You Can Love Your Kids and Still . . . - Baby Chick
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You Can Love Your Kids and Still . . .

It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed as a mom. Learn how to recognize & deal with common emotions while still loving your kids.

Published November 2, 2022 Opinion

Being a mom is one of the most demanding things you can do. Never have you had someone so demanding of all of you: your time, your body, your attention. While the love is intense, so is everything else, but you can still love your kids despite their demands.

It takes a special sort of balancing act to be a mom, and much of it involves mom guilt. We worry about our kids and about our feelings about being a mom. We fear we’re doing something wrong or feeling something we shouldn’t. Here are some examples of emotions you may have that are normal. You can still love your kids no matter what; we all feel these things sometimes. It doesn’t mean you don’t adore your children and want to be with them, but being a parent is a new way of living.

You Can Love Your Kids and Still . . .

Want a Break

Being depended on all the time can get exhausting, so it’s only natural to want a break from your children. Sometimes we need time to ourselves to step away. It can be hard to think when surrounded by kids all the time. Taking a break is essential for your mental health.

Get Irritated

Kids constantly learn new things, test boundaries, and fight or have tantrums. It is natural to get irritated sometimes because we’re all human. Maybe it’s been a lot in one day, or you don’t feel good. Getting annoyed with kids sometimes is normal.

Not Want to Be Touched

Being “touched out” is a real thing. When you have someone constantly on or touching you, it can sometimes make your skin crawl. I’ve been there. It can get overstimulating and overwhelming, and you may need a moment without anyone touching you.

Want Them to Go to Bed

I love my kids fiercely, but I get tired or need some time without them around. Wanting them to go to bed so you can get that break you desperately need is normal.

Lose Your Temper

Everyone loses their temper sometimes, no matter how much you love your kids. You may be overwhelmed, or they aren’t listening to you. You can get frustrated and lose your temper. It happens, and it’s okay, trust me. Apologize for losing your temper and move forward.

Savor Your Alone Time

As parents, it is so hard to get some time alone. I know that I savor my alone time because it is so infrequent. But just because I need alone time doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids. I need this time to recharge for a bit.

Love Your Career

Whether you leave the house to work or work from home, it is okay to love your career. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids. Following your passion is vital to your fulfillment.

Miss Your Life From Before You Had Kids

Things were different before kids, so it is normal to remember those days fondly. You don’t have the free time that you used to have. Because life is so different, it is only natural to miss what used to be sometimes.

Not Like Their Choices

While we want the best for our kids, it is normal for them to make different decisions than we would. They are learning and may make mistakes. It can be challenging to accept, but it’s okay if you don’t agree with some of their choices.

Struggle With Being a Mom

Being a mom is demanding. It can also be stressful and a lot of work. It is okay to struggle with it sometimes. Not everything comes naturally, and you will learn many things you need to know on the job.

Want Them to Be Quiet

Kids can be so loud. Even if they’re playing and not fighting, it can be a lot to take. Sometimes, you just want them to be quiet, but quiet in a house is rare with kids. It’s okay to miss that.

Have Days When You Don’t Want to “Mom”

Some days we are just burned out, worn out, and tired. You may find yourself wishing you could take a day off. It is normal to need a break, but it doesn’t mean you love your kids any less.

Not Want to Play With Them

I tend to go in spurts with playing with my kids, but a lot of the time, I would rather have them play together so I can do something else. Even though I’m not always up for playing pretend, it doesn’t mean I love them any less. Sometimes, I’m just not up for it.

Have to Discipline Them

Discipline is hard. I know that it’s necessary because I love my kids and want to teach them, but I hate having to discipline them. When I have to, though, it’s because I love them and want to help them do better.

Want Them to Entertain Each Other

Instead of always being the source of entertainment, you may be waiting for the day when your kids can entertain each other. Always being the one to come up with ideas gets exhausting. As your kids get older, they will be better able to entertain themselves and each other.

Follow Your Passions

Having kids was one of the things I wanted for my life, but it wasn’t the only thing. Now that they are a bit older, I’m finding room to follow my passions. Just because I have something I want separate from them doesn’t mean I love them any less.

Wish They Could Do Things On Their Own

Doing everything for our kids can be a lot, so you may find yourself waiting for the day when they can do some of it on their own. This is normal. So is regretting them getting older at the same time.

Use Screen Time as an Escape

As I’ve mentioned, being a mom is demanding. Sometimes we’re tired and need a break. Using mobile devices and screens sometimes as a distraction to escape is okay. It doesn’t make you a bad mom.

Get Tired of Kid Activities

Having to do kid stuff all the time can wear on you, and it’s normal. Kids’ shows, movies, and activities can be a lot. Just because you’re burned out from playing hide-and-seek doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend time with them. You just need a break.

Give In

There are days when I give in to what my kids want. Maybe I don’t want the fight, or it’s just been that kind of a day. Giving in sometimes isn’t necessarily a terrible thing.

Dislike Certain Stages They Go Through

Everyone deals with different stages differently. Not all of the stages kids go through are great or fun, and that’s okay. You still love your kids even if you’re in a tough phase. And remember, the stage will be over before you know it.

Love for your kids is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced. It is all-consuming and intense but remember that you’re still human. Other feelings will sneak in occasionally, but that love is always underneath it all.

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  • Author

Kristen N. Winiarski spends much of her days battling her kids' hangry moods with bacon and Cookie Monster impressions. She also encourages dance parties as P.E. whenever possible. Kristen started… Read more

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