need to know who they are, so when they encounter times and people that aren't so kind they are not completely crushed.⁠
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Secondly, think about who you're putting into the world. Do you remember your heartbreak(s), or some of the sh*%$y people you've come across and thought who raised them? Or even when you encountered a child that needed a hug or just some TLC. It's important!⁠
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Thirdly, but not least, for the dreamer or the visionary . . . Yes, we are working so hard for our dreams and goals. And one day we may achieve them, but our building and growing may also be in the building for our children. As we are building a future for them. Show yourself a little love. ❤️"⁠
Words & 📷: @tanishasnell_
"On my headstone, I hope they write, 'Here lies a "On my headstone, I hope they write, 'Here lies a devoted mother who suffocated under her enormous laundry pile.' #kiddingnotkidding⁠
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I'm trying to be more mindful about laundry and use it as a meditation practice (my main squeeze Thich Nhat Hanh talks about washing your dishes like you're bathing baby Buddha. 😊) Sometimes I can do it and feel grateful and grounded (I find cloth diapers particularly soothing for some reason. 🤷‍♀️) And sometimes I consider just turning our living room into one huge laundry pile and letting everyone forage for their clothes each morning. #wildstyle⁠
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So tell me, wise women of the world--how do you do laundry? Are you a load-a-day type or do you wait until it piles up and tackle it all at once?"⁠
Words & 📷: @spiritysol
It's called balance. And motherhood. And it's the It's called balance. And motherhood. And it's the weekend. 💁‍♀️🤪 Cheers!
Want to jazz up breakfast or lunch for the kids (o Want to jazz up breakfast or lunch for the kids (or yourself 😉) in an easy way? Animal Face Toast! 😍⁠
Pop an emoji for your favorite animal!🐱🦉🦊🐻🐷🐵⁠
📷: @weelicious
Staying safe for mom and baby has never been tough Staying safe for mom and baby has never been tougher than it is now. 😷 Shout out to all the pregnant moms and moms with newborns!! You are amazing. 🙇‍♀️ You are strong. 💪 And our hearts are with you. ❤️⁠
📷: @themommaprentice