5 Things to Remember When You Feel Like a Bad Mom

5 Things to Remember When You Feel Like a Bad Mom | Baby Chick

5 Things to Remember When You Feel Like a Bad Mom

If you’ve been a mom for more than five minutes, I’m willing to bet you’ve berated yourself for being a “bad mom” at least once. I know that I have moments every day when I feel like I am surely ruining my children. Feeling like a bad mom is completely normal. It is also completely untrue. Here are five things to remember the next time you feel like a bad mom:

1. Bad Days Are Normal.

Listen, we all have bad days. And sometimes we have bad weeks. Some months are worse than others. It happens to all of us! But here’s the truth: bad days don’t make you a bad mom. The fact that you’re worried that you’re a bad mom makes you a good mom because it shows that you actually care.

There is one thing that I can guarantee you about motherhood: you’re going to screw up. A lot. And probably more often than you’d like. Part of growing as a mom is taking those mistakes and learning from them. You know the best way to correct mistakes? Acknowledge where you’ve messed up and try again. If you need help or advice or guidance, seek it out and keep trying again and again. You will never be able to achieve perfection in motherhood, but when you do your best to learn from your mistakes, apologize when necessary (yes, even to your kids!), and do better next time, it will not only help you, but it will teach your children some very valuable lessons in love, humility, and forgiveness.

2. No Mom Is Perfect.

So why are you putting so much pressure on yourself to be a perfect mom? Believe me, I know how hard it is being a mom in today’s social media world. It seems everywhere you turn, there’s another mom on Instagram who seems to have it all together: she’s got a perfectly toned body, a perfectly decorated home, perfectly styled angel children, she cooks and bakes like a pro, and she and her husband are madly in love and never fight. How can we mere mortal moms compete with that?

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Here’s her secret: she’s not real. That perfect Insta-Mom is completely and totally lying to you, to everyone else who follows her and, sadly, probably to herself. There is no such thing as a perfect mom or a perfect house or a perfect marriage or perfect children. Each of us has our own special kind of ugly hanging out in the background of our lives, but you will rarely ever see those parts of others’ lives because it’s not Pinterest worthy. Keep that in mind when you’re getting down on yourself for having a mountain of laundry in your living room, you’re wearing the same t-shirt and yoga pants for the third day in a row, and your kids are running around like wild heathens. We all have those days, mama.

3. Try to Find Perspective.

I know you’ve heard all the cliché sayings: “they grow so fast,” “the days are long but the years are short,” “you’ll miss this age soon,” etc., etc. If you’re anything like me, when someone says these things to you it takes a lot of mental effort not to punch that person in the throat. As irritating as those clichés are, the reality is that they are true. Maybe that’s why they’re so annoying? It’s true, our babies will not be babies much longer. Our toddlers will not want to cuddle on the couch with us (even though we need to get a billion things done) for much longer. The irritating things our kids do right now are nothing compared to the potential crap we will face when they’re teenagers (I’m hyperventilating just thinking about my kids as teenagers!). So when you’re in the heat of yet another shouting match with your four-year-old or your two-year-old has decided to take his trucks for a swim in the toilet (again), take a moment to step out of the situation and take a deep breath. Being angry and frustrated with your kids for what they’re doing today does not make you a bad mom, but it will help you in that heated moment to remember that this will one day be a memory that you’ll look back on and (probably) laugh about.

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4. Your Children Love You.

I know it doesn’t feel like it when you’re in the middle of another argument with your kid, or when they’re throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, but your kids really love you. You are their world, the center of their universe, the one person that they want when they’re hurt or scared or upset. You are their comfort and strength, their confidante and first friend, their source of self-esteem and bravery. There is no one who can replace you in their lives.

Sure, there will be times when it seems like your kid likes daddy or grandma or the babysitter more than they like you, but deep down inside, your baby wants no one more than his or her mama. Usually, dad, grandma and the babysitter are “novelties” that get to spend time with your child doing all the fun stuff while you are the constant, 24/7, rule-enforcing, chore-reminding, routine-abiding mom that is always there for them, whether they like it or not. Believe it or not, your constant presence is the thing that your child needs and values the most, even if they don’t show it. Want proof? Go on an extended date with your hubby sans kids one weekend and see just how clingy they are when you get back!

5. You Are Not Alone.

Next time you are out and see a mom with her kids in tow, take a good look at her. I bet you will see some very familiar emotions etched on her face: exhaustion, maybe frustration, maybe irritation or outright anger. Maybe you catch her on a good day and you see happiness or laughter or joy. Maybe she’s been crying. Maybe she’s flustered and forgetful. Whatever it is that you see, you can understand it because you’ve been there, too.

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We moms are in this together. We are all in the trenches, all fighting the same battles. Yet, many of us feel so very alone sometimes. This couldn’t be further from the truth. None of us should have to feel like we are doing this alone. If you feel alone, there are so many resources that you can utilize to help you gather a tribe around you: moms groups are all over Facebook, meet up websites, and churches, to name a few. Ask around, do a quick google search in your area, and reach out. And remember the next time you see that exhausted mom when you’re out, give her a smile and a nod, or even a fist bump if you’re feeling brave. Just a little something to tell her: You’ve got this, mama!

About the Author /

Cheyenne is an attorney, writer, speaker and blogger with a slight obsession for home decor, red wine, and good coffee. Cheyenne’s blog, Sense & Serendipity, focuses on inspiring others to create a home well loved and a life well lived. Cheyenne lives in San Marcos, Texas with her two children, Aislin and Hawkins.

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Instagram post 17990835490280335 I totally felt this way when I was pregnant. And kind feel this way after all that turkey. 🤣🦃 Happy turkey day to all you expecting mamas!!⁠
📷: @madiford2 via Twitter⁠
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#pregnancy #pregnant #funnypregnancy #momtobe #pregnancylife #thanksgiving #mamatobe #turkeymama #babybump #pregnancyjourney #bumpie #thirdtrimester #preggo #pregnancyhelp #maternity #motherhood #momlife #expecting #mumlife #mommytobe #pregnantlife #babyontheway #inspirepregnancy #mommychick #babychick
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📷: @emilyshapaka⁠
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#thanksgiving #happythanksgiving #family #grateful #thankful #babychick⁣ #mommychick #blessed #gratitude #happy #thankyou #happiness #givethanks #turkey #holiday #love #turkeyday #holidays #baby #babyturkey
Instagram post 17852562805720320 Loneliness is a real thing in new motherhood and I want to be sure we talk about this. It's okay to say, "I feel lonely." We normalize one another's experiences when we share the reality of our journey. It can be so isolating when we bring our small human home and our lives revolve around his/her care. We feel detached from the outside world. The monotony of new motherhood can be heavy.⁠
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Here are some tips to combat isolation:⁠
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1️⃣ Get outside when possible.⁠
2️⃣ Video chat with friends/family.⁠
3️⃣ Join a virtual group.⁠
4️⃣ Invite someone to come over.⁠
5️⃣ Find a local mom's group.⁠
6️⃣ Listen to the radio or a podcast (it's interesting how this can make us feel connected with others)⁠
7️⃣ Run an errand--even grabbing a coffee via drive-thru can feel good.⁠
8️⃣ Get to know your neighbors.⁠
What would you add to the list?⁠
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Repost: words and 📷 by @psychedmommy⁠
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Instagram post 17867282176536875 ⁠For the week of Thanksgiving (and longer if you can!) let's focus on what we DO have instead of what we lack. The more we express gratitude and appreciate our blessings the more we recognize all of our blessings and everything we should be thankful for. 💕⁠
📷: @hallmark⁠
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Instagram post 17855722339639264 ✈️ Tips to Survive a Plane Ride with Kids ✈️⁠
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Flying on a plane with your little one for the first time can be terrifying. Are they going to cry the whole time? How will they handle the airport, the turbulence and the landing? Well we have some tips that will help prepare you for your flight with your kids. Here's what to do to have a more enjoyable experience 😊 {Link in bio!}⁠
📷: unknown⁠
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Instagram post 17851960762699775 Sums up exactly how I feel during the holiday season . . . Wanting to do all the things to make Christmas magical, but also being so tired from adulting/parenting that sitting down and watching Hallmark Christmas movies sounds magical enough. ✨😂🎄🎅
But I still end up doing all the things for my baby. 🥰
(quote: @torturedbytoddlers)
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📷: @debiandbebi⁠
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📷: @hallmarkbaby⁠
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Instagram post 17872798477499657 When your child refuses to eat anything but carbs. 😑 #passtherolls⁠
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Instagram post 17853710218663622 ⁠When you put her in everything pink and even pink hair ties but everyone still calls your baby a boy. 😒😂🤷‍♀️⁠
📷: @newmumshub⁠
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Instagram post 17936649685321666 How many babies do you see?⁠ 😮⁠
📷: @danielmarquez33⁠
Repost: @maternity⁠
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Instagram post 17866700860543087 ❤️❤️❤️ Play is a love language for children.⁠
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Instagram post 17905061554388493 A little compassion can go a long way. ❤️ Here are some things that can help when in doubt ⁠what to do.⁠
📷: @healthline⁠
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Instagram post 17850784273708011 From fab to feral. 😹⁠ Love you, honey!⁠
📷: @mommymemejeans⁠
Repost: @onefunnymummy⁠
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Instagram post 18004974676264288 Or try to open the door mid-pee⁠. 😑😑😑 Thanks, kid.⁠
📷: @aleeandria⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #mommychick #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Instagram post 18070428667166782 My nightly skincare routine. 🤣🤣 For real though . . . I need all the help I can get. #latherup⁠
📷: unknown⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Instagram post 17852873872664390 Harvesting colostrum . . . look at all of that liquid gold!⁠ 😍 If your baby comes early or you are already lactating before baby arrives, it’s great to hand express into a teaspoon and gather what you’ve collected into a syringe. #breastfeedingtip
📷: @boo.b.ltd
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📷: @modernmomprobs⁠
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📷: @hallmarkbaby⁠
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