Life with kids can feel nonstop. Between work, school schedules, meals, laundry, activities, and trying to keep up with everyday responsibilities, it’s easy to feel like the days are moving too fast.
Many parents want to spend more intentional time with their children but struggle to figure out where that time is supposed to come from. And when life feels overwhelming, it’s often the small moments of connection that disappear first.
The good news is that intentional parenting doesn’t always require huge amounts of extra time. In many cases, it’s more about the quality of time you spend together than the quantity of time you have available. Sometimes, small changes in how we structure our day, use technology, or approach routines can create more meaningful moments with our kids.
Ways To Be More Intentional With Your Kids
When life feels busy or overwhelming, creating more meaningful moments with your kids often starts with small, realistic changes to your daily routines and habits.
1. Plan Ahead To Reduce Daily Stress
Preparation is the only way we will be able to use our time more efficiently. This has been a tough lesson for me to learn over many years. I’ve always struggled with procrastination, mostly because I am also a perfectionist. (I am embarrassed to admit that sometimes I need the drama of an impending deadline to get me moving.)
What do I recommend? Keep a planner, if you don’t already, and consult it regularly. I have gotten to the point where I like to plan my day the night before. I pack lunches and snacks and lay out clothes every night after dinner. Backpacks, nap mats, and any other necessary items are ready and waiting by the front door. This helps make mornings easier on school days.
I also try not to have more than three major items on my to-do list each day, outside of meals, school drop-off and pick-up, dishes, laundry, and regularly scheduled naps. You know, the non-negotiables. I make a tentative schedule for when these items are supposed to happen. That way, I don’t become overwhelmed amid the daily chaos. And my chances of actually getting things done improve significantly
Preparing a tentative schedule for the day has the bonus of helping you better identify pockets of time to spend special, intentional time with each of your kiddos. Even 10 or 15 extra intentional minutes with your child can make a meaningful difference.
Related: 30 School Lunch Ideas That Are Easy and Healthy
2. Be More Intentional With Multitasking
Choose the correct times and activities. Are you playing with your toddler? Probably not a great time to (also) reorganize your hall closet. Or, if your kids are anything like mine, you will end up with blue ballpoint pen ink all over your beige suede furniture.
Be present; play intentionally. Give your child 20 to 30 minutes of undivided attention. Then, when she’s napping, feel free to tackle that closet (or the giant pile of laundry). You will feel better about how you’ve spent your time, you will probably finish the task more quickly as you won’t have been distracted, and you will feel more connected and emotionally supported.
The best way to multitask efficiently is to combine something that requires no mental energy with something that requires (some) attention, like cleaning up the dinner dishes while quizzing your elementary student on this week’s spelling words. Let me reiterate: This does not mean disappearing into your smartphone or answering emails at the dinner table. That’s why being intentional with technology matters, too.
Related: 7 Tips for Successfully Multitasking as a Mom
3. Put Down the Phone and Be Present
Technology is a double-edged sword. All of this stuff that’s supposed to make our lives simpler and easier has added its own clutter.
In fact, for many of us, all of the distractions have made us less effective. Take a long, hard look at yourself. Are you spending too much time scrolling social media or using a device? Better yet, ask your children what they think. Young children are often surprisingly honest about these things. At least when it comes to this kind of thing. They may lie about eating their vegetables, but that’s a topic for another day.
Every now and then, my preschooler will come into my home office and (forcefully) shut my laptop—that’s usually my clue that it’s time for a break. Other times, she has taken my smartphone out of my hands and yelled, “No more, Mommy!” Yikes. That is not the kind of parent I want to be. She’s four—she’s bound to start remembering some of this stuff.
Getting lost on Facebook or Pinterest may seem like a small thing, but it can be a huge time-suck. I promise the world will not end if you don’t check your newsfeed every five minutes. Instead, put down the phone, turn off the computer, and build a Lego castle with your kid. That, by far, is time well spent.
Related: Keeping Balance With Your Phone as a Mom
Simple Ways To Create More Intentional Time
If you’re struggling to slow down or feel more present with your family, these small changes may help you create more intentional moments throughout your day.
1. Try deleting (or taking a break) from the app or device that seems to be sucking the most time.
2. Silencing or shutting down these devices for a set period of time (every day) can also help. I constantly have to remind myself—especially as a work-from-home mom—that boundaries are important and that it’s perfectly acceptable to take time for myself, my husband, and my girls.
Otherwise, I will end up wondering where my life and all these precious busy years went.
3. Disappearing from social media isn’t an option for me nowadays (it’s my livelihood), but limiting the amount of time I spend is. Deciding that I am only going to work and use social media during specific hours has made a world of difference. Of course, some days are definitely easier than others. But being more intentional has definitely helped with some of the time-suck and makes me a better parent.
Time is a gift, and the little everyday moments with our kids often matter more than we realize. Choosing to be more intentional with our attention, routines, and boundaries can help us feel more connected as a family.
Even small moments of connection can leave a lasting impact on children over time. When we become more mindful about how we spend our time, we not only enjoy these years more fully, but we also create memories our children will carry with them for years to come.
