A Look Inside the Life of a Boy Mom
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Quinn Kelly is a busy wife and mother of four boys as well as a marriage and family therapist. She hopes to encourage other moms with laughter and honesty and help remind them that the best part about motherhood has nothing to do with being the “perfect” mom or raising the “perfect” kids, but instead enjoying yourself and your children along the way.
If you like what you are reading and want to hear more from Quinn, follow her personal blog Sanctification and Spitup, which is also found on Facebook.
So you found out you are having an adorable bundle of blue. And whether you dreamed of having a little man your entire life, or you are still struggling to imagine yourself with a little boy in your arms — ready or not, here he comes! The time has come to prepare for his arrival.
And as a mother of four little boys, I not only have the resume for teaching you about what’s to come with raising a son, but I also absolutely LOVE of being a mother of boys—which is why I’m getting ready to share my best tips with you on life with boys.
But let me start by saying, you are in for a treat. So let Operation BOY MOM prep commence!
Prepare to Become a Queen
The first thing you need to know about your little boy is that from the moment he looks into your eyes, you are his first love. When he’s grown he may love another woman, but he will love you his whole life. And there is something so sweet and precious about the love that happens between a mother and her son. Sons have an innate desire to protect you, to see you as beautiful and to crave your affirmation. You will always be their queen. And he will always be your prince. Savor the beauty of that special connection. They will go from energetic to a pile of soft cuddly mush in your arms.
Prepare for Physicality
Now the connection your son craves with you or his peers may at times be rougher than you may like. Boys are physical. Boys are innately rough. Boys often show love by getting physical. So your son may be sitting and cuddling on your lap one moment, then try and tackle you down to the floor the next. This is not in an effort to hurt you, although it might. It is actually just his innate desire to move and be free. And that often seems most fun when he’s moving with someone else. So prepare to, at times, become a wrestling partner. Or to see little boys who are wrestling one another around the house. They need that connection! So instead of continually trying to stop this from happening, find productive outlets for him to release it. (I am a huge fan of the trampoline!)
Prepare for Different Kinds of Play
If I could give you one tip, just know that little boys don’t always get as much of a kick out of putting something together as they might get from destroying it. While a little girl may spend hours creating a beautiful world of play dough animal creations, a little boy might get the most satisfaction from mixing those creations into one big ball of brown. I’ve learned to let them enjoy playing in the way they enjoy, instead of trying to make it into something I would enjoy. If they would rather tear a cardboard box into pieces and laugh about it all the way instead of turning it into a house, so be it! And of course boys will create and build, too. It can go both ways.
Prepare to Need Durable House Items
For instance, I avoid wearing white nor do I buy them white clothing. Or if I do, I make sure it’s inexpensive. It’s just not worth the struggle. And I would never keep white linen cloth chairs at my kitchen table because I know I would be setting myself up to be frustrated with spills. (This may not only be a boy mom thing.) I also do not buy tables with glass or keep breakable items. Instead of having a glass vase, I have a metal one. Instead of having a cloth ottoman, I have a leather ottoman that is wipeable! I would rather spend my time enjoying my sons, than being worried that they will destroy something in my house. However, I do have a decorated house that I love—I just have intentional pieces in it!
Prepare for Male Body Parts on Display
Little boys are comfortable with their bodies and their man parts. So you will see them. And you will see lots of them. It’s your job to teach them about boundaries and safety with putting those parts on display, but you will quickly learn that they are born with an innate love affair with those parts. And that’s not just okay. It’s normal. So don’t panic. Just cover your eyes. 😉
Prepare to Guide Energy
I always kid that one of my main jobs as a boy mom is looking for productive ways to guide their energy. If we sit too long, they end up getting wild. So it’s smart to be proactive about finding ways to exert that energy. If we have been sedentary half the day, I know that we will probably benefit from taking a bike ride, or going outside to play.
Prepare for Noise
A house with boys can have noise. And lots of it. Whether banging on pots and pans, running around wrestling, or just being purely goofy and loud, I notice my house tends to be louder than other houses. And it’s not really until other people come over and point out the noise level that I even notice. Apparently, tolerance slowly builds. My boys like to play, and with that comes noise! And instead of stopping the play, I just try and regulate noise. If you seek to eliminate it, your children will be frustrated. So I think it’s important to know that a little noise isn’t bad! In fact, it probably means you have fun going on. You just have to find a level that works for all parties.
Prepare to be Sweet Talked Day after Day after Day
I am convinced that little boys are preprogrammed to be our greatest admirers. My boys are so beyond attached to me, it’s humbling. I think of that when people show me pity for having all boys. I often want to say, you wouldn’t feel bad for me if you heard some of the things I hear in a week. “Mommy, you look pretty in that necklace.” “Mommy, you’re beautiful!” “Mommy, will you marry me?” The other night I was putting my oldest son to bed and as I kissed him, he sweetly said, “You’re my shooting star.” I mean I have my own personal poets at my disposal daily. What could be better?
Becoming a boy mom is many things, but at the top of that list is a privilege! May you enjoy every minute of the loud, wild, and super sweet journey of raising little boys…
Cheers to Boys!