The start of motherhood can be overwhelming to many women at first. After you bring your child home from the hospital, you might be thinking a hundred different things about motherhood in your brain. And you’re not sure if any of those things are normal new mom thoughts or if those thoughts mean you’re crazy. You might feel like the only mom walking through a crowd of moms who know the normal things to do, and instead, you are the one who missed the memo!
Today, I’m here to tell you that motherhood has taught me there is no “normal.” No, it seems to be the opposite because there are many ways to feel and respond to your child. Every mom’s experience with her child is not necessarily the same as your experience with your child. And that truly is normal.
Here are just a few of the many normal new mom thoughts (as in, many women have had them). I’ve collected them from my experiences as a mom and from the feedback of my friends. See if you can relate.
Common Thoughts New Moms Have
Becoming a mom brings a wave of emotions and unexpected thoughts. If you ever wonder whether your feelings are normal, these common new-mom thoughts will reassure you.
1. This is confusing and very permanent. What do I do?
When some moms bring their babies home, the immediate adjustment to life with the baby does not feel natural. They are confused about how to do their old lives while having a tiny baby by their side. They expected the adjustment to feel instant, but it did not happen immediately. This feeling is normal.
2. This is easy. I was meant to be a mom.
Some women give birth to their babies and instantly feel overwhelmed with everything good and motherly. They have no trouble figuring out how to care for a baby. It feels natural and right. And they love it! This feeling is normal.
3. I’m not sure I was meant to be a mom. Can I give it back?
For some moms, the feeling of being a mother is not natural at first. When they hold their baby, they may not necessarily feel a strong bond. They do not necessarily feel like they enjoy nursing, feeding every two hours, rocking, or holding their baby. This feeling is normal.
4. This is boring. All my baby does is sleep.
Some women bring the baby home and end up with a baby that sleeps 95% of the time and eats and poops the other 5% of their awake time with no real fuss. This woman feels bored and confused that people describe newborns as difficult. This feeling is normal.
5. This takes up all my time. My baby never sleeps.
Some women may be prepared to simply feed, love, and cuddle their sweet and sleepy baby, only to find that their baby is awake all the time and constantly fussy. They may wonder how any mother could ever describe their experience with their newborn as sweet and enjoyable. This feeling is normal.
Related: Baby Fussiness: When It’s Normal and When It’s Not
6. This isn’t fun. Crying is so stressful. I must be a bad mom.
Some moms have babies that cry a lot (like A LOT), and no matter how sweet and patient and in love they are with their baby, it is stressful to hear non-stop crying. Even the very best of moms do not enjoy holding a crying baby. These are normal thoughts.
7. I feel sad and do not feel bonded with my baby.
Some mothers do not instantly feel a strong bond with their babies and may even experience sadness and a lack of interest in them. This is likely a form of postpartum depression, and while this is an experience of many moms, it is healthiest for you and your baby to seek treatment immediately so it does not continue and worsen. Why suffer alone when you can get treatment and enjoy your newborn? This feeling is normal.
Related: What if I Don’t Immediately Fall in Love With My Baby?
8. I love breastfeeding. What’s not to love?
For some women, breastfeeding is natural and wonderful from the start. They have lots of milk and no pain when breastfeeding. There is no stress because they simply nurse their baby when they cry, and all goes well. This feeling is normal.
9. Breastfeeding is hard, but I will do my best to persevere!
Some women are determined to breastfeed but find that nothing about it is easy. They have a low milk supply, cracked nipples, a baby with a poor latch, and so on. Some women, in these circumstances, continue, and some do not. This feeling is normal.
Related: Breastfeeding Discomforts and How To Manage Them
10. I have no interest in breastfeeding. I want to bottle feed.
Some women feel pressure to breastfeed from the start, but know that it does not feel right in their minds and hearts. They know they function better with exact measurements, timely schedules, and sharing nighttime feedings with their partner. So, they decide from the start that they do not want to breastfeed and instead choose to use formula. These are normal thoughts.
11. I want to have another one right away.
For some women, the thought of having another baby after just having their first baby, or the idea of being pregnant again, sounds romantic and wonderful. They begin craving to do it all over again, almost from the moment they have their first child. This feeling is normal.
Related: Are You Ready for Another Baby? Pros and Cons by Family Size
12. Can I wait to have another one? I never want to be pregnant again!
In my life, it seems I’ve met an equal number of mothers who love being pregnant to mothers who do not enjoy pregnancy. The last thing I can even begin to ponder is being pregnant again after delivering a baby. Some women just need to wait! These are normal thoughts.
As I mentioned above, this list doesn’t include every thought new moms have. I could keep writing for days. I hope this list reminds you that you’re not alone. Every mom’s journey is unique, and learning what feels right for you and your baby takes time — and that is okay.
