Stopping Childhood Entitlement In Its Tracks

Stopping Childhood Entitlement In It's Track | Baby Chick

Stopping Childhood Entitlement In Its Tracks

Entitlement is the buzz word of this parenting generation. And while most parents know they do not want to raise an entitled child, they also have no idea what is causing this growing problem among youth. No one looks at the face of their precious baby and could ever imagine them being spoiled or bratty. But when the terrible twos hit, many new parents find themselves questioning if they really know what they’re doing as parents.

Are we by chance creating an entitled little one without even realizing it?

Well before you find yourselves worried you’re raising the next poster child for childhood entitlement, let’s take a step back and acknowledge you are still at the very beginning of your parenting career. If your children are still young enough to rock and swaddle at night. But it’s never too early to start healthy parenting patterns that combat entitlement. And it starts with first recognizing what entitlement is.

What is Childhood Entitlement?

Childhood Entitlement is the feeling that the world owes you something.

For a child it would mean believing that the things they want – like candy, toys and staying up late with no bedtime – are actually things they need. When children are left with parents who give too much to them, do too much for them or do not expect enough of them, entitlement continues to grow according to Jean Illsley in her book “How Much is Enough?

However, author Matt Haam teaches there is an easy way to stop this negative pattern by promoting what he calls the “gratitude cycle” – gratitude, growth and humility— within our homes. The more we practice these simple but profound strategies. The more we raise children that are responsible for their actions and grateful for what they have been given. Here are some of my favorite tips to do so:

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How Do I Stop It From Happening?

Build Self-Esteem

Children with high self-esteem are more responsible and less entitled. Because high self-esteem promotes caring for others and being grateful versus believing everyone owes you something. Children with high self esteem can learn from their mistakes instead of blaming others. An easy way to build self-esteem in a child is to use statements that show your love for the child. “I am so glad you are my son/daughter” or “I love being with you.” You aren’t proud because they did something for you. You are proud of them because they are them.

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude diminishes entitlement. So make it a regular daily practice with your children to have them identify one thing they are thankful for each morning when they wake up, at a meal time or before bed. Have them explain to you why they like it. And then share something you are thankful for too. Another great way to practice gratitude is to buy thank you notes and have children send notes when someone does something nice for them. It’s hard to overlook the good around you when you take time to notice it.

Give Age-Appropriate Chores

Parents make the mistake of assuming chores are about kids making a parent’s life easier by helping around the house. (WRONG.) But if you’ve ever looked at a basket of clothes folded by a child, you realize it really just doubles a parent’s work. The reason parents give chores to children is to teach our children responsibility and accountability. Two to three-year-olds are already ready for simple responsibilities like making their beds, putting clothes in the hamper and helping pick up their messes. There are always simple ways to help children begin to build responsibility around the house.

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Set Consistent Boundaries

Children have enough friends, they need parents. So set your rules for what’s okay and what’s not and stick to them. If you tell your child they are expected to hold your hand in the parking lot, then be consistent with your expectation. It is important for children to see that your boundaries for them are based off of their safety and well-being instead of their emotional demands.

Model Apologizing

Admitting and owning fault is one of the easiest ways for children to learn accountability. And this starts with us as the parents. When we make mistakes, it is important for us to model what an apology looks like. This helps our children see that apologies are healthy and a necessary part of life. Admitting that no one is perfect helps children be realistic about their shortcomings.

Teach Ownership of Mistakes

Children tend to play the blame game every time something bad happens. Which is why stopping this pattern before it starts is so important. So set a simple pattern of how you help your children acknowledge their own role in problems. Ask each child to say what their role in the fight or disagreement was and what effect that caused. Then ask them to share what they would do to make it go better for them the next time.

Follow Through with Consequences

Children need to know there are consequences when rules are broken or disrespect occurs. When children are warned there will be a consequence, but a parent does not follow through, they begin to learn they are calling the shots instead of the parent. This teaches them, “I can do what I want without any consequences.”And this leads to entitlement. So if you warn a child they will go to timeout if they continue doing something you’ve asked them to stop and they continue to ignore you, make sure to follow through.

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Being a parent is hard. The constant pressure to do the right thing can be debilitating sometimes. But making an effort to raise grateful, responsible, humble children will be one of the best things you can do for yourself and for them. You’ve got this, mama!

About the Author /

Quinn is a wife, boy mom (x’s 4), blogger at Sanctification and Spitup, host of the Renew You Podcast and licensed marriage and family therapist. She loves to encourage others in relationships through her speaking, writing or podcast episodes.

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I'm seriously needing some of these things tonight to start a new week. Hoping you mamas get some self care time too! 💕⁠
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Instagram post 18073051357163780 When it comes to clamping the cord, our mottos is "what's the rush?" The blood volume in the placenta and cord at the time of birth is BABY'S blood. It's simply mid-circulation in the placenta at the time of birth. It just makes sense to leave it be and let it finish its job.⁠
No, the blood won't drain out of baby and go backwards into the placenta.⁠
No, your baby is not more likely to get sick from jaundice.⁠
Yes, your baby will still be getting oxygen while they figure out breathing, especially important if they need resuscitation.⁠
Yes, your baby will have better iron levels for the first year of their life.⁠
Look at how thick and engorged this cord still is at 4 and 18 minutes after baby was born. Just imagine how much blood baby would have lost if the cord had been clamped immediately, or at 60 seconds, 90 seconds, or 3 minutes! The placenta was expelled immediately before the 18 minute photo was taken. The pulse in the cord could still be felt even AFTER THE PLACENTA HAD BEEN DELIVERED! The cord was finally clamped and cut more than an hour after birth at 73 minutes. ❤️⁠
📷: @lawrenrosephotography⁠
Informative post and words by @bundleborn⁠
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Here are some tips to combat isolation:⁠
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1️⃣ Get outside when possible.⁠
2️⃣ Video chat with friends/family.⁠
3️⃣ Join a virtual group.⁠
4️⃣ Invite someone to come over.⁠
5️⃣ Find a local mom's group.⁠
6️⃣ Listen to the radio or a podcast (it's interesting how this can make us feel connected with others)⁠
7️⃣ Run an errand--even grabbing a coffee via drive-thru can feel good.⁠
8️⃣ Get to know your neighbors.⁠
What would you add to the list?⁠
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📷: @hallmark⁠
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Flying on a plane with your little one for the first time can be terrifying. Are they going to cry the whole time? How will they handle the airport, the turbulence and the landing? Well we have some tips that will help prepare you for your flight with your kids. Here's what to do to have a more enjoyable experience 😊 {Link in bio!}⁠
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