What to Know About Your Sex Drive After Baby

Sex Drive After Baby | Baby Chick

What to Know About Your Sex Drive After Baby

Did you know that it’s completely normal to have a decreased sex drive after having a baby? I had no clue until I experienced it firsthand. This feeling can actually last for months; however, most women report this decrease in libido to be temporary. Some women also report a decreased sex drive while breastfeeding, saying it returned once baby weaned and they stopped nursing completely. But if you think about it, doesn’t it stand to reason that a life change so major would have an impact on your love life? After all, a new baby affects everything else . . .

We get it. You’re exhausted.

Your sex drive now has to compete with the overwhelming fatigue that accompanies welcoming a newborn into your family. This can be especially challenging for first-time parents. (I know it was for us!) New babies are demanding and require round-the-clock care. Sometimes you just want to nap, and not be touched. And that is perfectly okay.

You’re also recovering from the trauma of giving birth.

Having a baby is hard work, no matter how you decide to go about it. Your hormones are all over the place. You may even be suffering from postpartum depression. You may worry that sex will be painful–there’s a reason the OBGYN advises waiting six weeks before resuming sexual activity! I’m just going to tell it like it is: those first few encounters might be painful and uncomfortable. (So don’t forget the lube!) You might even feel less sexy after having a baby, which obviously impacts your sex drive.

You may be worried about becoming pregnant again.

Many women (especially those who choose to breastfeed) won’t immediately go back on birth control after giving birth. Some experts suggest that decreased libido might be the body’s way of protecting itself from becoming pregnant again too quickly. How crazy cool is that? (Apparently, some animal species experience something similar.) However, you can never be too safe. Talk to your doctor about your post-baby birth control options as soon as possible.

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Whatever you do (or don’t do), keep the lines of communication open.

This is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship with your significant other. Leaving important things unsaid can only cause confusion and heartache. Try explaining to your spouse that you may feel less exhausted (and more open to sex) if you have help caring for baby–or at least a well-deserved break every now and then.

Do something to make yourself feel sexy . . .

Go for a run (exercise increases endorphins). Take a shower and put on some lipstick. Buy a new pair of panties. Read a romance novel. Have a glass (or two) of wine and try to relax. Help yourself “get into the right state of mind.” Living in smelly, spit-up stained jammies 24/7 probably isn’t going to cut it. (This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Don’t be afraid to take care of yourself! You deserve it, mama.) Try to establish some normalcy. Take your sex life into your own hands. You hold the power; you are in control. Even when it feels like life is spinning out of control around you!

Take a field trip.

Get frisky somewhere besides your bed. Otherwise you may just want to crawl under the covers and snooze. Let’s be real. Or you may even feel resentful. Get creative. Try getting sexy on the living room floor. Or in the shower. Or in the kitchen. Your options are endless, and it’s definitely worth a try. Right?

Because if you want things to work, you have to put your relationship with your significant other above all else–including your relationship with your baby and other children. And this includes having sex, intimacy. A marriage cannot last without these things. And when all else fails, just fake it until you make it! 😉

READ MORE
5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong After Baby

Did you experience a decreased sex drive after having a baby? What steps did you take to rekindle the magic? We’d love to hear! Feel free to comment below.

About the Author /

Wife, mommy to three precious little girls, currently pregnant with baby a boy, and owner of The Plaid Pony.

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(quote by @debiandbebi)⁠
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Instagram post 17862171103601373 All of these things make me happy. What would you add to your self care toolbox?⁠
I'm seriously needing some of these things tonight to start a new week. Hoping you mamas get some self care time too! 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 18081610903134401 Praying that your toddler let's you get to sleep this weekend. 🙏💤⁠
📷: unknown⁠
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(quote: @mommywinetime)⁠
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Instagram post 17853200368708392 SURPRISE! A little shocked, a little tired, and a LOT BLESSED. Congrats, @sarah_lit! ❤️⁠
📷: @sarah_lit⁠
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Instagram post 18073051357163780 When it comes to clamping the cord, our mottos is "what's the rush?" The blood volume in the placenta and cord at the time of birth is BABY'S blood. It's simply mid-circulation in the placenta at the time of birth. It just makes sense to leave it be and let it finish its job.⁠
No, the blood won't drain out of baby and go backwards into the placenta.⁠
No, your baby is not more likely to get sick from jaundice.⁠
Yes, your baby will still be getting oxygen while they figure out breathing, especially important if they need resuscitation.⁠
Yes, your baby will have better iron levels for the first year of their life.⁠
Look at how thick and engorged this cord still is at 4 and 18 minutes after baby was born. Just imagine how much blood baby would have lost if the cord had been clamped immediately, or at 60 seconds, 90 seconds, or 3 minutes! The placenta was expelled immediately before the 18 minute photo was taken. The pulse in the cord could still be felt even AFTER THE PLACENTA HAD BEEN DELIVERED! The cord was finally clamped and cut more than an hour after birth at 73 minutes. ❤️⁠
📷: @lawrenrosephotography⁠
Informative post and words by @bundleborn⁠
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Instagram post 17852665306696124 With the holiday season upon us and moms trying to make everything magical for their families, remember to stop and take a moment to take care of you. ❤️ Have a hot cup of coffee, a long warm shower and some alone time. Communicate this with your partner not as a wish but as a necessity. We must take the time to take care of ourselves to better take care of them. 💕⁠
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Instagram post 18095239591099259 After holiday feasting . . . this baby gets me.⁠ 🤣
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Instagram post 17844162355818683 I think I had a little too much turkey . . . and pie. 😬🍗🥧 #leggingsforlife⁠
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Instagram post 17990835490280335 I totally felt this way when I was pregnant. And kinda feel this way after all that turkey. 🤣🦃 Happy turkey day to all you expecting mamas!!⁠
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Instagram post 18094211479105476 I spy with my little eye the cutest turkey ever. 😍 Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Hope it's filled with love, laughter, and cuteness like this. ❤️⁠
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Instagram post 17852562805720320 Loneliness is a real thing in new motherhood and I want to be sure we talk about this. It's okay to say, "I feel lonely." We normalize one another's experiences when we share the reality of our journey. It can be so isolating when we bring our small human home and our lives revolve around his/her care. We feel detached from the outside world. The monotony of new motherhood can be heavy.⁠
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Here are some tips to combat isolation:⁠
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1️⃣ Get outside when possible.⁠
2️⃣ Video chat with friends/family.⁠
3️⃣ Join a virtual group.⁠
4️⃣ Invite someone to come over.⁠
5️⃣ Find a local mom's group.⁠
6️⃣ Listen to the radio or a podcast (it's interesting how this can make us feel connected with others)⁠
7️⃣ Run an errand--even grabbing a coffee via drive-thru can feel good.⁠
8️⃣ Get to know your neighbors.⁠
What would you add to the list?⁠
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📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 17855722339639264 ✈️ Tips to Survive a Plane Ride with Kids ✈️⁠
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Flying on a plane with your little one for the first time can be terrifying. Are they going to cry the whole time? How will they handle the airport, the turbulence and the landing? Well we have some tips that will help prepare you for your flight with your kids. Here's what to do to have a more enjoyable experience 😊 {Link in bio!}⁠
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