Everyone has heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” But what about the mother?
After a baby is born, the focus often shifts entirely to the child, and moms can feel overlooked. While the excitement is natural, mothers need just as much support, especially during the fourth trimester and beyond. Here is why having a village matters so much.
Key Takeaways
- Moms need support just as much as children do
- A strong support system provides guidance and reassurance
- Shared experiences help reduce isolation
- A trusted village can improve confidence and well-being
Why Every Mom Needs a Village
Support from others can make a meaningful difference in how a mother navigates the challenges and joys of raising a child.
Support and Advice From Other Moms
Getting advice from fellow moms who have been in your shoes can be incredibly helpful. Experience is often the best teacher. And many moms are eager to support one another with advice that has worked for them. You might receive a lot of unsolicited and unwelcome advice. Some might be helpful and some might not. Remember to take only the advice that serves you and your baby. Of course, all moms need to learn what works best for themselves and their little ones, but it certainly helps to have a starting point.
Being a new mom is so overwhelming. I vividly remember regularly turning to my mom and my ‘mom friends‘ for advice. I was so grateful to have them!
Empathy
No one can better empathize with a struggling mom than another mom who has been through it or is currently going through it. Being a mom is hard work! Motherhood requires an incredible amount of emotional, mental, and physical effort as you raise a child.
Sometimes, you just need someone to acknowledge that your feelings are valid and that whatever you are feeling is entirely normal. It helps remove the feelings of loneliness and isolation when someone can reassure you that they are experiencing the same things or have been in your shoes and that it can and will get better.
Shared Experience and Real-Life Insight
There is an inherent sense of tribal knowledge among moms. The experience you gain simply by mothering, making mistakes (yes, we all make mistakes even if it seems like we have it all together), and learning from those mistakes is invaluable. Learning from the mistakes you and others make while walking the journey of parenthood is something you cannot learn from a book alone.
Gadgets and guidelines change from generation to generation. With today’s technology, things change even faster regarding what is safe and acceptable for child-rearing. Learning from the knowledge your friends and family have gained through experience is still incredibly valuable.
Diversity of Thought
Every mom I know tends to approach scenarios with their children differently, even if the differences are slight. I often turn to my mom friends and my own mom for their thoughts. Each of them has different experiences that shape their opinions.
At times, multiple opinions can be overwhelming. But it usually helps me think logically about a problem and determine the best way to move forward for my family. My favorite advice that I have received as a mom is from women who think differently than I do. Diversity in your village is critical to helping you learn and develop into the strong and confident mother you are!
The Internet Is Not Always Reliable
Searching on the internet for your concerns or problems regarding your experiences in motherhood can be pretty frightening. So often, the results that land at the top of a search results page can be worst-case scenarios. Going to my network of moms has helped me filter out some of the scarier parts of the internet but allows me to raise alarms to our medical care team or other professionals when necessary.
My son had an expressive speech delay. Without my network of mom friends, I would have never gotten him the diagnosis and help he needed practically and effectively. Searching on the internet sent me into a tailspin with misleading information. The steps it offered toward early intervention were vague and unclear. This is one situation that I would have never been able to find on the internet!
Raising children is hard, and it is even harder to do it alone. Having a trusted circle of support can make all the difference.
Find your village, lean on them, and hold onto those connections. They will be one of your most valuable resources throughout motherhood.
