Raise your hand if you are parenting an introverted child and need some tips to help them navigate the world. I can so relate because I was right there with you!
Our oldest kiddo is an extrovert—an extreme one at that—so when our second child started showing us that he’s more of an introvert, it was a brand new world for us. Even though I’m an introvert mom, it took me some time to learn how to help him feel supported and empowered as the awesome introvert he is.
5 Tips and Tricks That Helped Me Parent My Introverted Child
I’ve found some things that work well for parenting our introverted child.
1. Learn to Differentiate When He Is Tired vs. When He’s Just Had Too Much “People Time”
For my son, a lot of the behaviors he displays when he’s had too much people time look a lot like the behaviors he displays when he’s tired. I used to think we had to barrel through the day with an overtired (so I thought) kid until we could finally make it to nap time or bedtime. Over time, I’ve learned to think through what might be the source of his behavior and respond accordingly. If he’s been around many people throughout the day, I find that if I stop trying to “barrel through” and guide him in taking some time and space by himself, the behavior stops almost immediately.
2. Provide a Special Space to Be Alone
Create a special and safe space for your introverted kiddo to play alone when he needs some quiet time.
Now that I’ve learned to read my boy better, I can see when he needs a quiet recharge and encourage him to spend some time alone playing with his trains or books – we call it “special alone time” in our house. I must tell you, he has never once battled me on it. I get him all setup, and he starts playing immediately. He usually doesn’t even mutter a word to me as I leave the room. After he’s been able to play for a bit, he’s a changed boy. Completely back to himself. Presto Chango!
3. Be Conscious of Needs and Feelings When in Crowds
I’ve learned to pay closer attention to my little lad when we’re in large groups because, for him, these are the times he tends to get a bit overwhelmed.
Sometimes, he’s with his sisters or close friends and has a blast running around and playing. Other times, he stands off to himself, not ready to engage. I try to follow his cues. If he is standing by himself, I offer to hold him for a bit and then continue to check in with him until I can tell he feels more comfortable. I’ve been surprised at how aware he is of his own needs, even at the age of 2. When I ask him, he’ll tell me if he wants to stay with me, play alone, or interact with people.
4. Offer Gentle Guidance in Engaging With People
There are many things that I am grateful to my parents for, but one of the top on the list is the way they taught me to engage with people. Like my son, I was an introverted child and have grown into an introverted adult. My parents never forced me to engage people when I was not ready. However, they provided me with regular opportunities to learn how to socialize — how to make eye contact, use proper manners, ask people questions, and converse. Although engaging with people tends to tire my son and me, it is still a necessary skill that we all need to learn.
You can help guide your child in their social interactions with people by regularly presenting non-threatening opportunities to engage, offering ideas for engagement, and then allowing your child to engage on their own terms.
5. Celebrate Your Child’s Introverted Personality
Introverts have so many amazing qualities that are to be celebrated. Ensure that your child knows that you love those qualities in them and that you are happy they are the way they are!
