My mom always said she didn’t have a favorite child, but I never fully believed it. She loved all four of us deeply, but I always thought she liked my oldest brother just a little more.
As we got older, we joked about it. Why did he always sit in the front seat? Why did she laugh the loudest at his jokes? She never confirmed it, but we all had our suspicions.
Having a Favorite Child Doesn’t Mean Loving Them More
I also have a big family, and after a gaggle of boys, I finally had my one and only daughter. My sons say she’s my favorite child, and they are probably right. But it has nothing to do with how much I love them. I am closer to her because she is a girl. And I fully admit that. The dynamic of our relationship is different, and I have learned to accept that. It may sound harsh, but it is something I have come to accept honestly.
Please understand me; my sons give me life. I was a mom of just boys for nearly a decade, and I knew nothing about having a daughter, which was just fine with me. I fully embraced whatever my boys loved and enjoyed every minute of it.. I have always done my best to show each of my children how important they are to me by doing things with them that are special just for them. One of my boys was obsessed with Thomas the Train, and if the child had one, he had 15 Thomas T-shirts. He loved Thomas, and I loved him, so it was perfectly natural for me to feed his obsession, and I did it with no guilt.
The same thing happened with dinosaurs and lizards. I’ve even attended a few Weird Al Yankovic concerts because he made my boys laugh. I wouldn’t change any of that. But I must be honest: things changed when my daughter was born. I suddenly felt like I was looking at a mirror image of myself and could share interests with her that my boys didn’t care about. And I loved it.
Related: Yes, I Love My Son and Daughter in Different Ways
Why Having a Daughter Changed My Perspective
Suddenly, having a girl meant a new world of bows, dresses, and darling little shoes. My dad told me that I treated her like a real-life baby doll. And he was right. I did. I never had a sister and never wanted one, but now, as a little girl’s mom, I realize another world was out there. Girls are different, and I was so, so thankful to have one, and I found myself feeling closest to her.
As she has gotten older, I’ve realized I enjoy being a girl mom. I love helping her pick out clothes and getting our nails done. She likes to shop, listen to music, and play with dolls. Those are all things I enjoy doing, too, so we do them together. My sons aren’t interested in that kind of thing. If they were, I would happily watch cake-decorating shows with them, but they couldn’t care less. So, I spend much of my time with her.
Yes, I understand her life a bit better because I went through similar things. I can talk to her about her changing body and feelings in a way that I can’t do with my sons. Yes, I am 100% open to discussing anything with all my children; nothing is taboo, and my husband is the same. But if I am being frank, it will be much easier for me to discuss cramps and tampons than for my husband, who has not experienced any of that.
Related: 5 Mom Hacks to Help Each Child Feel Extra Special
Yes, I Have a Favorite Child
Do I favor my relationship with my daughter? Yes. I do. I love that I have someone whose interests are similar to mine. She gives me advice on clothes and helps me pick out holiday decorations. My daughter is my mini, and we are a bit obsessed with each other. Having someone who wants to be like me fills my heart, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t love it, because I do. And that doesn’t make me a bad mom.
You aren’t a bad parent if you have a favorite child. We all have relationships that feel different, shaped by personality, shared interests, and life experiences. That does not take away from the love you have for your other children.
Having a favorite child does not mean your love is divided. It reflects connection and the unique bond you build with each of your kids. What matters most is making sure every child feels seen, valued, and deeply loved in their own way.
