Rethinking Visitors at the Hospital After Birth

Rethinking Visitors at the Hospital After Birth | Baby Chick

Rethinking Visitors at the Hospital After Birth

When everyone hears that you’re going into labor, they all will be thrilled and ready to meet your new baby. Who doesn’t love a new baby?! You may also be super excited to show off your new pride and joy to the world. Well, I wanted to share with you a few reasons why it may not be a good idea to have visitors at the hospital after giving birth. Ok, first, let me say that this doesn’t apply to everyone in your life. Of course, if your visitors are a part of your immediate family or your BFF, this doesn’t apply to them. I’m talking about everyone else. You’re only in the hospital for a few days after your baby is born (hopefully), so you may want to tell your other guests that they can wait. Here are a few reasons why you want to rethink having visitors at the hospital and why others can wait until you’re at home.

You’ve Just Had a Baby!

newborn

Labor is quite a ride. It can be long and hard or short and hard, but however it happens, giving birth is hard work. Pheew! Once your baby has arrived, it’s almost a guarantee that you will be hungry, tired, and worn out. Even after a C-section, you won’t be feeling 100% like yourself because of all the medication in your system. You just went through major surgery and gave birth to a baby! Now think about it, when you’re exhausted and bleeding in different places, you probably aren’t in the best mood to “entertain” people. And not only that, imagine your vagina, rectum, everything down there hurting. You’re bleeding, and you’re sore, you may have hemorrhoids . . . the list goes on. And your baby is brand new. Again, you just had a baby! Take this time for you and your partner to bond with your new baby. It’s a huge moment . . which brings me to my next point.

You’ll Never Get Those Moments Back Again

Loving mother and newborn baby boy.

Speaking of it being a huge moment, remember that you will never get this time with your baby again. Your baby will never be this brand new or this little ever again. Consider taking this time and making it private to simply drink in what just happened: You became a mom. He became a dad. Give yourself a few hours or even a few days to soak in and appreciate these moments before everyone else sees you and your baby. This is a miracle that has just happened. Even if you have a ton of kids at home, don’t you want to cherish those first few hours with just you, your newest baby, and your partner? The noise, the opinions, the presents, and the love your family and friends will give you can wait.

Breastfeeding

Mother breastfeeding a baby in a hospital room

Remember that you’re trying to nurse for the first time. Even if this isn’t your first baby and isn’t your first time breastfeeding, this is your baby’s first time, so you need to take this time to get to know one another and figure breastfeeding out. If you have guests drop in to visit you all, they may be coming by when your baby is ready to eat. This is when you will need to ask yourself if you feel comfortable breastfeeding in public. Many women don’t want to whip out their boob while they have guests in their room. Imagine your dad, coworker, or your friend’s husband in the room, and your baby is ready to eat. Many moms have told me, “I’ll breastfeed after they leave.” But this shouldn’t be so. Babies need to eat on their schedule, not ours . . . especially at the beginning if you want to establish a good breastfeeding relationship.

Hormones

You may have thought that your hormones were wild during your pregnancy, but they don’t go away once your baby is here. You still have your fourth trimester, the postpartum period. The crying and emotional moments? Yeah, you may prefer to let those moments happen in front of people you are close to and comfortable breaking down in front of.

Plus, who feels great when they’re wearing a maxi pad the size of a boat, trying to poop, and dealing with chapped and/or cracked nipples and potentially huge and engorged breasts while trying to change a diaper for the first time and waddle around post-birth or C-section? Let me tell you, nobody!

Not everyone experiences major emotions/hormone swings post-birth, but many women (if not the majority) do. This is why it’s nice to feel achy and emotional without a bunch of people around.

Exhaustion

Mother and baby boy sleeping in the same hospital bed

No woman wants to entertain guests while she’s tired and sore. Again, you just had a baby! Take this time to sleep as much as you can. Your baby will be waking every few hours to eat and poop, so these first days, you should be resting and getting to know your baby without many interruptions. Soak in those moments, though. As they say, the days are long but the years are short. And try to get some sleep as you can.

Home Sweet Home

Multi Generation Family Sitting On Sofa With Newborn Baby

I’ve noticed that many of my clients have said that a lot of visitors come while they’re in the hospital, and then not come to see them once they’re home. That’s when moms need the most help, and that’s when moms need to be surrounded by support. Baby blues and postpartum depression do not usually happen while you are in the hospital. Again, you are only there for a few days. Yes, you are hormonal, but once you are at home, feeling lonely, tired, etc . . . this is when you want people to say hi and check in on you. This is why you should tell people to wait until you’re home for them to see you and your baby. They can wait a few days, right?!

No matter what you decide, I do want you to consider who you want to visit and when you want them to visit before your baby arrives. This way, you can have an idea of what to expect and can control the chaos. And if you decide while you’re there at the hospital that you don’t want someone or anyone to stop by, don’t feel bad if you need to say, “Hey, I am having a tough time with nursing/ baby and I aren’t sleeping very well yet/ I’m not feeling very well right now. Can you see me in another few days?” You don’t owe anyone an apology for holding off on visiting. All you need to focus on is you and your family!

Things Visitors SHOULD Do While Mom is in the Hospital:

  1. Send her something while she’s at the hospital. Flowers are always nice, and food is great! Either snacks or a meal is a wonderful gift since hospital food can sometimes not be the greatest.
  2. Offer to help watch her other kids while she’s at the hospital. She and her husband will really appreciate having some alone time with their newborn, and the mom will love that her partners won’t have to leave her all the time to be with the kids.
  3. Offer to help with their pets! Take their dogs for a walk or offer to feed their dogs/cat/fish/whatever.  It’s fewer trips that dad has to make so he can stay with his wife/partner and baby.
  4. Go to her house to help tidy things up. She will so appreciate coming home to a clean house. Just don’t rearrange things. She doesn’t want to go digging and searching for whatever she needs when she gets back.
  5. Stock her fridge with food and water! Make sure that the food is easy to heat up and prepare. Also, giving her a large water bottle or lots of bottled water for her to stay nourished and hydrated is the perfect gift for when she gets home.
  6. Buy her other kids some small gifts for when she gets back home with baby. Puzzles, coloring books, crafts, legos, anything that will keep them busy while she is with baby and/or nursing.

Once mom is back home, visitors can do things that will really help. Read (and share with your visitors) the best 15 things visitors can do for a new mom HERE ❤️

About the Author /

Nina is The Baby Chick® & CEO of Baby Chick®. She is a baby planner, birth doula, postpartum doula, childbirth educator, newborn care specialist, and a mother. With over eight years of experience, she has supported hundreds of families during their pregnancies, births, and postpartum journeys.

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Remember what it was like when you were home with Remember what it was like when you were home with a newborn? Remember how you felt? Tired. Sore. Swollen. Engorged. So happy to finally meet your baby but also completely exhausted. You wished you had more help. You wished you could take a break. You wished you could only focus on staring at your baby and snuggling them and not have to worry about preparing food, chores, etc.⁠
Even though things may be more difficult now to offer help, still try to be the friend you wished you had when your babies were newborns to your friends and loved ones. ❤️ Things you can do:⁠
- Drop off a meal at their door⁠
- Drop off some of your favorite postpartum recovery items or breastfeeding products you loved⁠
- Go grocery shopping for them and leave it at the door⁠
- Send them a meal delivery service gift card⁠
- Bake her some lactation cookies (if she is breastfeeding)⁠
- Drop off any hand-me-downs from your kids⁠
- Pay a housekeeping service to come over and clean her house⁠
- Set up a meal train with her friends⁠
- Drop off diapers and wipes⁠
- Self-quarantine for 2 weeks and come over to help with the house and baby so she can take a nap or a shower⁠
- Pay for a few hours for a postpartum doula or a night nanny to help her out⁠
There is so much you can do! And every little bit helps. What else would you add to the list? 💕
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However you choose to feed your baby, your baby an However you choose to feed your baby, your baby and your opinion are all that matter. If you choose and are able to breastfeed, feed your baby anywhere and everywhere HOWEVER you want to . . . with or without a cover. You have rights, mama. No need to explain or cover yourself for anybody if you don't want to. 💕⁠
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You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ 💕⁠
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When I had my first baby, everyone told me to enjoy the newborn stage because it goes fast, and I would miss it. But I was so exhausted and overwhelmed I didn’t believe them. 😴 While I was living through it, it felt like it took forever!⁠
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If you are there now or about to enter this stage, it’s a yummy, delicious, snuggly stage. But for me, it has always been one of the harder ones, every time I go through it. So I see and feel you, mama! It’s physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. Hold tight, though, because it doesn’t last forever.⁠
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So, while you are struggling to keep your eyes open, and your mental state together, here are a few things to try to savor while your baby is still a newborn. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
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Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠ by @chroni Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠
by @chroniclesofdaddy⁠
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I've been asked so many questions by men about fatherhood. So I figured I'd drop some knowledge on my fellow Dads and soon-to-be-Dads. Here's what it looks like for the first few weeks or months after your child is born. Yup. If mom breastfeeds they pretty much are tucked like this and at times you'll wonder "what is there for me to do?" Here are my top 5 tips for any Dad after your child is born.⁠
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1️⃣ For night feedings. When mom wakes up in the middle of the night, you get up and ask if she needs any help or water. The truth is most of the time she will say no but just the fact that you offered will go far.⁠
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2️⃣ Ask mom if she can pump and then pick 1 feeding that you will always do. Mom will take on almost everything and will burn herself out if you let her. At times you may have to force her to rest without worrying about the baby. This is an easy way to do that without a fight.⁠
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3️⃣ Don't put a time limit on how long mom breastfeeds the baby. It's not just about feeding your child it's about them bonding as well. I know everyone has a different length of time they will breastfeed and as a Dad, it's hard to fully understand. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try and rush this process. It's not our place and it's not safe. You will open yourself up to a fight you can't win.⁠
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4️⃣ Be patient. I know as a Dad the first few weeks we are equally excited and yet not as important. Your time will come faster than you know. Babies grow fast and the stronger and bigger they get the more Daddy Time will be coming your way.⁠
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5️⃣ Paternity leave! If you have it TAKE IT. The early stages of a child's life are not just for moms to enjoy. I know as men making the money especially after having a baby it's hard, but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn't make you more of a man to not take the leave. It's equally as important that you as a Dad get to be a part of the early development of your child. ⁠
If someone needs this info tag them ❤️⁠
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Absolutely love these tips from @chroniclesofdaddy. 🙌
7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body 7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body After Baby 🧘‍♀️⁠
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The postpartum period, or period of recovery that takes place after a mother gives birth, is an important time for mothers to take care of themselves. 🥰 Typically, if you’re less than 6 weeks postpartum you don’t want to put any pressure on your core muscles. Also, your body’s levels of relaxin, the hormone that loosens joints to prepare for childbirth, is elevated for 3-6 months after childbirth, and longer if you are breastfeeding. All this means is: take these postpartum yoga poses slowly and stretch yourself gently. No gymnastics here or pushing beyond what is comfortable.⁠
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Remember, every mama’s body is different, so listen to how you feel and seek advice from a medical professional if you have questions about how and when to begin your personal exercise plan. Note: Try to do the following yoga poses in the order they are listed. {Click 🔗 in bio to see the 7 yoga poses to strengthen your body after baby!⁠}⁠
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📷 taken by: @allisonermon_photography