Sexy Pregnancy: Not Only is it Possible, it’s Important

Sexy Pregnancy: Not Only is it Possible, it's Important | Baby Chick

Sexy Pregnancy: Not Only is it Possible, it’s Important

Sex makes babies. I mean, that’s obvious, right? But if that were the singular purpose of sex, we wouldn’t have so throughly inquired into the “accessories” of sex like, scent and clothing and toys and musical inspiration. Sex is, ultimately, a sensory experience and therefore a means of self-expression, of communication, and enjoyment, which keeps us energized enough to keep going through life. Without sex, our species would cease to evolve, let alone exist, not only for the propagation of the species, but because of the level of self awareness sex demands. Self-examination is not something that everyone engages with when it comes to sex, but by examining our own personal feelings about it can shed light on our individual experience of self-worth, self-trust, and self-gratification. Notice how many times I said, “self?”

Pregnant people have access to an entirely different set of sensations and bodily experiences which amounts to an enhanced state of sensuality. The high priority our culture places on standardized experience and appearance can wreak havoc on this unique experience not only for the pregnant person, but their partner and the overall relationship. How we feel about ourselves — physically or otherwise — determines the level of intimacy we are able to experience; not the amount of sex or babies we’re able to have, but the level of intimacy, of deep connection, we have.

Maybe you feel swollen and slow, heavy and irritated, but what about the sensation of taking a shower, or the scent of your favorite flower by your bed at night, or the taste of your morning tea? Your sensual body is not totally gone from you, and the more you connect to your body again and again and again, through all the changes, the more you connect to your power, to your baby, and the pleasure of being in a healthy and capable body. The fact is, as birthing bodies, we’re supposed to swell and stretch and leak and tear, and that’s actually a good sign! To be in a birthing body means having access to all that makes life so precious — it’s temporary, it changes whether you want it to or not, and it’s literally life-giving. You are a resource for nourishment and sustenance for your child, and the more you discipline yourself (let’s be serious, it takes effort to break free of the belief that we “aren’t sexy enough”) to be reverent of your own body, the more you will be revered.

Sensuality is not only intercourse. It is your sense of smell, taste, touch, sight and hearing. When it comes to the body, in order to feel the good, you also have to be willing to feel the not so good. Pain is part of having a body that feels pleasure, so if you let yourself fixate on what doesn’t feel good — ugh my ankles, ugh my thighs, ugh my back, ugh, my hemorrhoids — you inadvertently numb yourself to the good things! Oh, my nipples! Oh, my shoulders! Oh, my…. there are definitely still good things. You simply must give yourself permission to ask for what you want.

Pregnancy is the perfect time to have that “never-the-right-time” conversation with your lover: “You know, it doesn’t feel very good when you touch me like that, but it feels really good when you do this.” “I need you to be still and hold me here.” “I want you to speak softly in my ear.” This kind of clarity is only possible when you’re willing to engage with your experience of you senses more than your appearance. THIS is the secret. Sense your body, feel your feelings, notice your thoughts responding to your emotions, and express yourself. The way to freedom is through expression of your needs and desires, and if we feel shame — body shame, shame for wanting or needing something we’re not getting, we foster resentment. Resentment is like a wall that blocks us from our own body. If you can’t feel your body, the possibility of pleasure in your partnership, your pregnancy, and your labor will elude you. Embrace the curve of your belly as proof of your adaptability and resilience. Relish the way it feels to rub your shea butter into your skin. Express verbally how it feels when your child moves inside of you. That willingness to be in your sensual body is sexy.

You don’t have to love the skin you’re in to get pregnant, but when it comes to getting your baby out, feeling good in your body goes a long way toward an easier labor, not to mention your mental and emotional recovery.

The fact is that what gets the baby in gets the baby out — oxytocin. A revved up engine gets you to the end of the road faster than a nervous one, and while there’s nothing obviously sexy about a laboring body, it’s ultimately the power under the hood that gets you where you want to go. The way you feel about yourself is, ultimately, the fuel you need to keep things moving smoothly.

Your willingness to be in the full experience of your senses — the smells, sights, sensations, flavors and sounds of birth, relates us back to our sexuality, to the pleasure of being in a body, and during labor this sensitivity becomes extremely helpful in easing the process. By staying present you are generating enough momentum and power to ride the waves of each contraction to push your baby into their first breath.

About the Author /

Stacey Ramsower is a Somatic Sex Educator and a full-spectrum doula. She has been using yoga, Ayurveda, and somatic practices to support people in their intimate healing journeys for over fifteen years. When she's not teaching / coaching, Stacey prefers to be immersed in Mother Nature in the company of loved ones.

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Let’s talk about potty training! It’s one of those monumental milestones we mamas walk through with our toddlers that make them suddenly seem like they went from babies to tiny little humans overnight. And, while it can be an exciting time (and a time to save some serious cash by ditching diapers), it can also come with lots of stress. 🙃 From cleaning up potty accidents for what may seem like days (or even weeks) to wondering if you’ll ever be able to drive further than down the block without having to stop for a potty break 🤦‍♀️, potty training can be daunting.⁠
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But, what many moms agree on is that once it’s done, you kinda forget about all the stress that came along with it. Kinda like pregnancy and giving birth —you just sort of forget about it all until you do it all over again.⁠ 🤪⁠
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5️⃣ Paternity leave! If you have it TAKE IT. The early stages of a child's life are not just for moms to enjoy. I know as men making the money especially after having a baby it's hard, but trust me. You can always make money but there are no instant replays in life. It doesn't make you more of a man to not take the leave. It's equally as important that you as a Dad get to be a part of the early development of your child. ⁠
If someone needs this info tag them ❤️⁠
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1️⃣ Look for signs of readiness:⁠
- Diaper dry for at least 1-2 hours.⁠
- Pulling at their diaper when its wet or soiled.⁠
- Hiding or fidgeting when going pee or poo in diaper.⁠
- Interest in others using the potty.⁠
- Waking up with a dry diaper after naps.⁠
- Telling you when they have gone pee or poo.⁠
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Potty training is much quicker if your child is showing the above signs, but you can start before this.⁠
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2️⃣ What you will need to buy:⁠
- Toilet seat insert to place on your toilet⁠
- Steps⁠
- Underwear (at least 10 pairs)⁠
- Foldable toilet seat (for when you are out of the house)⁠
- Piddle pad (for car journeys)⁠
- Waterproof shoes such as crocs, sliders, etc. (they can be rinsed and dried)⁠
- Not necessary but helpful: flushable wipes⁠
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3️⃣ Getting yourself and your child prepared:⁠
- Talk to your child about using the potty, maybe take them into the bathroom when you go and talk them through the process (e.g. wiping, flushing, and washing hands, etc.)⁠
- Practice pulling pants or shorts up and down.⁠
- Look on YouTube with your child at some potty training stories (e.g. 'I Want My Potty' and 'Pirate Pete's Potty')⁠
- Involve your child in choosing and buying everything you need - choosing character-themed underwear is usually very exciting!⁠
- Sit your child on the potty at every diaper change, first thing in the morning and just before bed to get them used to sitting on the toilet.⁠
- Teach your child the correct vocabulary or signs needed to communicate when they need to go potty.⁠
- Make sure you have plenty of spare clothes.⁠
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4️⃣ Let's get toilet trained:⁠
- Get your child to choose a pair of underwear and put them on.⁠
- Talk to them about using the toilet and communicating when they need to pee or poo. You can sit them on the toilet at this point if you wish.⁠
- Take your child to the toilet every 15/20 minutes. Say "let's go to the potty" rather than asking "do you want to go to the toilet" - if you ask, they are likely to say no! Also, look for signs like moving from side-to-side or hiding. These are normal signs that they might need to go potty.⁠
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(Continue reading in the comments!)
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