What to Know About Your Sex Drive After Baby

Sex Drive After Baby | Baby Chick

What to Know About Your Sex Drive After Baby

Did you know that it’s completely normal to have a decreased sex drive after having a baby? I had no clue until I experienced it firsthand. This feeling can actually last for months; however, most women report this decrease in libido to be temporary. Some women also report a decreased sex drive while breastfeeding, saying it returned once baby weaned and they stopped nursing completely. But if you think about it, doesn’t it stand to reason that a life change so major would have an impact on your love life? After all, a new baby affects everything else . . .

We get it. You’re exhausted.

Your sex drive now has to compete with the overwhelming fatigue that accompanies welcoming a newborn into your family. This can be especially challenging for first-time parents. (I know it was for us!) New babies are demanding and require round-the-clock care. Sometimes you just want to nap, and not be touched. And that is perfectly okay.

You’re also recovering from the trauma of giving birth.

Having a baby is hard work, no matter how you decide to go about it. Your hormones are all over the place. You may even be suffering from postpartum depression. You may worry that sex will be painful–there’s a reason the OBGYN advises waiting six weeks before resuming sexual activity! I’m just going to tell it like it is: those first few encounters might be painful and uncomfortable. (So don’t forget the lube!) You might even feel less sexy after having a baby, which obviously impacts your sex drive.

You may be worried about becoming pregnant again.

Many women (especially those who choose to breastfeed) won’t immediately go back on birth control after giving birth. Some experts suggest that decreased libido might be the body’s way of protecting itself from becoming pregnant again too quickly. How crazy cool is that? (Apparently, some animal species experience something similar.) However, you can never be too safe. Talk to your doctor about your post-baby birth control options as soon as possible.

Whatever you do (or don’t do), keep the lines of communication open.

This is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship with your significant other. Leaving important things unsaid can only cause confusion and heartache. Try explaining to your spouse that you may feel less exhausted (and more open to sex) if you have help caring for baby–or at least a well-deserved break every now and then.

Do something to make yourself feel sexy . . .

Go for a run (exercise increases endorphins). Take a shower and put on some lipstick. Buy a new pair of panties. Read a romance novel. Have a glass (or two) of wine and try to relax. Help yourself “get into the right state of mind.” Living in smelly, spit-up stained jammies 24/7 probably isn’t going to cut it. (This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Don’t be afraid to take care of yourself! You deserve it, mama.) Try to establish some normalcy. Take your sex life into your own hands. You hold the power; you are in control. Even when it feels like life is spinning out of control around you!

Take a field trip.

Get frisky somewhere besides your bed. Otherwise you may just want to crawl under the covers and snooze. Let’s be real. Or you may even feel resentful. Get creative. Try getting sexy on the living room floor. Or in the shower. Or in the kitchen. Your options are endless, and it’s definitely worth a try. Right?

Because if you want things to work, you have to put your relationship with your significant other above all else–including your relationship with your baby and other children. And this includes having sex, intimacy. A marriage cannot last without these things. And when all else fails, just fake it until you make it! 😉

Did you experience a decreased sex drive after having a baby? What steps did you take to rekindle the magic? We’d love to hear! Feel free to comment below.

About the Author /

Wife, mommy to three precious little girls, currently pregnant with baby a boy, and owner of The Plaid Pony.

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Potty Training Tips! A step-by-step guide 🚽⁠ Potty Training Tips! A step-by-step guide 🚽⁠
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1️⃣ Look for signs of readiness:⁠
- Diaper dry for at least 1-2 hours.⁠
- Pulling at their diaper when its wet or soiled.⁠
- Hiding or fidgeting when going pee or poo in diaper.⁠
- Interest in others using the potty.⁠
- Waking up with a dry diaper after naps.⁠
- Telling you when they have gone pee or poo.⁠
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Potty training is much quicker if your child is showing the above signs, but you can start before this.⁠
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2️⃣ What you will need to buy:⁠
- Toilet seat insert to place on your toilet⁠
- Steps⁠
- Underwear (at least 10 pairs)⁠
- Foldable toilet seat (for when you are out of the house)⁠
- Piddle pad (for car journeys)⁠
- Waterproof shoes such as crocs, sliders, etc. (they can be rinsed and dried)⁠
- Not necessary but helpful: flushable wipes⁠
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3️⃣ Getting yourself and your child prepared:⁠
- Talk to your child about using the potty, maybe take them into the bathroom when you go and talk them through the process (e.g. wiping, flushing, and washing hands, etc.)⁠
- Practice pulling pants or shorts up and down.⁠
- Look on YouTube with your child at some potty training stories (e.g. 'I Want My Potty' and 'Pirate Pete's Potty')⁠
- Involve your child in choosing and buying everything you need - choosing character-themed underwear is usually very exciting!⁠
- Sit your child on the potty at every diaper change, first thing in the morning and just before bed to get them used to sitting on the toilet.⁠
- Teach your child the correct vocabulary or signs needed to communicate when they need to go potty.⁠
- Make sure you have plenty of spare clothes.⁠
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4️⃣ Let's get toilet trained:⁠
- Get your child to choose a pair of underwear and put them on.⁠
- Talk to them about using the toilet and communicating when they need to pee or poo. You can sit them on the toilet at this point if you wish.⁠
- Take your child to the toilet every 15/20 minutes. Say "let's go to the potty" rather than asking "do you want to go to the toilet" - if you ask, they are likely to say no! Also, look for signs like moving from side-to-side or hiding. These are normal signs that they might need to go potty.⁠
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(Continue reading in the comments!)