As you’ve probably seen on Baby Chick’s Instagram page, I’ve been visiting several new moms and their babies lately. And every time, I’m reminded how much support a new mother truly needs during those first weeks postpartum.
As a doula, I see firsthand how physically and emotionally demanding this stage can be. Something as simple as dropping off a meal, folding laundry, or helping with errands can make a huge difference for a family adjusting to life with a newborn.
Thankfully, most people genuinely want to lend a hand. Even small acts of support can make a meaningful difference during the postpartum period. They just aren’t always sure what to do. So, here are some of the best and most meaningful ways to support a new mother after baby arrives.
Recovering during the postpartum period while caring for a newborn can feel overwhelming, which is why practical support matters so much during postpartum recovery.
Thoughtful Ways To Support a New Mom
When you visit a new mom, these thoughtful and practical gestures can help her feel supported, cared for, and a little less overwhelmed.
Practical Everyday Help
1. Drop Off Food
New parents don’t have the energy to make or even think about what they will have for a meal. Shoot, they sometimes also need to be reminded to stop and eat! Be a dear and drop off a meal to them, preferably something they can throw in the fridge or freezer and then microwave later. Please do NOT ring the doorbell when you are at their door! (By doing that, you could wake up mom and or baby. Not cool!) Give the door a knock (assuming they don’t have dogs), and if no one answers, text them that the food is waiting at their doorstep. Whenever possible, ask before stopping by so the family can rest and prepare for visitors.
If you are coming by unannounced, the family probably doesn’t feel like making small talk, so leave the food with a text and go on your way. Don’t worry. This should only last a few months, so you will see your friend soon.
Related: 12 Postpartum Freezer Meals You’ll Love
2. Set Up a Meal Train
This is probably the best thing you can do for a new parent. Mealtrain.com is seriously a new mom’s best friend. Set it up so that you, a bunch of friends, and their family members can pitch in to ensure the new parents are fed during those crazy first days and months. If you are the leader of the meal train, you can provide everybody with a list of their favorite foods, restaurants to order from (and specific orders), and grocery store items. You want to get the new parents a combination of healthy meals, snacks, and a few sweet treats.
3. Bring Diapers and Wipes
If you’re not bringing the family food, bring something useful. No parent can ever have enough diapers or wipes. This is always a safe and much-needed gift for a postpartum mom to bring. Be sure to ask what size is appropriate first! You don’t want to get them the wrong size.
4. Help Clean Around the House
If money is a little tight or the mother doesn’t need you to bring anything, offer to help clean up around the house. She will probably say no, but do it anyway. She will honestly be so grateful and glad that you did. Look around and see where you can pitch in.
Here are some things to look for:
- Does the dishwasher need to be emptied and refilled?
- Does her kitchen counter or bathroom counter need to be wiped down?
- Is the trash or diaper pail full and needs to be taken out?
- Does the laundry need to be folded?
- Do bottles need to be cleaned and or sanitized?
If you want to do something extra nice (and have the cash to do it), pay for a housekeeper to come by and clean their home. You and a few friends could pitch in and get this for their family as a gift. She will love it!
Related: How to Help the Tired Mom Before She Asks
5. Watch the Older Kids
The new mom is probably dying to take a nap, shower, bath, or all three! Offer to come by and watch all of her kiddos (if she has more than one) and tell her to take all the time she needs. Even if you are just watching her older children, you can give her some uninterrupted alone time with her newborn.
6. Help Out with Her To-Do List
She may have a whole list of things to do! Maybe she needs to run to the pharmacy to pick up her medications, get her dry cleaning, or buy more diapers. She might want assistance finishing her ‘Thank You’ notes and someone to drop them off at the post office. She may need you to find and call a lactation consultant or a postpartum doula. Even taking a few things off her mental load can help a mother feel more supported.
You can either go with her and baby to run errands because she might love getting out of the house, or offer to run the errands for her. Something like filling her car tank with gas would be greatly appreciated.
Supporting Mom Emotionally
7. Don’t Immediately Ask to Hold the Baby
Sometimes the best way to care for a new baby is by caring for the mother first. After welcoming a baby, everyone wants to come over to meet the newest addition. There’s nothing wrong with that! But the new mom needs support and attention, too. While some mothers are excited to have a friend come over for an adult conversation and to have someone other than themselves hold the baby, other moms don’t want to hand over their child immediately.
Be a good friend and be present for the mother. Ask how she is doing. Talk about her and show that you are there for her and her family. After a while, you can ask to hold the baby. If she says yes, then move on to number 8…
Related: How to Be a Good Friend to a New Mom
8. Wash Your Hands Before Holding the Baby
Many new parents are super germ-conscious, so wash your hands. Extra points if you do it without them having to ask!
9. Stay Calm if the Baby Cries
If you didn’t already know this, babies cry. This is one of the ways that babies communicate. Don’t freak out when the little one starts to whimper in your arms, and immediately hand the little one back to mom. She has to soothe her baby all day and night, so be helpful and calm the baby yourself. If baby is still fussy after your attempts, then hand the baby over to mom. New mothers want to see you confident while being around and holding their baby, so panicking can make them feel more anxious, too. Remaining calm can help everyone feel more at ease.
Related: 11 Ways to Soothe a Fussy Baby
Helping Her Recover and Rest
10. Help With Baby Gear and Products
Who knew that there was so much baby stuff? Some of it can be pretty difficult, too. Ask the new mom if she needs support figuring out any of these new products. She may need support learning how to use her baby carrier, cloth diapers, bottle sterilizer, baby bouncer, etc.
Look them up on YouTube or read the manual if you don’t know how to assemble and/or use them. She already has enough on her plate, trying to take care of herself while caring for her family and newborn. Learning how to use these things will help make her journey through motherhood easier.
11. Pamper the New Mom
Other great things postpartum moms love to receive are gift certificates to get a massage (postnatal massages are the best and can help her body heal), a haircut or blowout, or a mani/pedi. Her body has been through a lot after giving birth, so getting pampered is precisely what she needs. Either offer to babysit so that she can get out of the house, or (if she wants to keep the baby close) offer to go with her and watch her little one while she gets some much-deserved pampering.
Related: How Dads Can Help a New Mom
Meaningful Long-Term Support
12. Take Some Photos
Most moms are usually the ones taking the pictures, so they are usually unable to be in them. Offer to come by with your nice camera (or use her smartphone) to snap photos of the glowing momma and her baby. And if the dad/partner is there, even better! Take some pictures of their new family. It’s rare for them to have photos of all of them together. And their little one will only get bigger and change every day.
13. Offer Overnight Support
If you’re a really good friend or family member, offer to assist overnight. (Of course, ensure everyone feels comfortable with that first.) Being able to bring her baby to her when the newborn needs to eat and then putting the baby back to sleep for her or feeding the baby with a bottle while the mother and dad/partner catch up on some sleep is an incredibly kind gift. She will forever remember and be grateful for that.
14. If You’re There During the Day, Don’t Stay Too Long
She’s been up all night and all day with her newborn. There is only so much time she can carry on a coherent conversation. If you’re there to watch the baby while the mom sleeps, stay as long as she needs you! But if you are there to catch up with her, make it brief. Be understanding and know that this is temporary.
Related: What to Do (And NOT Do) When Visiting a New Baby
15. Get Them a Postpartum Doula
Keep the help coming! As time passes, some things get easier, but new challenges often come up, too. Consider hiring a postpartum doula to support the new mom during those first few months. (You can contact DONA International or look at DoulaMatch.net to see if there are doulas in her area that can help.) Once the newborn stage is over, keep offering your help with the tasks above. The good thing is, when it’s your turn, these mothers will do the same for you. 🙂
It truly takes a village to care for the new mom, especially during the early postpartum weeks. The little things, whether it’s dropping off dinner, helping with errands, or simply checking in, can make a new mom feel seen, cared for, and less alone.
If you know someone who recently welcomed a baby, showing up for them in thoughtful ways may mean more than you realize. And one day, when it’s your turn, that same support will likely come back to you, too.
