Being a mom is one of the most demanding things you can do. Never before has someone required so much of your time, your body, and your attention. While the love you feel for your kids is intense, so are the demands that come with caring for them.
Motherhood often brings guilt and self-doubt. We worry about our kids and about our own feelings as parents. We question whether we’re doing something wrong or feeling something we shouldn’t. But many of these emotions are normal. You can still love your kids deeply and experience these feelings at the same time. Parenthood is a new way of living, and it comes with a wide range of emotions.
You Can Love Your Kids and Still . . .
The feelings below are ones many parents experience at different points in motherhood.
Want a Break
Having your children depend on you all the time can get exhausting, so it’s only natural to want a break. Sometimes we need to step away and take some time for ourselves. It can be hard to think when surrounded by kids all the time. Taking a break is often essential for your mental health.
Related: The Importance of Me Time as a Mother
Get Irritated
Kids constantly learn new things, test boundaries, and fight or have tantrums. It is natural to get irritated sometimes because we’re all human. Maybe it’s been a lot in one day, or you’re not feeling well. Getting annoyed with kids sometimes is a normal part of parenting.
Not Want to Be Touched
Being “touched out” is a real thing. When you have someone constantly on or touching you, it can sometimes make your skin crawl. I’ve been there. It can get overstimulating and overwhelming, and you may need a moment without anyone touching you.
Want Them to Go to Bed
I love my kids fiercely, but I get tired and need some time away from them. Wanting them to go to bed so you can get that break you desperately need is normal.
Lose Your Temper
Everyone loses their temper sometimes, no matter how much you love your kids. You may feel overwhelmed, or they may not be listening to you. You can get frustrated and lose your temper. It happens, and it’s okay, trust me. Say sorry to your kids for losing your temper and move forward.
Related: How to Show Love to Your Kids When Angry
Savor Your Alone Time
As parents, it’s hard to find time alone. I know that I savor my alone time because it is so infrequent. But just because I need alone time doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids. I need some time to recharge.
Love Your Career
Whether you leave the house to work or work from home, it is okay to love your career. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids. Following your passion is vital to your fulfillment.
Miss Your Life From Before You Had Kids
Things were different before kids, so it is normal to remember those days fondly. You don’t have as much free time as you used to have. Because life is so different, it is only natural to miss what used to be sometimes.
Related: It’s Okay to Miss Who You Were Before You Became a Mom
Not Like Their Choices
While we want the best for our kids, it is normal for them to make different decisions than we would. They are learning and may make mistakes. It can be challenging to accept, but it’s okay if you don’t agree with some of their choices.
Struggle With Being a Mom
Being a mom is demanding. It can also be stressful and a lot of work. It is okay to struggle with it sometimes. Not everything comes naturally, and you will learn many things you need to know on the job.
Related: I Love My Baby, But I’m Struggling to Love Being a Mom
Want Them to Be Quiet
Kids can be so loud. Even if they’re playing and not fighting, it can be a lot to take. Sometimes, you just want them to be quiet, but quiet in a house is rare with kids. It’s okay to miss that.
Have Days When You Don’t Want to Mom
Some days, we are just burned out, worn out, and tired. You may find yourself wishing you could take a day off. It is normal to need a break, but it doesn’t mean you love your kids any less.
Related: Tips To Avoid Mom Burnout
Not Want to Play With Them
I tend to go in spurts with playing with my kids, but often, I would rather have them play together so I can do something else. Even though I’m not always up for playing pretend, it doesn’t mean I love them any less. Sometimes, I’m just not up for it.
Have to Discipline Them
Discipline is hard. I know that it’s necessary because I love my kids and want to teach them, but I hate having to discipline them. When I have to, though, it’s because I love them and want to help them do better.
Related: Tips To Discipline Your Child
Want Them to Entertain Each Other
Instead of always being the source of entertainment, you may be waiting for the day when your kids can entertain each other. Always being the one to come up with ideas gets exhausting. As your kids get older, they will be better able to entertain themselves and each other.
Follow Your Passions
Having kids was one of the things I wanted for my life, but it wasn’t the only thing I wanted. Now that they are a bit older, I’m finding room to follow my passions. Just because I have something I want separate from them doesn’t mean I love them any less.
Wish They Could Do Things On Their Own
Doing everything for our kids can be a lot, so you may find yourself waiting for the day when they can do some of it on their own. This is normal. So is regretting them getting older at the same time.
Use Screen Time for a Break
As I’ve mentioned, being a mom is demanding. Sometimes we’re tired and need a break. Using mobile devices and screens sometimes as a distraction to escape is okay. It doesn’t make you a bad mom.
Get Tired of Kid Activities
Having to do kid stuff all the time can wear on you, and it’s normal. Kids’ shows, movies, and activities can be a lot. Just because you’re burned out from playing hide-and-seek doesn’t mean you don’t want to spend time with them. You just need a break.
Give In
There are days when I give in to what my kids want. Maybe I don’t want the fight, or it’s just been that kind of a day. Giving in sometimes isn’t necessarily a terrible thing.
Dislike Certain Stages They Go Through
Everyone deals with different stages differently. Not all of the stages kids go through are great or fun, and that’s okay. You still love your kids, even if they’re going through a tough phase. And remember, the stage will be over before you know it.
Love for your kids is unlike anything else. It’s intense, all-consuming, and deeply meaningful.
But you’re still human. Other feelings will surface from time to time, and that’s okay. Loving your kids doesn’t mean you stop having needs, limits, or hard days. That love is still there underneath it all.
