Breastfeeding can be beautiful, but it can also feel confusing, emotional, and exhausting, especially in the first few days and weeks. I’ve had clients call within days, and sometimes hours, after birth asking for lactation support because they were unsure what was normal and what needed help.
Those early feeds can bring so many questions: Is my baby getting enough? Is this latch right? Why does my baby want to nurse again? Am I supposed to be this sore? To help answer some of those common worries, I asked several lactation consultants what they wish new moms knew about breastfeeding.
Here are 20 things lactation consultants want you to know.
Key Takeaways
- Frequent nursing, cluster feeding, and changing feeding patterns can be normal for newborns.
- Breastfeeding should not be painful. Pain usually means something needs adjusting.
- Early breast stimulation can help support milk production in the first days after birth.
- Pump output does not always show how much milk your baby transfers at the breast.
- Breastfeeding, pumping, supplementing, or combination feeding can all be loving ways to feed your baby.
What Lactation Consultants Want New Moms To Know
Every breastfeeding journey is different, but there are a few truths that lactation consultants find themselves repeating again and again.
Breastfeeding comes with questions, emotions, and learning curves, which is why I asked several lactation consultants to share the honest advice they give new moms every day.
1. It’s Normal for Newborns To Want To Nurse Often
Sometimes more than once in an hour.
Related: 5 Reasons Your Baby Wants to Breastfeed AGAIN
2. Breastfeeding Isn’t All or Nothing
Combination feeding can support both bonding and flexibility.
3. Breastfeeding Is Not Supposed To Hurt
Pain is a sign that something needs adjusting, usually the latch.
I’m sure you’ve heard many people say breastfeeding will hurt and that you must “toughen up your nipples” beforehand to get ready, but that is not the case. If breastfeeding hurts, you need to speak with a lactation consultant as soon as possible because it shouldn’t hurt.
Yes, you will experience odd sensations and pressure while breastfeeding because you probably have never had someone sucking on your breasts for extended amounts of time on and off throughout the day and night, but it shouldn’t be painful.
Pressure and tenderness, yes. Tugging and some pulling, yes. But pinching or pain? No. Learning how to get a proper latch is key to avoiding pain. This will help reduce your chances of experiencing blistered, bleeding, and/or cracked nipples. Ouch. That is no fun.
4. It’s Normal To Have Days When You Want To Give Up
You’re not alone. Feeling overwhelmed is common. Support makes all the difference.
Related: What I Wish First-Time Moms Knew About Breastfeeding
5. Stimulate Milk Production Within the First 24 Hours
Early stimulation helps your body establish a strong, healthy supply. It may take a little while for you and your baby to learn how to get a good latch, but while learning this new skill, it is still crucial to start stimulating your milk production soon after birth. The suckling sensation alerts your breasts that it’s time to start producing milk and establishing a milk supply.
Breastfeeding works a lot like supply and demand. If you and your baby are not demanding that your breasts make more milk, your body will think that there is no need to make more milk. It will begin to produce less and less, eventually stopping altogether.
Milk needs to be removed from your breasts so your body receives the signal to make more.
If your baby is having difficulty latching on at first, continue practicing getting a good latch while also expressing milk through another method. This way, you can help your body produce an adequate supply. You can withdraw your milk by either hand expressing or using a breast pump.
Either way, lactation consultants want you to know that getting a good latch can always be improved with proper guidance and practice. But there is no reversing time and making up for inadequate breast stimulation in those early hours and days.
Related: 5 Ways To Make Your Milk Come in Faster
6. Most Moms Can Make Enough Milk With Frequent Nursing
However, a small number of mothers have a low milk supply, and these women deserve positive and kind support. Most milk-supply worries are normal, and personalized support can make a big difference.
7. Babies Are Not Robots
Like us, they will not eat at the same time and the same amount every day.
Growth spurts, cluster feeds, and changing routines are all part of normal development.
8. You Don’t Have To Drink Milk To Make Milk
However, you do need an extra 450 to 500 calories a day, plus plenty of fluids.
Related: Breastfeeding Nutrition: How Many Extra Calories Do You Really Need?
9. Find Good Breastfeeding Support
Breastfeeding is an ever-evolving relationship and a journey that has ups and downs. It’s important to surround yourself with positive people who will support and encourage you during the most challenging times.
10. Get Your Partner and Family on Board
Ensure you provide them with specific ways they can assist you.
For example, ask them to watch your older children while you’re breastfeeding, bring you a snack or water, grab your breastfeeding pillow, or clean your pumping parts. Just remember that you can do this, but it helps when you have support.
Related: 13 Ways Dads Can Help With Breastfeeding
11. Look for Breastfeeding Helpers Who Make You Feel Safe
Keep looking until you find someone who makes you feel safe and supported.
12. Everyone Will Have an Opinion
Only take the good ones and forget the bad ones. Remember that you know your baby and your body better than anyone else. Filtering advice helps protect your confidence and keeps your feeding experience positive.
Related: To the Struggling Breastfeeding Mom: You’re Not Alone
13. It Is Not Anyone’s Place To Judge Feeding Choices
There are so many reasons why a mother might decide not to breastfeed. And none of those reasons reflect poorly on her mothering or her level of care for her child.
14. There Are No Silly Breastfeeding Questions
Find a Certified Lactation Counselor or International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) in your area. Set up an appointment or attend a breastfeeding support group. Your questions are valid and have most likely been asked (many times) before.
Related: How to Increase Milk Supply: 22 Ways to Boost Breast Milk Production
15. Pump Output Does Not Always Reflect Milk Supply
Many babies transfer milk more efficiently than a breast pump, which is why pump output does not always reflect your milk supply.
16. Tongue-Tie and Lip-Tie Can Affect Breastfeeding
Tongues that are tied down can’t milk the breast properly (leading to low weight gain) and cause a lot of pain.
Related: What Is Tongue-Tie in Babies and How Is It Treated?
17. Go Back to the Basics When Problems Come Up
Most breastfeeding problems can be solved by starting over and keeping things simple.
If your nipples hurt, you probably need to change the breastfeeding position or the shape and hold of your breasts. Or you can always unlatch and start again. Start with the basics before assuming anything more complicated is going on.
18. Pumping Moms Deserve Support Too
Exclusive pumping moms do, too. Pumping on a schedule takes commitment and physical effort.
Related: Tips for Using Your Breast Pump at Work
19. Trust Biology, Your Baby, and Your Body
Your body was made to make breast milk.
Ask yourself, “Is my baby pooping and peeing enough? Do my breasts feel drained after a feeding? Is my baby gaining weight and meeting developmental milestones?” If the answer to these questions is yes, then your baby is getting enough milk!
20. Breastfeeding Can Be Normal, Intense, and Beautiful
All in all, I tell my clients that the most important thing is to feed your baby in the way that works best for you. Only you understand your situation and can determine what is right for you and your child.
Breastfeeding is a learning experience for both you and your baby, and no two journeys look the same. Take what helps and let go of what does not.
Whether you breastfeed, pump, supplement, or combine all three, you are caring for your baby with love. Support is available, questions are welcome, and you do not have to figure it out alone.
