6 Tips to Help You Parent as a Team with Your Partner

6 Tips to Help you Parent as a Team with Your Partner | Baby Chick

6 Tips to Help You Parent as a Team with Your Partner

The day you find out you’re having a baby, you become a parent in your heart. And the moment you hold your baby in your arms, you become a parent in your soul. But the day your sweet little prince(ss) first talks back to you with a cute and dramatic little smirk, you become a parent in your mind. Because that tiny little human that shares your hair, eyes, and dimples is watching and waiting to see how you will respond.

But just as you are getting ready to sweep in with a loving yet firm response, your partner chuckles and ruins it all by saying, “Oh, sweetie. You look just like your mama when you talk like that. And you couldn’t be cuter!” Suddenly, you feel panicked that your partner just let her off the hook for disrespect and you can’t help but feel that if you don’t get a handle on this now, she will one day become “Ms. Sassy Universe 2036.” You can even see her thanking her Dad on stage for her sassiness—all the while you still wonder where her flair for drama is coming from.

Well it’s true. Parenting IS hard. And seeing eye to eye in parenting with your partner can be harder. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing if you do a few things to get started off on the right foot to parent as a team. So that one day when you’re both trying to parent together, you don’t wind up with a foot in your mouth. Here’s six tips for how to parent as a team.

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Step One: Discuss How Your Parents Parented You

One of the best ways to figure out the way you want to be as a parent is to evaluate how your parents raised you. It’s likely that you and your spouse were not parented in the same ways. It’s smart to ask yourself things like, “Were my parents authoritative, permissive, strict, lenient? Were they involved, distant or way too nosy?” Discuss these traits with your partner and tell stories that give examples of these types of things. The more you can uncover and understand about the way you were raised, the more prepared you will be for step 2!

Step Two: List Out the Pros and Cons to the Way You Were Parented

Now that you’ve come up with a list of words to describe your parents’ parenting style toward you, begin to discuss why you like or dislike the way in which they did things. If they were strict, discuss ways in which that benefited you. If they were too lenient, discuss ways in which that did not work out well for you. Consider the things you think they did well. Consider the things that did not go well. And then begin to decide which things you would want to emulate toward your own child. And what things you would never want to repeat.

Step Three: Pick One or Two Words to Define Your Parenting Style

Now that you’ve analyzed your upbringing, it’s time to pick your parenting style. This part is challenging but can also be fun. It certainly requires thought, but our children are worth it. Right? So a great way to do this is to think: “What words do I want my children to say guided my parenting style? My mom or dad was __________________ when they parented me.” Then fill in the blank. Do you want that word to be loving, patient, consistent, firm, teaching, gentle, etc.? Then also consider what you don’t want that word to be . . . angry, impatient, reactive or inconsistent. Once you’ve figured out what words you like, say this phrase with your partner, “We want to be ­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­______________________ parents.” Practice embracing your decision.

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Step Four: Create an Action Plan to Parent as a Team

Now that you know what kind of parents you want to be, take time to discuss how this will play out. Go over certain instances and come to agreement about how you want to handle these things. Ask each other, “How will we respond when they run away? How will we respond when they get out of bed? How will we respond when they talk back?” Talk through challenging situations you’re experiencing so you have a pre-determined response to keep up with your goal to parent as a team.

Step Five: Read Some Parenting Books Together

It is sometimes hard to know how you want to respond to things until you have ideas. Luckily, there are so many great parenting books that exist in the world today! And books that help with pretty much every area of parenting. These books can really help you discover who you want to be as a parent as well as give you and your partner ideas for moving forward. A few of my favorites are Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman and Scream-Free Parenting by Hal Runkel.

Step Six: Create Protocol for What to Do When You Don’t Agree

Lastly, in order to parent well as a team, it’s a must that you don’t fight with one another about parenting in front of your children. They are smart and will learn quickly if they can play one parent against the other. And that is something you never want to happen. So discuss how you will handle a situation with one another if you disagree. This may be telling the child you have to take a moment to discuss consequences. This may be saying you will take turns letting a partner parent their way if you can’t see eye to eye on how to handle a situation. Whatever it is, come up with a game plan that allows you all to remain a united front in front of your children. This will not only help you parent as a team, but will also benefit your relationship.

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About the Author /

Quinn is a wife, boy mom (x’s 4), blogger at Sanctification and Spitup, host of the Renew You Podcast and licensed marriage and family therapist. She loves to encourage others in relationships through her speaking, writing or podcast episodes.

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Instagram post 17852873872664390 Harvesting colostrum . . . look at all of that liquid gold!⁠ 😍 If your baby comes early or you are already lactating before baby arrives, it’s great to hand express into a teaspoon and gather what you’ve collected into a syringe. #breastfeedingtip
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Instagram post 17893588471419368 ⁠Gosh, they can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. But then when they stop and look at you with those puppy dog eyes, you can’t help but scoop them up and love on them. They might be a pain in the ass but they are YOUR pain in the ass. 😂❤️ (From one mother of a strong-willed--read exhausting and opinionated--kid to another!)⁠
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Becoming a new mother, whether it be your first baby or your sixth, is filled with so many emotions. 🎢 Figuring out your new normal can take a minute as you recover from giving birth and get to know your new baby. People will be at your doorstep in no time wanting to congratulate you and meet your baby, but sometimes people aren't necessarily thinking about what they can do for YOU to be helpful. If you know someone who has recently had a baby or if you are currently expecting, today’s podcast episode is for you! ❤️ {Link in bio!}⁠
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This episode is brought to you by @skylightframe. It's a digital picture frame that has a touch-screen display that documents all of your family’s special moments—a great gift for yourself or for an expecting or new mom. If you want to bring a nice gift when visiting a new mom, be sure to check out Skylight Frame and use our discount code BABYCHICK for $10 off your order! #ad #skylightframe⁠
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Going to keep it real here, your fitness game is going to change after having kids. If you were crushing it before having babies, you're going to find that the free time for working out isn't what is used to be.⁠
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Regardless of where you were at, there are things you can do to make your heath a priority and be a good example to your little ones.⁠
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1. Don't rush back. There's no gold star here. Take your time, get the clearance from your OB/midwife and start when you're ready.⁠
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2. Schedule your workouts. Like most things in life now, you're on a schedule. Create time in your new life for you -- you'll thank yourself later.⁠
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3. Ask for Help. Chances are high that the Mom down the street is looking for some kid free time as well. You take an hour, she takes an hour and we're all better off for it.⁠
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4.  Embrace the little things. Your day will present opportunities to get your butt moving. Find them.⁠
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5. Get a new outfit. Because, duh.⁠
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6. Join a fitness community. It's scientifically proven that external motivators work when it comes to starting and sticking with a fitness routine. Utilize your community for support and motivation.⁠
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When you meet your baby(ies) and your whole world changes. 💕
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Speak your partner's love language in postpartum. Send this resource to your loved one so that they can make you feel loved and supported in a meaningful way.⁠
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Instagram post 17934950050319412 EXACTLY! 🙌 I wish more moms knew this and didn't feel pressured to say yes automatically to guests--of course, unless they want to! 😊 But you can always say no and not right now. Take your time to bond with your new baby. If you want people to come over, great! But don't feel bad if you don't and want more time alone with your family. People who love you should understand. ❤️⁠
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Instagram post 17857907638591275 Dinner time with toddlers can oftentimes be hectic and stressful. Sometimes they’ll eat what you’ve made them and other times they won’t. 😒 We’ve been there! This is why we are sharing two yummy dinner recipes that have been toddler approved that the whole family can enjoy—Taco Pizza and Stuffed Sweet Potatoes! 😋
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We substituted sour cream in these recipes with @stonyfield YoBaby yogurt because it provides not only the calcium they need, but also probiotics, protein and vitamin D! 👍 (Our pediatrician says our little guy needs 2-4 servings of dairy per day!) The yogurt still has that tangy flavor that you’re looking for but with even more benefits! Cheers to full tummies and happy families! 🙌 #ad #stonyfield
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