Do you feel like you are burning the candle at both ends? There are few roles more demanding than becoming a new parent. Between caring for your baby and adjusting to an entirely new rhythm of life, it can be easy to put your own needs last.
As the new year begins, consider setting resolutions that focus on caring for yourself, too. Supporting your own physical and emotional well-being is one of the most meaningful ways to care for your baby. These gentle resolutions are meant to help you feel more grounded, rested, and supported as you navigate this new season.
New Year’s Resolutions for the New Parent
These resolutions are not about doing more, but about slowing down and giving yourself permission to meet your own needs during early parenthood.
Start by checking in with yourself using HALT
Begin by evaluating how you are feeling at any given time. There is a great acronym: HALT. Are you feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Take a moment to pause and take a few deep breaths, connecting with how you feel. If you can identify feelings of hunger, anger, loneliness, or fatigue, address these first.
Some of these things can be reasonably easy to fix. Grab a bite to eat, call a friend, or try to find time to lie down for a few minutes. It’s surprising how refreshing a very short power nap can be. Some of these are a little bit more complicated.
If you are feeling angry, take some time to explore this. Are you resentful, frustrated, or unfulfilled? What is contributing to the anger? Is it something you can discuss with your partner or a good friend to come up with some solutions? By the way, this is also a helpful acronym with your baby. Could she be hungry, angry, lonely, or overtired if she is having an irritable day? Always try to meet these most basic needs first in you and your baby.
Take the time to reconnect with yourself
Sometimes, when we become parents, we lose a little bit of our identity, and it can take a long time to regain that. However, it is essential to hold onto a piece of it for feelings of fulfillment and self-preservation. Is there something you used to enjoy that you have not done since your baby was born? Maybe you used to play tennis, garden, or write in a journal each night.
If you no longer participate in these little habits or stress-relieving activities, it might be time to resolve to pick up that tennis racket again. It may be hard to leave your little one behind for an hour or two, but you will return feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, able to be a more attentive parent. By meeting your needs first, you will be more equipped to meet your little one’s needs.
Related: Identity Crisis of Motherhood: You’re Not “Just A Mom”
Make time to reconnect with your partner
Another important thing to consider is taking time alone with your partner. Remember, your baby entered into your relationship and your family. The two of you come first, and spending time on your relationship is important.
Schedule a date night every now and then. Grandma would probably love a few hours alone with her grandson, and you can have some adult conversation and eat with two hands! Maybe watch a movie, go out with friends, and have some adult conversation. One night out does wonders for feelings of fulfillment. If you work all day and feel guilty about going out in the evening, remember that work is not play for you. Work is work and does not count as relaxation or leisure. For a well-balanced life, you need a balance between work, play, and leisure.
Related: 5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong After Baby
Find time to be alone
Maybe you haven’t taken the time to be alone and process your thoughts specifically for yourself. You may feel alone all day because you’re alone with a baby who doesn’t speak to you, but that is not the same as genuinely taking time for yourself. You are focused on your baby all day: Their wants, needs, and schedule. Perhaps you could take some time to go for a walk in the evening or step outside to sit on the porch or do some gardening. Or, if you enjoy bubble baths, make it an experience by lighting a candle, sipping a glass of wine, and genuinely enjoying your time alone as you reflect on your day.
Related: The Importance of Me Time as a Mother
Rekindle friendships
Don’t forget to stay connected to friends. Schedule lunches together when you can. Bring your baby along or plan an evening to grab a drink together after your partner comes home. This connection will help keep you grounded and provide an outlet to discuss what is going on in your life and how you feel about things.
Being a new parent is a major life transition, and it is normal to feel exhausted by the change. While everything around you feels new, it is important not to lose yourself in the process. When you care for yourself, you are better able to care for your baby. Resolve to find small ways to refill your cup each day. Your baby will benefit from a parent who feels supported and whole.
