Zero to sixty. That’s how my best friend’s dad recently described what it feels like to go from one to two kids. Before my second son, Bear, life with my first, Fischer, had a steady rhythm at a comfortable 35 MPH. But when Bear arrived, everything sped up overnight.
Those first few days didn’t feel that different, since we were in a haze and had plenty of hands on deck. But as the weeks passed, we had to reprioritize, reprogram, and find our new normal.
People often ask, “How are things going? Are you adjusting to two kids?” The answer depends on the day or even the moment. Some days, I could list a million challenges. Other days, I could list a million joys. Most days, it’s both—and that’s okay.
In the Beginning, It’s Hard!
One realization I’ve come to is how right it all feels. Sure, the days can be long and exhausting. But this little family we’ve created, and this time in my life, is 100% meant to be. I cannot believe I ever questioned being able to love another tiny human as much as I love Fischer. Bear has completed our family in such a way that I cannot fathom life without him. And I am confident that I’ve given BOTH boys a lifelong best friend. My heart just swells at the sight of them together!
Still, a question begs a more solid answer: logistically, how do you adjust from one to two kids? The easy answer is that it’s all about creating a brand-new routine. Take a little of what was working and combine it with trial-and-error-proofed new strategies. Thus far, the most interesting part of this experience is the realization that I remember nothing about raising an infant. And yet, I am way more relaxed than I was with Fischer. I guess once you’ve successfully gotten one kid to three years old, you figure that you surely can do it again. I mean, I must’ve been doing SOME things right…right?
Helpful Tips for Adjusting from One to Two Kids
Every family’s transition looks different, but these simple strategies can make life with two little ones a little easier.
The more detailed answer to the question above is that there are many ways to do the same thing. First, you have to find what works best for you. Then, figure out what tools, both tangible and abstract, you need in your hypothetical parenting fanny pack at all times. Today, I share some of the tools that we’ve begun “collecting” and wielding in the past (VERY SHORT) four months!
Spring for the Double Stroller
If you’ve been hesitant to purchase a double stroller, go ahead and bite the bullet. Yes, they can be pricey, but there is a great range of double strollers on the market to fit any budget. Trust me. You WILL use it. I am a firm believer in the “cost vs. X” theory to decide whether a purchase is worth it or not. I use it for everything from a pair of jeans to toys for my kids to dish towels. Even if your older kiddo is walking and always wants to walk, there will be times when they suddenly don’t want to walk, and you’ll desperately wish you’d taken this advice. And so will your significant others’ shoulders/arms/back.
A Baby Carrier Will Save Your Life
A baby carrier is another tool you’ll need for travel during this period. Here’s another area where “cost vs. use” comes in handy. You’ll want to spend a little bit of money on a great carrier. Your body will thank you.
I’ve used one for everything from walks while exploring vacation destinations to hanging out with the family at music festivals or even playing baseball with Fischer if Bear doesn’t want to be put down. I prefer a baby carrier that offers such great lumbar support. With so many styles to choose from, like wraps and ring slings, you’ll find something that both you and your baby love.
Stations Around the House are Key
Okay, this might sound crazy to some of you, but one item that has seriously made life seem so much easier lately is my portable changing station. And no, I’m not just referring to my diaper bag! The kids’ rooms are on the opposite side of the house from our playroom, AND we spend a lot of time outdoors. So when Bear needs to be changed, it’s easier to have a diaper caddy that acts as a little portable station that goes between the playroom and outdoors easily and has everything I need to clean him up! I also don’t have to worry about my toddler, Fischer, getting into anything while I’m gone for a second. You know it only takes them a minute to wreak havoc on your couches/walls.
Pick Your Battles with Dinner
Food options are something I struggled with when we first had Fischer. And even though we had a ton of people dropping off food for us this time, it’s become challenging to find the time to prep meals, get everyone fed, etc. The whole “dinner-bath-bed” routine has gone from taking an hour to two or more! Not acceptable. I’ve often been whipping out the crockpot and relying on prepared food options. And while dinner is cooking in the crock or the microwave, I dream of cooking regularly again. And hey, sometimes cereal is a great dinner option! You’re doing the best you can.
Splurge on Parking and Grocery Delivery
Certain situations call for a little bit of a splurge. For example, I’ve never been one to use valet; I can park my own darn car. But lately, with two in tow, I want our outings to be quicker and more efficient. And sometimes valet is the way to go. It can also be a safer option as there seems to be an increase in stories about women with children being targeted while packing up or unloading their cars. Yikes!
I’ve also found myself often doing curbside pickup or getting my groceries delivered because sometimes, the very thought of dragging my two kiddos to the grocery store makes me want to cry. At first, I felt guilty about splurging in these couple of areas. But I had to overcome that and realize that the stress I avoided was worth it.
Sometimes, Screen Time is Your Friend
I’ll be the first to admit that I have major “mom guilt” when it comes to screen time, but this is an area where I’ve had to let go of the guilt. It’s not going to ruin my child, and sometimes it’s the safest option while I’m busy nursing Bear or tending to his other needs. I’ve downloaded educational apps and relied on PBS and ABCMouse to provide Fischer with quality screen time.
Get Organized
I’ve also found that being super organized is essential to not losing your mind during this transition! It had become easy to just go with the flow with Fischer as he got older. Now, with both boys, I make sure to get myself organized at night in preparation for the next day. It is all about planning ahead! I’ve also found that getting up just a bit earlier and getting myself fed and dressed helps immensely. There have been plenty of days when we’ve stayed home simply because I couldn’t get myself ready with all the demands placed on me once they were awake.
Take a Deep Breath (or Two)
When it all goes to hell in a handbasket, I try to remind myself that it’s NOT a big deal. If we don’t make it to a playdate or lunch date on time, or at all, life will go on. Freaking out or stressing isn’t going to help the situation. Instead, it often compounds it. This is where showing myself a bit of grace has played a huge part in this transitional period. Being flexible is very important!
As I said, there are many ways to do the same thing. You just have to find what works best for you and your family. I hope these ideas give you something to think about as you prepare for a new addition or navigate the early days with two little ones. The days can feel long, but this season is short, and before you know it, you’ll be running like a well-oiled machine again.
