Becoming a parent changes everything. The moment you hold your first child, your world shifts in ways you never expected.
Your firstborn teaches you how to be a mother, helps shape the person you become, and shares in every milestone along the way. This heartfelt letter is a thank you to the little boy who made me a mom and forever changed my life.
To my firstborn,
What do I say to the little person who made me a mother? How can I put into words how I feel about you, how much I love you, and how much you’ve changed me?
I had so many ideas about what my first child would be like. In some ways, you are just what your father and I imagined. In others, you are way more than I ever dreamed you could be, and you have surprised us in the best of ways.
We thought you’d be super smart like your daddy, and of course, you are. We thought you’d love to read like your mama, and you surround yourself with books. But you still surprise us every day with your kindness and careful attention to detail. You are such a sweet, innocent little boy, and so mature for your young age.
First of all, I want to say thank you.
Thank you for making me a mom.
I’ve carried a lot of titles in this life so far: sister, daughter, friend, wife, and teacher. The title of mother, which you awarded me the day I learned that you were growing, is one I hold so close to my heart. With it comes so much responsibility, but oh so much joy!
Because of you, I get to experience the delight of seeing someone learn, grow, and be part of the process. I get to have a little friend with me singing along to Disney songs in the car. I get to play my favorite old family board games and have tickle-fests and pillow fights.
I get to forget about work, life, and the stress of it all and just laugh with someone for no reason. I get to experience holidays and seasons through a child’s eyes. When you came along, everything in life became more fun.
I get to share my faith with you and teach you our family values. I love it when you remind us to pray before a meal. Sometimes, Daddy and I get so busy that we forget. Little things like that make me so thankful that you made me a mama.
As a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mother someday, and when you came along, you instantly fulfilled that dream!
Related: A Letter to My Daughter: Heartfelt Words Every Girl Should Hear
You have already taught me so much.
When I had you, I thought I had already lived a lot of life. I had so many experiences, multiple college degrees, and a challenging career. I thought I knew so much. Yet you came along and taught me things I never knew I needed to know.
With you, I learned how to care for a child. I learned how to set up sleep routines and feed a baby properly with you. How to help you through night terrors and when to take you to the doctor. I learned how to navigate even more complicated schedules and multitask like never before. You had to put up with a lot! Thank you for taking it all in stride and loving me through it all. Your patience as I figured out this whole motherhood thing meant more than you’ll ever know.
I became stronger because of you. I have learned to be more patient and put someone else’s needs above mine. Being your mother has caused me to reflect on what I believe in. Knowing you are always watching and listening makes me check myself and my behavior. I am a better person because of you.
Related: How To Enjoy Motherhood Instead of Just Surviving It
You comfort me in a way no one else can.
After we lost our second baby, you quietly lay beside me because you knew I was sad. You didn’t understand at the time, and you won’t for a while, but I needed to hold you so tight after that. And you didn’t question it. You just held onto me so tight right back.
When I have a major mom fail and think I’ve ruined your day, you assure me I haven’t. You always say, “That’s okay, Mom! We can do it next time.” When I’ve had a tough day, all I have to do is tuck you into bed and tell you that you’re my favorite little boy, and you’ll respond, “You’re my favorite little mama.” And that’s all I need to know.
Learning to adjust as our family grew.
For over four years, you were my one and only baby. Together, we learned how to adjust when we added another to our family. When I had to feed or change your little sister, you had to wait for my attention. When I was tired from being up all night, I didn’t have as much energy to give you during the day. You took all of this like a champ, and you rarely complained!
I know it can be frustrating when you don’t get as much attention as you used to, but I have seen you become more independent and confident in yourself! I also see the little relationship you are building with your sister. I know it will be something you will treasure your whole life.
Related: A Letter to My Son: Life Lessons From My Heart to Yours
Finding your place as the oldest.
You are only five years old, but already you are watching out for your little sister. You make sure she doesn’t stand up in her high chair and are the first to give her a toy when she fusses in the car. You share your toys with her and teach her to share. When she wants to play, you stop what you’re doing and will be silly with her. Being the oldest in the family is a big responsibility, and I’m so proud of how well you do it every day!
My love for you has only grown.
When I first met you, I loved you so much I thought my heart would burst, and I’ve learned you can never give too much love to your child. And yet, as you grow older, my love for you grows! I love seeing you achieve all of your firsts and learn new skills. As you develop, you show me new sides of yourself that make me love you more. One time, I asked you what it meant to love someone. You told me, “Loving someone means making somebody happy.” You make me so, so happy!
Just like you tell me before you go to bed at night, I love you to the moon, through the asteroid belt, to Pluto, and back again. And that’s a lot of love.
With Love,
Your Mama
To all the firstborns out there, thank you for making us parents. You’ll always hold a special place in our hearts.
