When you become a mother, it can be easy to have the mindset that you are the sole provider for your new baby. You will likely find yourself burning the candle at both ends, trying to do it all. This kind of mindset will very quickly make you lose your marbles! While it is true that you are likely the most important person in that little one’s life, for now, all of the work doesn’t need to fall on your shoulders. The following steps can help you keep your sanity as a new mom and enjoy this season of your life better.
1. Include Your Partner
It’s essential for your baby (and their dad) to include the child’s dad in everyday tasks. The bonding that takes place during daily activities is irreplaceable. Things like tummy time, baths, storytime, and bedtime are great ways for dads to participate in the everyday tasks of raising a baby and provide you with a priceless half hour to regain your sanity. Take this time to do something that recharges your batteries.
As a new mom, sharing responsibilities with your partner is essential for keeping your sanity. When I decided to let my husband help me with these things, I wanted to jump right in at the slightest sign of a struggle. If I heard fussing (from either my son or his dad), I would run to the rescue at the cost of my “me time.” So, I removed myself from the situation by going out of earshot. This also took some adjusting on my husband’s part. If I removed myself, he would summon me for the slightest issue. I gently reminded him that this was a learning experience for us both and that I trusted him to use his best judgment to handle whatever issue.
After a week or so, I can honestly say we were all much happier. My son was over the moon with the one-on-one attention he was receiving from his dad. My husband felt appreciated because he was able to help me after not being able to help with so many other things (breastfeeding, sleepless days, my healing body, and balancing hormones). And I was beside myself with joy at the increments of freedom I had to relax fully. Eventually, you’ll even be able to call up the girls and go out for a movie or a cocktail. That’s a great way to keep your sanity as a new mom!
2. Eating, Showering, and Using the Restroom Cannot Be Put Off
As a new mom (especially a breastfeeding new mom), I quickly learned that I had to eat. It sounds like a no-brainer, but when you are caught up in sleeping as long as you can, feeding your new baby, and trying to get them to sleep, you might find that it has been many hours since you last ate something. Your body needs nutrients to heal after childbirth and maintain energy to care for your little one. If you are breastfeeding, eating will be even more critical, as your body burns an extra 500 calories daily.
Showering can also become one of the lowest priorities. Even if my son didn’t need anything, I couldn’t wrap my mind around leaving him unsupervised for 15 minutes while I showered. Even if he was safe in his bassinet, I wasn’t comfortable with it. The same goes for using the restroom, which is inevitable. Something had to give, or I would lose my sanity for sure.
I had to learn to give myself the time to do these essential things without fear. I had been told, “If the baby is warm, fed, dry, and in a safe place, they’ll be okay for a little while.” Holding fast to these words, I climbed nervously into the shower and began to relax . . . for about 3 minutes. When my son started to cry, I jumped out of the shower and ran, soaking wet, to the bassinet. Of course, my son was safe and sound. It took some practice, but after a while, I let my son fuss a bit while doing my business. And guess what? He survived, and so did I. This leads me to my last point.
3. Teach Your Child to Trust You
I could shower, use the restroom, and do various other tasks over time because I built trust with my son. Being away from him for short periods and returning to comfort him and meet his needs showed him that I would always be there to take care of him. He began to understand there was no need to panic if he could not see me. He realized that I would always be there if he got hungry or needed to be changed or comforted.
I practiced this with him a little bit every day. I would change his diaper and then lay him in his crib while I went to wash my hands. Later, I would put him in his swing and do something like take the trash out. Every day, I extended my time away from him a little more. I would change his diaper, wash my hands, and get coffee. The next day I would wash my hands, get a cup of coffee then get dressed. Within a few days, I could put my son in his swing and make dinner. He would only fuss once or twice and be completely fine once I walked into the room.
There’s no doubt that your little one needs you more than anybody. You are the most critical person in their small world, and your responsibilities are enormous. But don’t let becoming a mother allow you to sacrifice your sanity. As a new mom, it’s easy to forget that your child needs you to take care of yourself to take care of them. So, if you are starting to feel a bit frazzled, consider these tips and remember to provide yourself with what you need to maintain your health and happiness.
