5 Parenting Tips From My Mother-In-Law That I Couldn’t Follow

5 Parenting Tips From My Mother-In-Law That I Couldn't Follow | Baby Chick

5 Parenting Tips From My Mother-In-Law That I Couldn’t Follow

My partner’s mom was a wonderful woman. She was very supportive of our little family, and she was a loving grandma. As a daycare provider for many years, my mother-in-law was also the closest thing to an expert on kids in my small circle.

We got along great, unlike many women do with their mother-in-laws. And unlike many new moms, I didn’t clash with her when it came to parenting my baby boy. I never felt disrespected by her. Not even in terms of parenting. Maybe that’s why I never felt compelled to object to any of the well-meaning advice she gave me!

My mother-in-law doled out the tips, and I was happy to take them. Usually. There were times I had to look the other way and do my own thing, though. Here’s some of the stuff I just couldn’t stick with.

1. Don’t Rock Your Baby To Sleep

My partner and I were visiting his mom for the first time since we found out I was pregnant. We didn’t see her often since we lived six hours apart.

At one point during that visit, we talked about some baby basics. Both bewildered and excited, I asked what her number one bit of advice for me was. She didn’t hesitate before saying, “Never rock your baby to sleep. You’ll regret it.”

If I wasn’t confused before, that one did me in for sure. Isn’t that what rocking chairs are made for? Isn’t that what those cute little rock-n-plays are specifically designed for?

Before my baby was born, I gave her the benefit of the doubt on that one. My mother-in-law never said not to comfort the baby by rocking him, just not to let him fall asleep like that. I had a fancy new rocking glider for breastfeeding that she practically insisted on, after all.

She said rocking a baby to sleep would ruin his self-soothing abilities and “spoil him” into wanting to be held all the time. But once that little bundle was born, I listened to my heart and instincts, consequences be damned. Every breastfeeding session ended in me rocking him to sleep in our new glider. And you know what? I did that as much for myself as for him. That bonding time was exactly what we needed. So peaceful and soothing, those special moments relieved any stress I was dealing with.

Yes, it took a bit longer for my son to learn to sleep on his own. But it was so worth it. I’m not a proponent of the cry-it-out method anyway, so I spent as much time as I needed to in order for him to feel comfortable enough to sleep.

I don’t believe babies can be spoiled. If they cry or fuss, they do so for a reason. Mommy’s comforting touch coupled with a soothing motion is reason enough in my book.

2. Don’t Room-Share

Along the lines of sleep, my partner’s mom gave me another piece of advice: A baby should sleep exclusively in his nursery. Definitely don’t co-sleep, but also don’t room-share.

She helped us set up a beautiful nursery, complete with brand new furniture and fun crib accessories. But the baby never slept a full night in there. Not once. In fact, he never slept there unless I put him down for a quick nap as I escaped into a good book in the next room.

Truthfully, I understood and agreed with the no co-sleeping rule, and I was concerned about the dangers of bed-sharing.

However, we lived in a loft-style apartment at the time, which meant that our bedroom was upstairs and separate from all other rooms. There was no way I felt comfortable leaving a baby to sleep in a downstairs room while I attempted sleep upstairs. When I told my partner’s mom why we set up the baby’s bassinet in our room, she understood but tried to convince me to put him back in his nursery. She was convinced that he’d be okay, and I had a baby monitor after all.

A baby monitor wasn’t going to soothe anyone back to sleep after a wet diaper, though, and it couldn’t do CPR. My instincts told me that I needed my baby nearby, so that’s where he stayed until we moved to our new house.

3. Just Heat The Formula Up In The Microwave

Once when she visited us, my partner’s mom watched me use a bottle warmer.

“Why don’t you just heat the formula up in the microwave?” she asked.

I didn’t realize people still did this, to tell the truth. I thought it was a well-known fact that formula shouldn’t be warmed in the microwave. Microwaves create pockets of hot air bubbles that could burn baby’s tongue while drinking. Even if the bottle seems to be at a safe feeding temperature, the small hot spots can hurt baby’s mouth and throat.

I was surprised that a daycare provider of many years didn’t know the up-to-date info on how to safely warm a bottle. But everyone does childcare slightly different, I suppose. What was accurate in the 70’s and 80’s should also be good for today’s babies, according to a certain mindset.

I, personally, prefer to follow the latest recommendations. Maybe that makes me a little uptight as a mom, but I figure that the data wouldn’t be updated if the new information wasn’t important.

4. Start With The Sweet Baby Food

My mother-in-law was a proponent of baby-led weaning in some form. Although she didn’t call it by name, she promoted feeding regular food to a baby as soon as they could manage more than milk.

She urged me to feed baby whatever I was eating. But prior to this, my partner’s mom gave me some pointers on baby food. She said to start out with bananas or a similar pureed food, because baby would be more likely to eat it.

After doing some research of my own, I learned that pediatricians dissuade the sweet food first strategy. Babies who are fed sweets from the beginning are more prone to childhood obesity and picky eating habits.

As a result, I fed squash and other vegetables first. I even fed my baby scrambled eggs, because some research suggests that limited early exposure to certain foods may reduce the risk of allergies in the future. Of course, there is no genetic predisposition to egg allergies on either side of the family, so I felt safe introducing them.

My little guy still has a sweet tooth like most kids do, but he’ll eat almost anything. He chowed down his broccoli and carrots as soon as he could eat them, and he’ll try anything once. I’m convinced that this is due in part to his first exposure to solids.

5. Get Rid Of Diapers At Two

I don’t fault my partner’s mom for having a straightforward policy in terms of what habits to break and when. She’s taken care of enough of kids to know what’s best. Her hard and fast rules were: Get rid of the bottle and pacifier at age one, and toss diapers for good at age two. The trouble is, one size doesn’t fit all kids.

I introduced my baby to the potty shortly after he turned one. No pressure; I just let him explore the little toilet and get used to it. He showed some eagerness toward it at first, but it went away for a couple of months.

When his second birthday rolled around, my mother-in-law suggested getting rid of diapers cold turkey. I wasn’t comfortable with potty training in that way. I preferred waiting for signs of readiness, none of which my son was showing at the time. Certain studies show that if children are forced to potty train too early, they might have bed-wetting issues down the line.

We had time. As a work-from-home mom, I planned to have my little guy at home until he started preschool at three-and-a-half. He needed to be potty trained by that point, which I felt confident would happen in due time.

I encouraged him to use the potty, and though he got the hang of going number one by the time he was two-and-a-half, we still used pull-ups in case of emergency. Right around the time he started school, going to the potty full time just seemed to click for him. He was ready, he saw his peers doing it, which I’m sure helped him meet his own milestone.

I’m aware that more traditional potty-training methods work for scores of parents. I also know that many kids used the potty sooner than mine. But it’s not a competition. He didn’t inconvenience anyone by taking his time, and we wasted no tears of frustration by forcing a milestone too soon.

Every day I wish my mother-in-law, my son’s grandma, was still around to share in our family and watch her grandson grow up. Unfortunately, she passed away several years ago. To this day, I am full of gratitude for the advice she dispensed, whether I chose to take it or not. The helpful tips and tricks outweighed the less useful ones, and all were given and received with kindness and respect. If every woman was lucky enough to have a mother-in-law as supportive as mine, there would no longer be a need for bad in-law jokes.

About the Author /

Bernadetta Pracon is a freelance writer and a mom to one little boy. She enjoys coffee, loves dogs, and appreciates her freelance lifestyle.

#FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM
😑😒⁠ 📷: @parentnormal 😑😒⁠
📷: @parentnormal
Love you but you have worn me out and I'm done. Ea Love you but you have worn me out and I'm done. Early bedtime tonight. Night night. 👋😘😂⁠
(quote via @mimosaswithmom)
Top 10 Coolest Baby Girl Names 🎀⁠ .⁠ So you Top 10 Coolest Baby Girl Names 🎀⁠
.⁠
So you’re about to have a baby girl and you’re looking for a cool name for her, right? You want a name that captures the essence of who she is and the girl and woman that you envision her becoming. A name that sets her apart and celebrates her unique gifts. A name you can imagine being written on her cubby at preschool, her college entrance essay, her first novel.⁠
⁠
You want your precious daughter to have a name that will convey all the qualities and values that you hope she will embody: you need a name fit for a queen, an astronaut, a good friend, a doctor, a professional athlete, a spiritual leader, a wonderful mother, a nurse, an activist, a scholar, a student, a leader, a follower, a good person—any of the things you imagine she can and will become in her lifetime.⁠
⁠
Finding a cool baby girl name may seem like a daunting task. There are so many options! Research shows that names for baby girls are currently trending towards representations of nature, gemstones, and food. Also growing in popularity for girls’ names are names that are not common girls names at all—such as names that have been traditionally used for boys, or last names. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: @kristen_vhmiddleton⁠
📷: @mochi.sucre
Major reasons why you can never spoil a newborn. ❤️⁠
📷: @renee.barendregt & @gentleparenting_memes
When Do You Start Showing in Pregnancy? 🤰⁠
.⁠
Every woman is different when she begins showing in pregnancy. I remember clearly the day I finally saw my beloved baby bump. It was a Monday and I was at work. I saw myself in the bathroom mirror and smiled broadly at my suddenly noticeable bump. Glowing, I rubbed my little tummy as I checked out my new, different-looking profile in the mirror. My office friends had noticed that morning as well and had complimented me and my little bump. Naturally, I took a selfie. I was so excited to see that I was finally showing. I couldn’t stop smiling all day! 😊 {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: @kristen_vhmiddleton⁠
⁠📷: @matfelipe
"It doesn't matter if you have a newborn, a toddle "It doesn't matter if you have a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager. These are the things our children need to feel from those around them. The same things that you and I even as adults want to feel from those around us. We want to feel seen. We want to be soothed when we are hurt. We want to feel safe when we are with people. We want to feel secure in our relationships with others. We don't outgrow the need to feel those things. In a crazy world, let your children feel those things. Let them know 'Hey, I see you. I see you're sad or mad. I am here with a hug when you're ready and if you need it. You are safe to feel how you feel and be who you are. You don't have to worry about my love for you. Be secure in that. Bad times or good times, I am here for you and I love you.' Because how good does it feel when we feel that way from those around us?"⁠
.⁠
Words & 📷: @thebuonamama
We learn as we go. It's okay to make mistakes. Ack We learn as we go. It's okay to make mistakes. Acknowledge them, and once you know better, do better. ❤️⁠
(quote via Karen Kleiman from "This Isn't What I Expected")
What Color Eyes Will Your Baby Have? 👁️⁠
.⁠
Expecting parents often wonder what their baby will look like once he's born. 🤔 Will she have light or dark hair? Will she inherit your freckles? What color eyes will your baby have? When I was pregnant with my son, my husband and I had fun wondering these same things. Would he have a round face? Would he have my nose? My husband’s cheeks? The only thing we knew for sure was that he would have deep brown eyes and dark brown hair, just like his mom and dad. Or so we thought.⁠ 😮 {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: Jennifer Hill Robenault⁠
⁠📷: @amymelissaphoto
My Favorite Cloth Diapering Systems 👶⁠ .⁠ T My Favorite Cloth Diapering Systems 👶⁠
.⁠
Think diaper changing is straight forward and simple? Not so fast for the cloth diapering mamas. While cloth diapers generally save us quite a bit of cash after that initial investment 💰, it does require a bit of a process, and a good cloth diapering system, to make it less time-consuming. The good news? Once you have it down and have the right tools on hand, it doesn’t have to be all that difficult at all. 🙌 Here are some favorite cloth diapering systems (and tips) that make diaper changes (and cleaning) way more manageable.⁠ {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: Rebecca Jacobs⁠
📷: @thetuckertribe5⁠
Yes, Yes, YES!!! ❤️ Yes, Yes, YES!!! ❤️
Sometimes a good soak in the tub with some bath sa Sometimes a good soak in the tub with some bath salts, a face scrub, and some cucumber slices can make your day. 😍⁠
📷: @jhonnycurran
First of all, we think all moms are incredible. 💕 Today’s shoutout goes to the career moms. We know the struggles because we are you. May this weekend bring you all rest, peace, and joy. 🥰 Sending out all of the love and respect! 🙇‍♀️
(quote via @beyonce)
You Can't Spoil a Baby, Here's Why 👶💕⁠
.⁠
The battle of opinions regarding whether or not you can spoil a baby has been raging for decades, especially among grandparents and those born during the time of little affection. Our children's great-grandparents were most likely raised with the idea that love and affection and responding to a baby's cries will spoil them and make them even fussier. While that idea might seem ludicrous to us, there's a reason such an approach was widely believed. Here's what parenting has looked like over the decades and how present-day science says you cannot spoil a baby. ❤️ {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: Rachel MacPherson⁠
📷: @trinitysierra
They repeat what we do. Show them love. Love for o They repeat what we do. Show them love. Love for others and for yourself. ❤️⁠
📷: @fleurdelisspeaks⁠
Her stuff is great. Check out her page!
What Happens to a Woman's Brain When She Becomes a What Happens to a Woman's Brain When She Becomes a Mother? 🧠❤️⁠
.⁠
Most women who have had children are fully aware of the hormonal and emotional changes that they experience. However, science is only just starting to understand how these changes occur in human mothers’ brains. While mothers know what it feels like to experience these changes, most of us don't know exactly what happens to a woman's brain when she becomes a mother. Turns out, a lot is happening! 😲 {Click 🔗 in bio to read more about it!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: Rachel MacPherson⁠
📷: @emfillerup
You may think that you are helping them by doing e You may think that you are helping them by doing everything for them. But there comes a time when they need to learn how to do things for themselves. ⁠
"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime." The same rule applies.⁠
We want our kids to be strong, independent, self-reliant, and successful. They learn quickly what they can get away with. Teaching them kindness and a good work ethic from the beginning goes a long way. ❤️⁠ Put the hard work in now and watch them bloom into a strong and independent adult later. 💪
(Quote via @relaxingmommy)
However you choose to feed your baby, your baby an However you choose to feed your baby, your baby and your opinion are all that matter. If you choose and are able to breastfeed, feed your baby anywhere and everywhere HOWEVER you want to . . . with or without a cover. You have rights, mama. No need to explain or cover yourself for anybody if you don't want to. 💕⁠
📷: @phoenixandtheocean
5 Things I Wish I Had Known About Potty Training⁠ 🚽⁠
.⁠
Let’s talk about potty training! It’s one of those monumental milestones we mamas walk through with our toddlers that make them suddenly seem like they went from babies to tiny little humans overnight. And, while it can be an exciting time (and a time to save some serious cash by ditching diapers), it can also come with lots of stress. 🙃 From cleaning up potty accidents for what may seem like days (or even weeks) to wondering if you’ll ever be able to drive further than down the block without having to stop for a potty break 🤦‍♀️, potty training can be daunting.⁠
⁠
But, what many moms agree on is that once it’s done, you kinda forget about all the stress that came along with it. Kinda like pregnancy and giving birth —you just sort of forget about it all until you do it all over again.⁠ 🤪⁠
⁠
Here are five things I wish I had known about potty training before I jumped into it with my then two-and-a-half-year-old daughter. Because, if I had known these things, I think I would have been a bit more laid back about the whole thing! {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: Rebecca Jacobs⁠
📷: @reesetriplets
How Much Does IVF Cost?⁠ 💉⁠ .⁠ In the Uni How Much Does IVF Cost?⁠ 💉⁠
.⁠
In the United States, 16.2% of married women aged 15-49 struggle with infertility. It is no surprise, then, that fertility treatments are becoming more of a necessity for couples who are faced with infertility and wish to have children. While there are many types of fertility treatments, IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) is one of the most commonly known options. However, the high cost of IVF is often cited as the primary obstacle to undergoing treatment. 💸 Let's take a look at what IVF entails, and how much IVF costs. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: @kristen_vhmiddleton⁠
📷: @lizbrownfitness
She isn't as cheerful as usual? She is being a bit She isn't as cheerful as usual? She is being a bit short with her replies back? Don't be hard on her. It more than likely has nothing to do with you. You never how many times her kids got her up last night. 😴 #bekindalways
🖌: @growupbrite
You're the reason that I breathe but also the reas You're the reason that I breathe but also the reason that I am out of breath. 😉🤪😂 #momlife
You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ You're My Baby Forever, But My Newborn for Now⁠ 💕⁠
.⁠
When I had my first baby, everyone told me to enjoy the newborn stage because it goes fast, and I would miss it. But I was so exhausted and overwhelmed I didn’t believe them. 😴 While I was living through it, it felt like it took forever!⁠
⁠
If you are there now or about to enter this stage, it’s a yummy, delicious, snuggly stage. But for me, it has always been one of the harder ones, every time I go through it. So I see and feel you, mama! It’s physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting. Hold tight, though, because it doesn’t last forever.⁠
⁠
So, while you are struggling to keep your eyes open, and your mental state together, here are a few things to try to savor while your baby is still a newborn. {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: Rebecca Guez⁠
📷: unknown
Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠ by @chroni Daddy Chronicles: Breastfeeding 💙⁠
by @chroniclesofdaddy⁠
⁠
I've been asked so many questions by men about fatherhood. So I figured I'd drop some knowledge on my fellow Dads and soon-to-be-Dads. Here's what it looks like for the first few weeks or months after your child is born. Yup. If mom breastfeeds they pretty much are tucked like this and at times you'll wonder "what is there for me to do?" Here are my top 5 tips for any Dad after your child is born.⁠
⁠
1️⃣ For night feedings. When mom wakes up in the middle of the night, you get up and ask if she needs any help or water. The truth is most of the time she will say no but just the fact that you offered will go far.⁠
⁠
2️⃣ Ask mom if she can pump and then pick 1 feeding that you will always do. Mom will take on almost everything and will burn herself out if you let her. At times you may have to force her to rest without worrying about the baby. This is an easy way to do that without a fight.⁠
⁠
3️⃣ Don't put a time limit on how long mom breastfeeds the baby. It's not just about feeding your child it's about them bonding as well. I know everyone has a different length of time they will breastfeed and as a Dad, it's hard to fully understand. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try and rush this process. It's not our place and it's not safe. You will open yourself up to a fight you can't win.⁠
⁠
4️⃣ Be patient. I know as a Dad the first few weeks we are equally excited and yet not as important. Your time will come faster than you know. Babies grow fast and the stronger and bigger they get the more Daddy Time will be coming your way.⁠
⁠
5️⃣ Paternity leave! If you have it TAKE IT. The early stages of a child's life are not just for moms to enjoy. I know as men making the money especially after having a baby it's hard, but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn't make you more of a man to not take the leave. It's equally as important that you as a Dad get to be a part of the early development of your child. ⁠
If someone needs this info tag them ❤️⁠
...⁠
Absolutely love these tips from @chroniclesofdaddy. 🙌
7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body 7 Postpartum Yoga Poses That Strengthen Your Body After Baby 🧘‍♀️⁠
.⁠
The postpartum period, or period of recovery that takes place after a mother gives birth, is an important time for mothers to take care of themselves. 🥰 Typically, if you’re less than 6 weeks postpartum you don’t want to put any pressure on your core muscles. Also, your body’s levels of relaxin, the hormone that loosens joints to prepare for childbirth, is elevated for 3-6 months after childbirth, and longer if you are breastfeeding. All this means is: take these postpartum yoga poses slowly and stretch yourself gently. No gymnastics here or pushing beyond what is comfortable.⁠
⁠
Remember, every mama’s body is different, so listen to how you feel and seek advice from a medical professional if you have questions about how and when to begin your personal exercise plan. Note: Try to do the following yoga poses in the order they are listed. {Click 🔗 in bio to see the 7 yoga poses to strengthen your body after baby!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: @kristen_vhmiddleton⁠
📷 taken by: @allisonermon_photography
It's been one of those days. 😑⁠ 📷: @kristy It's been one of those days. 😑⁠
📷: @kristyndingman
🙋‍♀️😂😂😂⁠ 🚜 What are some st 🙋‍♀️😂😂😂⁠ 🚜
What are some strange things you do as a #boymom or #girlmom?
It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's mag It doesn't happen often but when it does, it's magic.⁠ ✨🤩
📷: @realtoughdad
All I want is a slumber party with my mom squad. 💁‍♀️ These gorgeous mamas from @influencingincolor (Nikki, Meghan, Shay & Brandy) are #momgoals 🔥🔥🔥❤️⁠
📷: @influencingincolor
Holy summer . . . it's hot already. Any pregnant m Holy summer . . . it's hot already. Any pregnant mamas relate?! ⁠
📷: @mamastillgotit_
Potty Training Tips! A step-by-step guide 🚽⁠ Potty Training Tips! A step-by-step guide 🚽⁠
.⁠
1️⃣ Look for signs of readiness:⁠
- Diaper dry for at least 1-2 hours.⁠
- Pulling at their diaper when its wet or soiled.⁠
- Hiding or fidgeting when going pee or poo in diaper.⁠
- Interest in others using the potty.⁠
- Waking up with a dry diaper after naps.⁠
- Telling you when they have gone pee or poo.⁠
⁠
Potty training is much quicker if your child is showing the above signs, but you can start before this.⁠
⁠
2️⃣ What you will need to buy:⁠
- Toilet seat insert to place on your toilet⁠
- Steps⁠
- Underwear (at least 10 pairs)⁠
- Foldable toilet seat (for when you are out of the house)⁠
- Piddle pad (for car journeys)⁠
- Waterproof shoes such as crocs, sliders, etc. (they can be rinsed and dried)⁠
- Not necessary but helpful: flushable wipes⁠
⁠
3️⃣ Getting yourself and your child prepared:⁠
- Talk to your child about using the potty, maybe take them into the bathroom when you go and talk them through the process (e.g. wiping, flushing, and washing hands, etc.)⁠
- Practice pulling pants or shorts up and down.⁠
- Look on YouTube with your child at some potty training stories (e.g. 'I Want My Potty' and 'Pirate Pete's Potty')⁠
- Involve your child in choosing and buying everything you need - choosing character-themed underwear is usually very exciting!⁠
- Sit your child on the potty at every diaper change, first thing in the morning and just before bed to get them used to sitting on the toilet.⁠
- Teach your child the correct vocabulary or signs needed to communicate when they need to go potty.⁠
- Make sure you have plenty of spare clothes.⁠
⁠
4️⃣ Let's get toilet trained:⁠
- Get your child to choose a pair of underwear and put them on.⁠
- Talk to them about using the toilet and communicating when they need to pee or poo. You can sit them on the toilet at this point if you wish.⁠
- Take your child to the toilet every 15/20 minutes. Say "let's go to the potty" rather than asking "do you want to go to the toilet" - if you ask, they are likely to say no! Also, look for signs like moving from side-to-side or hiding. These are normal signs that they might need to go potty.⁠
⁠
(Continue reading in the comments!)
The Not-So-Easy Baby: Why Some Parents Have It Har The Not-So-Easy Baby: Why Some Parents Have It Harder Than Others⁠ 😢⁠
.⁠
Why are the parents of some infants relaxed and at ease while other parents are exhausted, guilty, and frustrated with raising their new infant? 😞 Is it because of their parenting skills or is it due to something else? Why do some parents have not-so-easy babies? {Click 🔗 in bio to continue reading!⁠}⁠
.⁠
Article by: Dr. Robert J. Hudson, M.D.
We haven't been in a restaurant in a long time but We haven't been in a restaurant in a long time but I know that whenever we all get through this time and can gather together with our friends again, a lot of love and laughter will be happening. 😬🤣🤣🤣⁠
📷: @maryfairyboberry