Sexy Pregnancy: Not Only is it Possible, it’s Important

Sexy Pregnancy: Not Only is it Possible, it's Important | Baby Chick

Sexy Pregnancy: Not Only is it Possible, it’s Important

Sex makes babies. I mean, that’s obvious, right? But if that were the singular purpose of sex, we wouldn’t have so throughly inquired into the “accessories” of sex like, scent and clothing and toys and musical inspiration. Sex is, ultimately, a sensory experience and therefore a means of self-expression, of communication, and enjoyment, which keeps us energized enough to keep going through life. Without sex, our species would cease to evolve, let alone exist, not only for the propagation of the species, but because of the level of self awareness sex demands. Self-examination is not something that everyone engages with when it comes to sex, but by examining our own personal feelings about it can shed light on our individual experience of self-worth, self-trust, and self-gratification. Notice how many times I said, “self?”

Pregnant people have access to an entirely different set of sensations and bodily experiences which amounts to an enhanced state of sensuality. The high priority our culture places on standardized experience and appearance can wreak havoc on this unique experience not only for the pregnant person, but their partner and the overall relationship. How we feel about ourselves — physically or otherwise — determines the level of intimacy we are able to experience; not the amount of sex or babies we’re able to have, but the level of intimacy, of deep connection, we have.

Maybe you feel swollen and slow, heavy and irritated, but what about the sensation of taking a shower, or the scent of your favorite flower by your bed at night, or the taste of your morning tea? Your sensual body is not totally gone from you, and the more you connect to your body again and again and again, through all the changes, the more you connect to your power, to your baby, and the pleasure of being in a healthy and capable body. The fact is, as birthing bodies, we’re supposed to swell and stretch and leak and tear, and that’s actually a good sign! To be in a birthing body means having access to all that makes life so precious — it’s temporary, it changes whether you want it to or not, and it’s literally life-giving. You are a resource for nourishment and sustenance for your child, and the more you discipline yourself (let’s be serious, it takes effort to break free of the belief that we “aren’t sexy enough”) to be reverent of your own body, the more you will be revered.

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Sensuality is not only intercourse. It is your sense of smell, taste, touch, sight and hearing. When it comes to the body, in order to feel the good, you also have to be willing to feel the not so good. Pain is part of having a body that feels pleasure, so if you let yourself fixate on what doesn’t feel good — ugh my ankles, ugh my thighs, ugh my back, ugh, my hemorrhoids — you inadvertently numb yourself to the good things! Oh, my nipples! Oh, my shoulders! Oh, my…. there are definitely still good things. You simply must give yourself permission to ask for what you want.

Pregnancy is the perfect time to have that “never-the-right-time” conversation with your lover: “You know, it doesn’t feel very good when you touch me like that, but it feels really good when you do this.” “I need you to be still and hold me here.” “I want you to speak softly in my ear.” This kind of clarity is only possible when you’re willing to engage with your experience of you senses more than your appearance. THIS is the secret. Sense your body, feel your feelings, notice your thoughts responding to your emotions, and express yourself. The way to freedom is through expression of your needs and desires, and if we feel shame — body shame, shame for wanting or needing something we’re not getting, we foster resentment. Resentment is like a wall that blocks us from our own body. If you can’t feel your body, the possibility of pleasure in your partnership, your pregnancy, and your labor will elude you. Embrace the curve of your belly as proof of your adaptability and resilience. Relish the way it feels to rub your shea butter into your skin. Express verbally how it feels when your child moves inside of you. That willingness to be in your sensual body is sexy.

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You don’t have to love the skin you’re in to get pregnant, but when it comes to getting your baby out, feeling good in your body goes a long way toward an easier labor, not to mention your mental and emotional recovery.

The fact is that what gets the baby in gets the baby out — oxytocin. A revved up engine gets you to the end of the road faster than a nervous one, and while there’s nothing obviously sexy about a laboring body, it’s ultimately the power under the hood that gets you where you want to go. The way you feel about yourself is, ultimately, the fuel you need to keep things moving smoothly.

Your willingness to be in the full experience of your senses — the smells, sights, sensations, flavors and sounds of birth, relates us back to our sexuality, to the pleasure of being in a body, and during labor this sensitivity becomes extremely helpful in easing the process. By staying present you are generating enough momentum and power to ride the waves of each contraction to push your baby into their first breath.

About the Author /

Stacey Ramsower is a Somatic Sex Educator and a full-spectrum doula. She has been using yoga, Ayurveda, and somatic practices to support people in their intimate healing journeys for over fifteen years. When she's not teaching / coaching, Stacey prefers to be immersed in Mother Nature in the company of loved ones.

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Becoming a new mother, whether it be your first baby or your sixth, is filled with so many emotions. 🎢 Figuring out your new normal can take a minute as you recover from giving birth and get to know your new baby. People will be at your doorstep in no time wanting to congratulate you and meet your baby, but sometimes people aren't necessarily thinking about what they can do for YOU to be helpful. If you know someone who has recently had a baby or if you are currently expecting, today’s podcast episode is for you! ❤️ {Link in bio!}⁠
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Going to keep it real here, your fitness game is going to change after having kids. If you were crushing it before having babies, you're going to find that the free time for working out isn't what is used to be.⁠
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Regardless of where you were at, there are things you can do to make your heath a priority and be a good example to your little ones.⁠
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1. Don't rush back. There's no gold star here. Take your time, get the clearance from your OB/midwife and start when you're ready.⁠
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2. Schedule your workouts. Like most things in life now, you're on a schedule. Create time in your new life for you -- you'll thank yourself later.⁠
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3. Ask for Help. Chances are high that the Mom down the street is looking for some kid free time as well. You take an hour, she takes an hour and we're all better off for it.⁠
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4.  Embrace the little things. Your day will present opportunities to get your butt moving. Find them.⁠
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5. Get a new outfit. Because, duh.⁠
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6. Join a fitness community. It's scientifically proven that external motivators work when it comes to starting and sticking with a fitness routine. Utilize your community for support and motivation.⁠
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When you meet your baby(ies) and your whole world changes. 💕
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Speak your partner's love language in postpartum. Send this resource to your loved one so that they can make you feel loved and supported in a meaningful way.⁠
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