Until you’ve experienced it yourself, being a stay-at-home mom seems like an easy gig. But as every mom who’s tried it knows, this job is far from easy. Most of the time, we paste a smile on our face and get through each day with few complaints (most of the time). But there are some “secret thoughts” most stay-at-home moms struggle with regularly.
Secret Thoughts of a Stay-at-Home Mom
Here are some of the secret thoughts I’ve had—and many stay-at-home moms share—while navigating this role.
1. Why People Don’t Realize This Is a Job
Anyone who has never been a stay-at-home mom cannot conceptualize all that goes into it. I never “just play” with my child all day. My day is filled with feeding my child, cleaning up after my child, and so many chores. It never feels like my house is clean at once. Nap time is always a crunch to do as much as I can. After regular “working” hours, it’s time for dinner and hanging out with my husband before starting all over again. It’s a 7-day-a-week, 24-hour-a-day job. If the baby wakes up, it is usually my responsibility to tend to him, as I am the parent who stays home. If I sacrifice housework for some “me time,” I feel so guilty!
2. Craving Adult Conversation
I have never felt more lonely. I go days without human contact other than with my son and husband. I find myself craving adult conversation. Instead, I am repeatedly singing the lyrics to the “Dora the Explorer” theme song in my head! Considering the circumstances, the women in my Facebook mom’s group have kept me as sane as possible.
3. Feeling Touched Out
I cannot stand one more person touching me today. This is especially an issue if you have a husband who craves physical affection. My child clings to me all day, and then I have two dogs that want my attention as soon as I get a spare moment without the baby. After the baby goes to bed, your husband might want all your attention – and so many times, I have nothing left to give at the end of the day.
4. Exhausted and Stressed
My partner works outside of the home all day. So, I desperately feel the need to pick up the slack and make sure he has time to relax when he gets home from work. But I need a break too! I wish I could have some time to myself. But I spend all day caring for our child and taking care of our home, all before collapsing into bed shortly after my little one goes down for the night. I never feel like what I am doing is enough: for me, for my child, for my husband, for my house, for my dogs . . . The list goes on and on. All of these thoughts lead me to feel burnt out all the time.
5. Wishing for Value Outside the Home
Adjusting from a career woman to a stay-at-home mom was such a mental challenge. Although thankfully, we could make it work financially, it still feels very different not earning my own income. Although deep down, I know that I am doing the most important job for my family, not financially providing for my family is a mental struggle. I feel like hired help many days, except I am not earning a salary. Most days, I do not even hear a simple “thank you.”
6. Tired of the Same Routine
As a stay-at-home mom, it can quickly feel like every day is Groundhog Day. There would be weeks when I had no idea what day it was since it made no difference. Literally, every single day is the same! This hit its peak when we were in quarantine at home, and all we could do was play with toys, watch cartoons, and go for walks. I think I experience the “Sunday Scaries” more as a stay-at-home mom than when I had a job outside of the home because I would just be preparing to face another week where everything was exactly the same. I specifically remember once thinking, “If I have to heat up pancakes one more time this week, I will go insane!” But I heat up those pancakes every morning because they are my son’s favorite breakfast.
7. Loving My Job Despite It All
Despite all the challenges, I would never trade my time as a stay-at-home mom to my son for anything!
If you’re a stay-at-home mom with these thoughts, know that you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid, your work matters, and while the challenges are real, raising your children is the most important job of all.
