Let’s face it. After delivering a baby, regardless of the method of delivery, sex may be one of the last things on your mind. Between the physical changes to your body from the delivery, the exhaustion of caring for a newborn, and the emotional changes induced by hormones, there are just a few barriers to sex after having a baby. If you feel this way, the good news is that these feelings are very normal, common, and temporary. But it is also normal, common, and good to want to have sex with your partner as soon as you can. But how long do you need to wait to have sex after having a baby? And why?
As an obstetrician who regularly provides postpartum care, I help women navigate this exact question in the weeks after delivery. For more guidance on recovery, visit our Postpartum Care resources. Here’s what determines when it’s safe to resume sex after childbirth and why waiting matters for your recovery.
How Long Do I Need to Wait to Have Sex After Having a Baby?
Most providers will recommend waiting four to six weeks after delivery to resume intercourse. During pregnancy, labor, and delivery, your body undergoes many major changes, and it takes time to recover and heal. Multiple factors are changing and healing during this time, determining the best time to start having sex again.
Why Wait?
Several parts of your body are healing after childbirth, and each plays a role in determining when sex is safe and comfortable again.
Wound Healing
Healing tissues are especially vulnerable in the first weeks, and sex too soon can lead to complications.
Even if you were one of the lucky ones who got through delivery without a laceration, there was still stretching and pulling in your pelvis and vagina that need time to heal. If you had a C-section after laboring, you likely had multiple cervical exams and still experienced labor pains and have vaginal soreness. If you had a planned C-section, your abdominal scar also needs time to heal. Letting your incision, laceration, scratch, or stretched vaginal walls have time to heal is the most important thing. If you resume intercourse too soon, you could reopen a not completely healed wound, leading to further complications.
At your postpartum appointment, your provider will examine your perineum to ensure healing is complete before you resume intercourse. Occasionally, you may need additional time or treatment to ensure complete healing. You’ll want to put in the extra time now to avoid long-term complications with wound healing.
Related: How to Care for Your C-Section Scar for Healthy Healing
Risk of Postpartum Hemorrhage and Infection
The uterus, cervix, and birth canal are still closing and shrinking, making infection and bleeding more likely.
The highest risk of complications, including infection and hemorrhage, is during the first few weeks after delivery. This risk can be increased with early intercourse. Immediately postpartum, the uterus begins to involute (shrink back) to its normal size of about a fist. Given that the uterus is the size of a watermelon before delivery and remains large enough to be felt at your belly button immediately postpartum, the fact that this process only takes about six weeks is pretty remarkable.
Involution is achieved by the uterine muscles contracting, and sex can disturb this process. These same contractions also prevent postpartum hemorrhage. Therefore, having sex too early can increase your risk of postpartum hemorrhage.
At the same time, your cervix is shrinking back to its pre-pregnancy size, and the cervical os, or opening, is closing. Early intercourse can introduce bacteria into the vaginal canal. An open cervical os can significantly increase the risk for postpartum uterine infection or endometritis. Endometritis can be a severe infection requiring hospital admission for treatment with intravenous antibiotics. And it can lead to further complications, including postpartum hemorrhage and rarely surgical treatment.1
Is It Going to Hurt?
Pain is common early on, especially with dryness and scar sensitivity, but going slow and using lubrication can help.
When you’re ready to have sex again after having a baby, my best advice is to go slow. Your vagina went through a lot during delivery. Even though your provider has cleared you to resume intercourse, most women are scared of pain with intercourse. Some of this is psychological and will improve with time. However, some women may experience physical concerns due to lacerations, scar tissue, or dryness.
Vaginal dryness is a common complaint in the postpartum period. It can be worse and stick around longer in women who are breastfeeding. Using a lubricant and going slowly will help. However, sometimes this isn’t enough, and your provider may recommend an additional supplement to improve your symptoms.
What if it Doesn’t Feel the Same?
Pelvic floor changes are normal after pregnancy, and strengthening exercises can improve comfort and sensation.
During pregnancy and especially during delivery, the pelvic floor muscles are subjected to tremendous pressure, stretching, and pulling. It is common for women to have incontinence or pelvic pressure after delivery, regardless of the delivery method. Starting Kegel exercises early and performing them regularly can have a significant impact on how you feel. They also decrease your likelihood of developing pelvic organ prolapse in the future.
To perform a Kegel exercise, I recommend practicing while using the restroom. While mid-stream, contract the pelvic floor muscles, which allow you to stop the urine stream, then release it. Once you have the movement down, you can perform these exercises frequently throughout the day, such as while waiting at a stoplight or at the pediatrician’s office. Ask your provider if they would recommend physical therapy, as well as this, because it can be highly beneficial for rebuilding pelvic floor strength after pregnancy.
Related: Why Every Mother Needs To Know About Pelvic Floor Therapy
Most providers will recommend waiting four to six weeks post-delivery to have sex after the birth of your baby. However, this timeline can vary depending on the specific circumstances of your delivery. Therefore, it is always recommended to discuss this with your healthcare provider. If something feels off, don’t be scared or embarrassed to ask your provider — I promise, we’ve heard it all!
If six or more weeks have passed and you still don’t feel ready, that’s completely normal. Healing looks different for everyone. Talk with your provider, give yourself grace, and resume intimacy only when it feels right for you.
