To say my husband and I were utterly terrified when we came home from the hospital with our newborn is an understatement. Gone were the feelings of excitement and awe for his newly decorated nursery. Suddenly, that bassinet next to our bed seemed daunting and scary. As soon as we walked through the door and our funny farm brood of animals came to greet us, I turned to my husband and said, “Here we go!”
That first night was filled with exhaustion, fear, and pain. I was recovering from a fourth-degree tear and pumping around the clock. I was trying to syringe-feed my breast milk to my son using an NG tube, alternating with my breast because he wouldn’t latch. My son also wouldn’t stop crying, and my husband and I traded him back and forth every hour to get some rest.
And I’ll tell you what else didn’t get any rest that night: my phone and my Google search bar. I desperately searched things like “newborn feeding schedules,” “how many dirty diapers are normal,” and “why won’t my newborn sleep?”
What I didn’t know then is something science now makes clear: new moms can trust their instincts, even when everything feels overwhelming. This article explores the science behind maternal instincts — from scent and voice recognition to bonding and emotional connection.
How Science Confirms New Moms’ Instincts
Research continues to show that a mother’s intuition is rooted in biology, bonding, sensory recognition, and hormonal changes.
What I wish I had known then that I know now is that new mothers can trust their instincts. We are built for this job. We’ve got this, mamas! We need to focus on the little moments that prove this is true, not only during the first few months of your baby’s life but also in motherhood.
Moms are connected to their babies through an undeniable bond and have incredible instincts about them. Science is starting to show how true this is. These instincts begin during pregnancy, preparing the perfect environment for our babies to thrive. Here are some ways science proves that new mothers can trust their instincts.
Why Do Moms Nest Before a Baby Arrives?
At the end of a woman’s pregnancy, she may find herself unable to resist the urge to clean, organize, and prepare her home for her new baby. This maternal instinct is observed in animals and can be seen when animal mothers prepare a “nest” or a space for their babies, ensuring they are safe and secure upon arrival.8 While they won’t be dropping dollars on the perfect mobile or bedding, the animalistic instinct to prepare a space spans all species, including us.
According to a 2013 study, researchers found that women exhibit nesting behaviors, including space preparation and social selectivity.1 These behaviors peak in the third trimester of pregnancy. Similar to mammals, nesting in women may serve a protective function.2 “Providing a safe environment helps to promote bonding and attachment between both the mother and infants,” says Marla Anderson, lead author of the study.
Do Moms’ and Babies’ Hearts Sync When They’re Together?
Talk about having your heart living outside of your body. According to a study from Israel, researchers discovered that when mothers and babies look at each other and when mothers interact with babies in general, they coordinate their heart rhythms within “lags less than one second.” The study also showed that 3-month-old infants and their mothers could synchronize their heartbeats to milliseconds when sharing a smile. Interestingly, this only worked for mothers with their own babies, not for someone else’s.3
Why Do Newborns Smell So Good to Moms — and Why You Smell Good to Them?
You know and love that newborn baby smell if you’re a parent. It’s intoxicating and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. But why is that? It turns out that our baby’s scent truly gives us a dopamine hit. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology reveals that the scent of our baby activates our brain’s pleasure and reward centers. It’s a response similar to eating delicious food, which explains why we want to eat our babies up because they’re so cute. However, so we don’t commit cannibalism, the study notes that the odor motivates a parent to care for the infant. Smelling your baby’s head is like a “biological reward.” Thankfully.4
This smell is unique to just you and your baby. One study found that 90% of moms can identify their baby’s smell. Another study found that babies respond to their mom’s scent, too.5,6
Can Babies Smell You When You Enter the Room? (Especially if You’re Breastfeeding)
This recognition of scent can begin while the baby is in the womb, according to a study published in Communicative & Integrative Biology. Per the study, “[t]he emotional relationship between mother and baby begins with mutual recognition, which starts during gestation and continues through birth.” “Imprinting” occurs through visual, auditory, and olfactory (sense of smell) learning. The study notes that learning through the sense of smell begins in utero, allowing the infant to locate its mother after birth. It’s all about the pheromones.6
If you breastfeed your baby, you might’ve noticed that if you’re anywhere close to your napping baby, they suddenly wake up, no matter how quiet you are. They can smell you coming from a mile away. And it’s not because you haven’t had time to shower in three days. According to Sarah Mallin, a former NICU nurse and current director of operations at Boram Postnatal Retreat, the smell of breast milk is attractive to infants. “Babies can smell their mothers because breast milk has a very attractive scent for babies,” she says.
“Ever wonder why the baby sleeps better when just Dad is around? That’s because he doesn’t have the same scents,” says Mallin. So you can tell Dad to stop bragging about being a baby whisperer and getting them to nap. “Babies like to be close to your smell and are triggered by it. It’s another survival skill given to them by Mother Nature — they know their food source!” Mallin says.
Related: Amazing Things Babies Learn in the Womb
Do Newborns Respond to Their Mother’s Voices Faster Than Anyone Else’s?
Mallin says that your baby has heard your voice in utero for months. Your voice is familiar and creates an instinctual response. “This all increases their responsiveness to their mother’s voice. If a partner was around often during the pregnancy, they may also recognize and be responsive to this voice. The responsiveness may increase as they associate this other human as someone who cares for them.”
Newborns respond to their mother’s voice faster than anyone else’s. However, according to a study from the University of Montreal, her voice will also preferentially activate parts of her baby’s brain responsible for language learning. “The brain signals also revealed that while the infants did react to other women’s voices, these sounds only activated the voice recognition parts of the brains,” the study noted. The study said, “The mother’s voice is special to babies.” And your baby’s “voice” is special to you, too, mama.7
Can Moms Recognize Their Own Baby’s Sounds?
“I have heard this, and some stories correlate with this finding; however, the understanding of it is not fully understood,” Mallin says. “With that said, if a mother cannot distinguish, like myself, when I had a baby, that is okay too, and there is no reason for concern.” She adds, “I think the most important thing to emphasize is mom’s reaction to a baby’s cry.”
“Sometimes, mothers can also be frustrated by their baby’s cry due to exhaustion or not being able to stop the crying. What’s important is the response. If a mother finds she is not triggered by her baby’s cry and does not care to respond, there may be a deeper concern here, such as postpartum depression, which can impact bonding,” Mallin says. “This is different than just needing a break. And remember — a newborn’s only form of verbal communication is crying, so it’s very normal for babies to cry and to cry frequently.”
Related: Easy Ways To Bond With Your Baby
Why New Moms Should Trust Their Instincts
“Human instincts are powerful in any situation. We are wired to detect danger or when something ‘just doesn’t feel right’ or is outside the norm,” Mallin says. “This is why gut instincts are so important and, yes, mothers should follow them.”
Hopefully, you’re feeling more confident in your new mom-ness after learning that we are designed to care for and nurture our babies. Trust your gut, mama. There’s a reason your baby has that special smile for you when you come into the room. Your hearts sync, your scents connect, your voices comfort each other — you’ve been preparing for this long before birth.
Science shows every day that new mothers can trust their instincts. So when doubt creeps in, remember: your instincts are strong, your love is powerful, and you’ve got this, mama.
