When you tell someone you are pregnant, the questions usually come quickly: “When are you due?” “How are you feeling?” “Do you know what you’re having?”

For some parents, finding out the sex of the baby is one of the most exciting parts of pregnancy. For others, waiting until birth feels even more special. If you are thinking about not finding out the sex of your baby, you might be wondering what that decision is actually like.

As a planner myself, I wondered the same thing. Here is what surprised me most about waiting, from the anatomy scan and nursery planning to the moment everyone says is worth it: meeting your baby.

Expect the Unexpected When You’re Not Finding Out

Waiting to find out can feel intimidating at first, especially if you like to plan ahead.

Answering the “Do you know what you’re having yet?” question with “We’re not finding out” often prompts someone to say they could never do that. They explain that it’s because they are a planner or have a type-A personality. Well, I’m here to tell you that even planners can survive pregnancy without finding out. And it won’t drive you crazy, at least for the most part.

In my day-to-day life, I consider myself a planner. Working off a schedule and to-do list is certainly in my nature. So, when my husband and I decided early on that we didn’t want to find out if we were having a boy or a girl, I picked my mindset. Once I did, I could take on the nine-month journey expecting the unexpected.

Skipping the Gender Reveal

One of the most obvious differences is that there is no big reveal halfway through pregnancy.

Okay, this is a no-brainer, but a gender reveal party is something moms-to-be will not experience during pregnancy. For those first 20 weeks or so, most women go through pregnancy not knowing the sex of their child. However, that all changes at the big 20-week checkup, or earlier, following genetic testing results.

Cue the gender reveal parties, social media posts, or private celebrations with your partner.

When my sonographer performed the 20-week anatomy scan, I explained to her that I did not want to know the sex of my child. Periodically, during her check, she would say, “Okay, now this is where you want to look away.” I’m a marketer and someone with absolutely no medical background. I hardly knew if I was looking at the head or the torso during those scans, but I obliged.

I’m going to be very honest. This is where it got a little bit harder to stick to my “expect the unexpected” mindset. Part of me wanted to peek and see if I could make a not-so-medical analysis of my own, but I held off. Since then, my curiosity about finding out has died down. But I certainly had a moment where I wanted to know, so I could share the exciting news with my friends and family and fuel my planner personality.

Related: 20 Week Anatomy Scan: What to Expect and How to Prepare

Decorating and Shopping Without Knowing the Sex

Planning for baby without knowing the sex can take a little creativity, but it is often more manageable than people expect.

This brings me to my next point: decorating the nursery and shopping for clothes. How does one do this without finding out the sex of their baby? Simple.

As you would expect, my nursery will be mostly gray. However, I’m okay with this. I would probably have planned it similarly if I knew the sex. This is my first baby, so gender-neutral paint and furniture will allow me to use the nursery again for future children of either sex without changing anything.

And no, it won’t be boring or plain because, following birth, I plan to purchase items that truly make it unique for my son or daughter. Trust me. I have been looking! I have a shopping cart full of boy and girl decor from my favorite stores’ websites. I plan to shop online in those early weeks following my baby’s birth.

The same goes for clothing. Excessively shopping for cute baby clothes is a weakness of mine. So this is when not knowing the sex has certainly come in handy. I can stick to the baby essentials and not go overboard! Following my showers, I plan to list the basics that are still needed and go from there. After all, a baby’s clothing needs don’t change depending on the sex. And there are many adorable gender-neutral patterns and prints available.

Related: Baby Registry Must-Haves: The Best Baby Items for New Parents

The Best Part: The Surprise

For many parents, the biggest reason to wait is the anticipation of meeting their baby at birth.

So, what has made me stay strong and committed to my “expect the unexpected” mindset? I’m going to chalk it up to the element of surprise.

What I didn’t tell you at the beginning of this article is that, following the “We’re not finding out” statement, the other response I received was fueled by the most genuine excitement. People will tell me how this is their experience, and that it was the best surprise ever. They go on to explain how it is something unlike anything else. Others share that it makes labor and delivery seem slightly less miserable because you’re working to find out who that little miracle on the other end is.

Related: Gender-Neutral Baby Names and Their Meanings

While everyone’s experience is unique, waiting to find out has brought its own kind of joy. For this planner at heart, the surprise has been worth it.

There are plenty of beautiful ways to prepare for your baby, whether you find out the sex during pregnancy or wait until birth. For me, waiting has made the anticipation even sweeter, and I know the moment of meeting my baby will be unforgettable.