230 of the Most Funny Jokes for Kids - Baby Chick

230 of the Most Funny Jokes for Kids

ParentingUpdated April 18, 2023

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They are a timeless sibling bonding activity—a silly way to pass the time on road trips. A fun dinnertime activity the whole family can enjoy. Jokes for kids are always in style and can effectively brighten the mood or get your kids’ giggles out on a dreary day. Here are over 200 funny jokes for kids in a slew of categories, from Easter jokes to jokes about the best day of the year—their birthday!

Share these humorous quips with your kids, watch them “joke around” with their friends, and hear the single greatest sound in the world. The sound that soothes your soul like nothing else—your children’s laughter.

Funny Birthday Jokes for Kids

1. What did the birthday card say to the stamp?

Stick with me, we’re going places! 

2. What kind of music is bad for birthday balloons?

Pop.

3. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Omar.

Omar who?

Omar gosh! It’s your birthday!

4. What’s the fanciest type of birthday party you can throw for a dog?

A ball.

5. Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.

6. Why are birthdays good for your health?

Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.

7. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?

They relish the moment.

8. What do you give a 3,000-pound rhinoceros for his birthday?

I don’t know, but you better hope he likes it!

9. When I was born, I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

10. Why were the birthday balloons in the bathroom?

It was a birthday potty!

11. What did one candle say to the other at the end of the birthday party?

I’m feeling a little burned out after that party!

12. Why do candles always go on the top of birthday cakes?

Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom. 

13. What do you always get on your birthday?

Another year older.

14. Why was the soccer player sad on his birthday?

Because someone gave him a red card.

15. What don’t kangaroos like about birthdays?

They only get to celebrate them in leap years.

16. Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday?

He heard it was a piece of cake.

17. What does every birthday end with?

The letter Y.

18. Why don’t owls give each other birthday presents?

They don’t give a hoot.

19. Did you hear about the birthday candle sale?

It was a big blowout.

20. Why can’t kids remember past birthdays?

Because they’re too focused on the present.

Funny Yo Mama Jokes for Kids

21. Yo mama so special, she’s limited edition.

22. Yo mama so tall, she CAN taste the rainbow.

23. Yo mama so strict, she put Godzilla and King Kong in timeout for fighting.

24. Yo mama so strong, the Madrigals thought she was Louisa.

25. Yo mama so cool, her hugs give you frostbite.

26. Yo mama so smart, she knows things not even Google knows.

27. Yo mama so short, she does pull-ups on a staple.

28. Yo mama so loud, she speaks in surround sound.

29. Yo mama so tall, Mount Everest was her pet rock.

30. Yo mama so short, when she went to see Santa, he told her to get back to work.

Funny Math Jokes for Kids

31. What do geometry teachers have decorating their floors?

Area rugs!

32. Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it had so many problems.

33. Do you know what seems odd to me?

Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.

34. What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt!

35. How do you make seven an even number?

Remove the S.

36. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

37. What shape do you always have to be careful of?

A trap-azoid!

38. Why do teenagers always travel in groups of three, five, or seven?

Because they can’t even!

39. What did the triangle say to the circle?

You’re pointless.

40. Which king loved fractions?

Henry the eighth.

41. How does a mathematician plow fields?

With a pro-tractor.

42. My math teacher has a piece of graph paper.

I think he must be plotting something!

43. What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?

Geometry.

44. A kid said to his math teacher: To show you how good I am at fractions, I only did half my homework!

45. I had an argument with a 90-degree angle.

Turns out it was right.

46. Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

47. What do you call a number that can’t stand still?

A roamin’ numeral!

48. Why does algebra improve your dancing skills?

Because you can use algo-rhythm.

49. What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in NYC?

Times Square.

50. Are monsters good at math?

Not unless you Count Dracula.

Funny Animal Jokes for Kids

51. Why are elephants so wrinkled?

Because they take too long to iron!

52. Why did the gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!

53. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!

54. What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

55. What do you call a pig that knows karate?

A pork chop!

56. What did the snail riding on the turtle’s back say?

Wheeeee!

57. What animal keeps the best time?

A watchdog.

58. How does an octopus go into battle?

Well-armed.

59. What do you call a bee who can’t make up his mind?

A maybe.

60. Why can’t a leopard hide?

He’s always spotted.

61. What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

An eggroll.

62. Where do polar bears keep their money?

In a snowbank.

63. What animal has more lives than a cat?

Frogs! They croak every night.

64. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

Ruff!

65. Why do sharks live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

66. Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken.

67. What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor.

68. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?

A pie-thon.

69. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for a trip?

Bi-son!

70. Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

71. What did the mama cow say to the calf?

It’s pasture bedtime!

72. What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad!

73. What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

74. What kind of dog does a magician have?

A labracadabrador!

75. What did the farmer say about the cow who couldn’t produce milk?

It was an udder failure.

76. What are ducks’ favorite food?

Quackers.

77. What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries?

An investigator.

78. What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine?

A slowpoke.

79. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?

Chocolate mouse.

Funny Pirate Jokes for Kids

80. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

The letter RRRRRRR

81. What is a pirate’s hairstyle called?

A crew cut!

82. Why do people find it very hard to call a pirate?

Because he always leaves his phone off the hook.

83. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at “C”!

84. What is a pirate’s favorite type of fish?

Swordfish!

85. What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?

Booty and the Beast.

86. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap?

He got it on sail.

87. What do pirates put on their toast?

Jelly Roger.

88. What do pirates do on Black Friday?

Shop the sails.

89. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?

The plank!

90. What two football teams played in the Pirate Super Bowl?

The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.

91. What do you call a pirate who skips school?

Captain Hooky.

92. What pirate movies can’t kids go see?

The ones that are rated Rrrrrrrrr.

93. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting pirate.

Interrupting pir—

Yarrrrrrr!!!

94. Where do pirates buy their hooks?

The secondhand store.

Funny Cat Jokes for Kids

95. What’s a cat’s favorite movie?

The Sound of Mew-sic

96. Why was the cat playing on the computer for hours?

He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.

97. Why can’t a group of cats get together to play cards?

There are too many cheetahs.

98. Why did the cat get mad when you didn’t laugh at his joke?

He took it purrrr-sonally.

99. What’s it called when all the cat treats are gone?

A cat-astrophe.

100. What do you call a cat who lives at the beach?

Sandy Claws.

101. What do you call an old tomcat?

Grand-paw.

102. Why do cats hate laptops?

They don’t have a mouse.

103. How do you spell mousetrap using only three letters?

C-A-T.

104. What did the cat say after making a bad joke?

Just kitten.

105. What is the cat’s favorite button on the remote?

The paws button.

106. Why do cats make terrible storytellers?

They only have one tail.

107. What do you get when you cross a cat with a parrot?

A carrot.

108. How do you spell cat backward?

C-A-T-B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D

109. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?

Me-ow.

Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids

11o. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling.

111. Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?

His heart wasn’t in it.

112. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

He is mist.

113. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

114. What room does a ghost not need?

A living room.

115. Where does a ghost go on vacation?

Mali-boo.

116. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?

No body.

117. Why can’t you invite twin witches to a party?

You can never tell which witch is which!

118. What’s in a ghost’s nose?

Boo-gers.

119. What does a skeleton wear to a Halloween party?

A human costume.

120. Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all the coffin.

121. Why did the police officer ticket the ghost on Halloween?

It didn’t have a haunting license.

122. What game do baby ghosts like to play?

Peek-a-boo!

123. What kind of music do mummies like to listen to on Halloween?

Wrap music.

124. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

125. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in people?

126. Where does a mummy go on vacation?

The Dead Sea.

127. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Ben.

Ben who?

Ben waiting for candy all day.

128. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

129. What do skeletons order at restaurants?

Spare ribs.

130. How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern!

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

131. What do you call a running turkey?

Fast food.

132. What was served after Grandpa sat on the turkey?

Squash.

133. Why was the turkey in jail?

Fowl play.

134. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Annie.

Annie who?

Annie body see the turkey?

135. Why didn’t the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?

There was no thyme!

136. What did the turkey say to the computer?

Google, google.

137. What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?

May the forks be with you.

138. If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does a turkey come from?

A poul-tree.

139. What song should you listen to on Thanksgiving?

“All About That Baste.”

140. What happens to the cranberries after you are rude to them?

They turn into blueberries.

141. What’s a potato’s favorite game to play?

MASH.

142. Why was the turkey asked to join the band?

He could bring his own drumsticks.

143. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

144. What has feathers and webbed feet?

A turkey wearing scuba gear.

145. Why can’t you let turkeys go near little kids?

They have fowl language.

146. What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?

A har-VEST.

147. What’s the best thing to put in a pumpkin pie?

Your teeth!

148. What Thanksgiving treat is most popular at the kids’ table?

Crayon-berry sauce.

149. What did the sweet potato say when asked if it was hungry?

Yes, I yam.

150. When are turkeys the most grateful?

The day after Thanksgiving.

Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids

151. What did the wise men say after offering their gifts of gold and frankincense?

Wait, there’s myrrh.

152. What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claus-trophobia!

153. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

Anything you want! He can’t hear you!

154. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.

155. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?

A cookie sheet!

156. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?

Because he went down in history.

157. What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-itus.

158. How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh?

They use Santa-tizer.

159. What kind of photos do elves take?

Elfies.

160. What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast?

He holds on for deer life.

161. What did one Christmas tree say to the other?

Lighten up!

162. How do Christmas trees get their email?

They log on.

163. Why does Mrs. Claus like Beyoncé so much?

She sleighs.

164. What do you call Santa when he stops moving?

Santa Pause.

165. What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?

A pineapple!

166. What does Mrs. Claus say when there are clouds in the sky?

“It looks like rain, deer.”

167. What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?

Silent Night.

168. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has No-el.

169. What kind of car do elves drive in the off-season?

Mini-vans!

170. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Doughnut.

Doughnut who?

Doughnut open this present until Christmas!

Funny Easter Jokes for Kids

171. Why did the baby chick cross the road?

To meet up with her peeps.

172. What kind of beans grow in the garden on Easter?

Jelly beans!

173. What sport should you play on Easter?

Basket-ball.

174. What stories do eggs tell their children?

Yolk tales.

175. What do you say after you burp during Easter brunch?

Eggs-cuse me!

176. Would February March?

No, but April May.

177. Why did the jellybean go to school?

Because he really wanted to be a Smartie.

178. How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight?

Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

179. Christmas comes before Easter in one place only. Where is it?

The Dictionary!

180. What does a bunny like to dance to?

Hip-hop.

181. Why are you so tired in April?

Because you just finished a March.

182. Where does the Easter Bunny like to eat?

IHOP.

183. How many eggs can you put in an empty basket?

Only one. After that, it’s not empty anymore.

184. What happens if you get married on Easter?

You live hoppily ever after.

185. What do you call an Easter Bunny who gets kicked out of school?

Eggs-spelled.

186. What do polite bunnies say?

Eggs-cuse me!

187. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny.

188. What do eggs do when they hear a joke?

They crack up.

189. Where does the Easter Bunny get his eggs?

From an eggplant.

190. What kind of bunny can’t hop?

A chocolate bunny.

Funny Sports Jokes for Kids

191. What has eighteen legs and catches flies?

A baseball team.

192. Why do basketball players love doughnuts?

Because they can dunk them!

193. What runs around a baseball field but never moves?

The fence!

194. Why are peppers best at archery?

Because they habanero!

195. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine?

He wanted his quarter back.

196. How is a baseball team like a pancake?

They both need a good batter.

197. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole in one!

198. Where do football players go when they need new uniforms?

New Jersey.

199. Which baseball player can hold water the best?

The pitcher.

200. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?

Because she’s always running away from the ball.

201. Why are hockey rinks always rounded?

Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

202. What’s the hardest part of skydiving?

The ground!

203. Why is tennis such a loud sport?

The players raise a racquet.

204. What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?

Tee!

205. What’s a UPS worker’s favorite sport?

Boxing.

Funny Random Jokes for Kids

206. What do you get when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?

A traffic jam.

207. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown.

208. How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

209. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

210. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You wait here, I’ll go on ahead.

211. Two muffins are baking in an oven.

One of them looks to the other and says, “Phew, it’s getting hot in here!”

The other looks back and says, “Ack! A talking muffin!”

212. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity?

Totally shocked.

213. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick.

214. How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experi-mints.

215. Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch cold.

216. What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?

Snow.

217. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Tank.

Tank who?

You’re welcome.

218. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use. The joke’s over.

219. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you.

220. Why did the robber break into the bakery?

He heard the cakes were rich.

221. Why do oranges wear sunscreen?

So they don’t peel.

222. What did the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

223. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

224. Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

I didn’t know you could yodel!

225. Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

226. What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!

227. How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?

It is either one or the udder.

228. What did one plate say to the other?

Dinner is on me.

229. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?

Yellow!

230. Why can’t you trust tacos?

Because they always spill the beans.

And there you have it. More than 200 jokes for kids to tickle their funny bones, make them forget about why they were grumpy earlier (hint: they probably had to do chores), and give them a silly and joyful activity to pass the time—just like their parents and grandparents used to do as kids.

Humor is good for the soul after all—no matter what age you are.

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