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There are so many different blog posts and classes out there that teach you what you SHOULD be doing during early labor, active labor, transition, and pushing (including my own blog posts), but sometimes it’s nice to know the things that you should NOT be doing so you can really avoid some unnecessary interventions and outcomes. Here are my 7 tips on what expecting mamas should NOT do during labor.
1. Do NOT Over Exert Yourself
So many women get super excited as soon as they start feeling those first contractions. They want to jump up and get things going! I don’t blame them, but what they don’t know is that resting is just as important as movement when things really get started. Yes, being upright and frequently changing positions helps with your comfort and promotes better positioning of the baby (which can in turn help speed things up), but periods of rest are equally as important. Since labor can take many hours and sometimes days, you don’t want to burn out before you can reach the end. This is why resting in between periods of activity is the best thing to do for your mind and body.
2. Do NOT Get to the Hospital Too Soon
That is, if you are having your baby at the hospital… If you’re having your baby at home, no worries! If you are having your baby at a birth center, you don’t want to get there too early either since you can get sent home. But if you are having your baby at a hospital, you definitely don’t want to get there too soon.
You want to wait as long as you can while in active labor before you start driving to the hospital. Why? If you get there too soon, the hospital staff may send you back home, which is pretty frustrating to go back and forth. (I’ve heard of families being sent back home three times before they finally got admitted!) But even worse, the hospital could keep you there even when it’s too early for you to stay and they could decide to give you pitocin or break your water to help speed up the labor process. And if you have been reading my posts, you all know that doing these things too early in labor tremendously increase your chances of having a c-section. (Unfortunately, I have had a few clients that have had this happen to them so I can speak from experience. Read why you don’t want to be induced.) So make sure that you don’t get to the hospital too soon so you can avoid being sent home as well as avoid some unnecessary interventions.
3. Do NOT Feel Stuck
When you’re in labor, don’t feel like you have to stay in one position (unless you want to). Sometimes the hospital staff will want you to stay in the bed in a certain position because they want a good, continuous reading of your baby’s heart-rate all throughout labor. That can be incredibly uncomfortable for you and can cause your labor to become more painful and can even cause your labor to stall out. If you want to move into another position because you’re uncomfortable, go for it! It’s your body and your labor so listen to your instincts and do what feels best. The nurses will be able to work around you and keep moving the monitor until they have your baby back on the monitor.
4. Do NOT Hyperventilate or Hold Your Breath
You might think that breathing should come naturally during labor and shouldn’t be something that you have to think about. I mean you breathe in and out all day every day so what’s to think about, right? Unfortunately, that is (most of the time) untrue when it comes to labor. During labor, some mothers can get really worked up and freaked out which cause them to over-breathe or breathe too rapidly, which then can cause dizziness, numbness and tingling of the hands, feet, and/or face, and even fainting. The type of breathing that you want to do is abdominal or diaphragmatic breathing. This type of breathing is beneficial because it helps with relaxation and stress relief, it oxygenates deep tissues, and it strengthens the diaphragm.
You also want to make sure that you aren’t holding your breath during labor. The oxygen that you are breathing in is also giving oxygen to your baby. If you hold your breath, your baby’s heart-rate can start plummeting which will then cause your medical team to panic and want to get baby out immediately. We all just need to calm down and breathe. Those big deep breaths are the best thing for you and your baby. And proper breathing helps you manage the stress, provides the best oxygenation for both you and your baby, and it prepares your diaphragm to get ready for pushing a baby out.
5. Do NOT Look at the Clock
If a laboring mama has decided to have a natural birth, she can be so focused on her breathing, relaxing her muscles and everything that she’s doing to progress that she might not even pay attention to the clock. (Which is good!) If a laboring mom has decided to have an epidural, she can be taking a nap or be talking to her friends and family or watching a movie that she doesn’t even think to look at the clock. (Which is also good!) However, if you’re wondering why things are taking so long (whether you have an epidural or not), it never helps to look at a clock. Looking at the clock will only discourage you. If it’s only been a few minutes and you thought it was an hour or more you could get pretty upset that baby isn’t here yet. So don’t look at the clock. Baby will be here soon.
6. Do NOT Be Bullied
You should NEVER feel like you are being bullied during your labor and baby’s birth. If anyone is trying to push you to do something that you don’t want to do or is making you feel rushed or uncomfortable, or if they are being unsupportive of your wants and needs, stand up for yourself! As I always say, this is your body, this is your baby, and this is your experience. YOU are paying the facility fees and the people around you so you should only be treated with kindness and respect. You’re the boss! The customer is always right, right?! And you should feel happy about your experience because these moments will live with you forever so don’t settle for anything less.
Note: If you do not like your nurse or the doctor on-call taking care of you, you can always have your partner go talk to the nurse’s station, speak to the charge nurse and get a new nurse and/or a new doctor. Don’t feel bad about it! They should feel bad that they aren’t giving you the supportive experience that you deserve! And if you do not feel like you will have the strength to advocate for yourself, look into hiring a doula.
7. Do NOT Fight the Process
I’ve had clients that have completely rocked their labor and baby’s birth. Watching them go through their birth experience so seamlessly made me question what they were doing different compared to other women that I have worked with that have struggled. When I asked what they were telling themselves during their labors, they said, “I kept telling myself to surrender my body to the experience and allow the labor to open my body and not fight the process. I wanted my labor to be quick so I let my body do what it needed to do.” Powerful.
In labor you will get cues from you body; pay attention to them. If a new position doesn’t feel right to you still after a few contractions, change positions. If you feel like you need to rest, rest. If you feel like touch, massage, or a bath will help you get through things, ask for it. If you feel an overwhelming urge to do something, go do it. Just remember to remain confident in your ability to do this because you can do it. Don’t fight it! You got this, mama!
Are there any other tips of what not to do that you would like to share? Share in the comments below! 🙂