Let’s Talk About Sex (During and After Pregnancy)

Let’s Talk About Sex (During and After Pregnancy) | Baby Chick

Let’s Talk About Sex (During and After Pregnancy)

SEX. Is it safe to continue having it during pregnancy? For most women, the answer is a resounding yes. If you are having a normal, unproblematic pregnancy — by all means, have at it, sister! You can continue to have sex right up until your water breaks or you go into labor. Under some circumstances, some women will have to modify their activity or even abstain from sex for part or the entirety of their pregnancies. Your physician or midwife should let you know if sex becomes a no-go at any point. But don’t be afraid to speak up! There is no such thing as a stupid question when it comes to having a baby. So let’s talk about it!

Can sex during pregnancy hurt the baby?

Nope! Sex during pregnancy will not harm baby. The amniotic sac and the muscles of the uterus will protect the baby, and the mucus plug seals the cervix to protect against infection. Contrary to popular opinion, the penis does not go past the vagina during sex, so it won’t reach baby. You really don’t have to worry about poking baby in the head.

Can sex cause labor?

Not if you are having a normal pregnancy. There are prostaglandins in your partner’s semen which can help soften your cervix, but this doesn’t usually happen until the end of your pregnancy. Sexual stimulation or orgasm CANNOT cause labor or miscarriage. Orgasm CAN cause mild (and harmless) contractions, but these should subside. (If not, you may want to call your doctor!)

Many women say sex feels different during pregnancy. Some will experience an increase in sexual desire as well as pleasure. Others may find it less pleasant for parts (or all) of pregnancy. It really just depends — each of us is unique, and so are our pregnancies. No one pregnancy is the same.

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Did you know? Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can cause engorgement of the female genitalia. The heightened sensation may add to your pleasure during sex! Bonus: it may also increase vaginal discharge (or moisture). 

How might (pregnant) sex change?

Your breasts might feel tingly or tender to the touch, especially during your first trimester. If this isn’t your first rodeo, you may start leaking milk a little sooner this time around — and may not even want to be touched! The tenderness generally subsides. Some women will find this to be a turn-on in the bedroom; others not so much. Always be open and honest with your partner regarding your desires. Most men need a little help in the mind reading department. From our experience.

If you are uncomfortable, speak up. Let your partner know. There are other things you can try together (if you are uninterested in intercourse), like oral sex or even self-stimulation. Don’t be afraid to experiment to find what works for you as a couple. I mean duh, obviously there’s more to physical intimacy than just sex. Try kissing, holding hands, a sensual massage, or gentle caressing. You can express your love for one another without actually making love.

How might pregnancy affect my partner?

Just like your own libido might fluctuate or even disappear during pregnancy — think nausea, extreme fatigue, lack of sleep and raging hormones, those final uncomfortable days of pregnancy — your partner may also experience changes in sexual desire. Some men find their partners just as or even more attractive during pregnancy. Others get hung up on the idea of hurting baby during sex (remind him this is a misnomer), or just can’t get past the idea of having sex with their “precious pregnant wives.” It’s important to be mindful and respectful of his feelings and desires — after all, it takes two to tango. Open communication eases tension.

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Believe it or not, oral sex is generally safe during pregnancy. Licking is okay, but do NOT allow your partner to blow into your vagina — this could cause an air bubble that could get into your blood circulation, and could be life threatening to either you or your baby. Another no-no? If your partner has oral herpes (cold sores), he should not go anywhere near your lady parts. Wait until the outbreak clears, and then have at it! (If you so choose.) Worried your partner could have an STD? Protection (latex condoms) is always the best option — or abstinence. We say better safe than sorry.

What about positions? Laying flat on your stomach is not a good idea, and laying flat on your back missionary-style isn’t wise after the first trimester (try wedging a pillow under your back). Your preferences will probably change as your belly grows. Bleeding after sex or cramps that won’t go away are a good reason to call your doctor or midwife. Don’t be afraid to talk to your health practitioner about any sex during pregnancy related questions, and never hesitate to call when something feels wrong.

Maternity photography, Brandie Payne Photography, Sex during pregnancy, Sex after pregnancy

Image (and cover image) courtesy of Brandie Payne Photography. www.brandiepayne.com

Sex After Baby…

There’s no denying that sex will be different after baby is born. Just trust us on this one. Your physician will probably tell you to wait until (at least) after your six week postpartum checkup to again engage in sexual activity. You may find things feel a little different down there at first — you will probably need to ease back into your pre-baby sexual routine. And you may (okay probably) find you need extra lubrication. We recommend Good Clean Love’s Almost Naked Organic Personal Lubricant. Infused with a touch of lemon and vanilla, Almost Naked is formulated to provide the same long-lasting glide as conventional lubricants, without all the irritating chemical additives. We are big fans of their “naturally good” product line, and we think you guys will be, too! We encourage you to give it a try — once your doctor says it’s safe to play again, of course! And let us know what you think.

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Truth: Baby is going to take up a LOT of time and energy. Also true: Keeping the fire and passion alive with your partner is equally as important as caring for baby. However you choose to go about it, make time for one another. It may not always be easy, but it will most certainly be worth it.

About the Author /

Wife, mommy to three precious little girls, currently pregnant with baby a boy, and owner of The Plaid Pony.

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(quote by @debiandbebi)⁠
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Instagram post 17862171103601373 All of these things make me happy. What would you add to your self care toolbox?⁠
I'm seriously needing some of these things tonight to start a new week. Hoping you mamas get some self care time too! 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 18081610903134401 Praying that your toddler let's you get to sleep this weekend. 🙏💤⁠
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Instagram post 17853200368708392 SURPRISE! A little shocked, a little tired, and a LOT BLESSED. Congrats, @sarah_lit! ❤️⁠
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Instagram post 17864808397574241 Pregnant and hungry all the time? Here are some great ideas to keep in the fridge when the hunger pains kick in! 🤰👍⁠
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Instagram post 18073051357163780 When it comes to clamping the cord, our mottos is "what's the rush?" The blood volume in the placenta and cord at the time of birth is BABY'S blood. It's simply mid-circulation in the placenta at the time of birth. It just makes sense to leave it be and let it finish its job.⁠
No, the blood won't drain out of baby and go backwards into the placenta.⁠
No, your baby is not more likely to get sick from jaundice.⁠
Yes, your baby will still be getting oxygen while they figure out breathing, especially important if they need resuscitation.⁠
Yes, your baby will have better iron levels for the first year of their life.⁠
Look at how thick and engorged this cord still is at 4 and 18 minutes after baby was born. Just imagine how much blood baby would have lost if the cord had been clamped immediately, or at 60 seconds, 90 seconds, or 3 minutes! The placenta was expelled immediately before the 18 minute photo was taken. The pulse in the cord could still be felt even AFTER THE PLACENTA HAD BEEN DELIVERED! The cord was finally clamped and cut more than an hour after birth at 73 minutes. ❤️⁠
📷: @lawrenrosephotography⁠
Informative post and words by @bundleborn⁠
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#placenta #lotusbirth #homebirth #midwife #midwifery #phsiologicThirdStage #delayedcordclamping #optimalcordclamping #waitforwhite #whatstherush #postpartum #birth #laboranddelivery #babychick #mommychick
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Instagram post 17852665306696124 With the holiday season upon us and moms trying to make everything magical for their families, remember to stop and take a moment to take care of you. ❤️ Have a hot cup of coffee, a long warm shower and some alone time. Communicate this with your partner not as a wish but as a necessity. We must take the time to take care of ourselves to better take care of them. 💕⁠
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Instagram post 18095239591099259 After holiday feasting . . . this baby gets me.⁠ 🤣
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Instagram post 17844162355818683 I think I had a little too much turkey . . . and pie. 😬🍗🥧 #leggingsforlife⁠
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Instagram post 17990835490280335 I totally felt this way when I was pregnant. And kinda feel this way after all that turkey. 🤣🦃 Happy turkey day to all you expecting mamas!!⁠
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Instagram post 18094211479105476 I spy with my little eye the cutest turkey ever. 😍 Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Hope it's filled with love, laughter, and cuteness like this. ❤️⁠
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Instagram post 17852562805720320 Loneliness is a real thing in new motherhood and I want to be sure we talk about this. It's okay to say, "I feel lonely." We normalize one another's experiences when we share the reality of our journey. It can be so isolating when we bring our small human home and our lives revolve around his/her care. We feel detached from the outside world. The monotony of new motherhood can be heavy.⁠
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Here are some tips to combat isolation:⁠
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1️⃣ Get outside when possible.⁠
2️⃣ Video chat with friends/family.⁠
3️⃣ Join a virtual group.⁠
4️⃣ Invite someone to come over.⁠
5️⃣ Find a local mom's group.⁠
6️⃣ Listen to the radio or a podcast (it's interesting how this can make us feel connected with others)⁠
7️⃣ Run an errand--even grabbing a coffee via drive-thru can feel good.⁠
8️⃣ Get to know your neighbors.⁠
What would you add to the list?⁠
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Repost: words and 📷 by @psychedmommy⁠
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Instagram post 17867282176536875 ⁠For the week of Thanksgiving (and longer if you can!) let's focus on what we DO have instead of what we lack. The more we express gratitude and appreciate our blessings the more we recognize all of our blessings and everything we should be thankful for. 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 17855722339639264 ✈️ Tips to Survive a Plane Ride with Kids ✈️⁠
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Flying on a plane with your little one for the first time can be terrifying. Are they going to cry the whole time? How will they handle the airport, the turbulence and the landing? Well we have some tips that will help prepare you for your flight with your kids. Here's what to do to have a more enjoyable experience 😊 {Link in bio!}⁠
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