Every mom has her own parenting style, and no two families look exactly alike. We hear labels like crunchy mom, helicopter mom, tiger mom, and plenty more. But what about the moms who don’t fit neatly into just one category?
Every time I scroll through social media, I find myself comparing my parenting to everyone else’s. One child is eating their fifth Happy Meal of the week (and it’s only Wednesday), while another is happily nursing well past toddlerhood. My feed is full of parents making choices that look completely different from my own.
Some parenting choices look a lot like mine. Others aren’t what I’d choose for my own family, and that’s okay. Somewhere between the crunchy moms and the proudly hot-mess moms is a group of parents who borrow a little from both worlds. If that sounds familiar, you just might be a crispy mom.1
5 Signs You Might Be a Crispy Mom
If you don’t quite identify with either parenting style, you just might be a crispy mom. Not quite crunchy, but not all the way floppy, either.
1. You’re Not Really Anti-Anything
It’s exhausting to be a mom. Heck, it’s just tiring to be a human being with responsibilities. You don’t have the energy it takes to exert the amount of effort others use to be against something all the time. You’re glad they’re doing it enough for all of us because sometimes you nod with them and agree, but turn your focus elsewhere. They’ve got this.
Related: Types of Parenting Styles Explained by an Expert
2. You’ve Tried a Little Bit of Everything
Cloth diapering? Check. Supplementing with formula? Check. Doing whatever it takes to survive parenthood? Double. Freaking. Check. You’ve tried everything in the name of figuring out what works best for your family. That means you’ve done some things neither the crunchy mom nor “let them raise themselves” mamas would ever do, and that’s okay by you.
3. You Research, But You Don’t Panic
You’re cautious, but you’re not ruled by fear. You do your research, ask questions, and maybe even check Dr. Google more than you should. But you also trust your pediatrician and your instincts when making decisions for your family. You tell yourself you’re not worrying too much, even though you know a few parents who could probably worry a little less.
4. You Don’t Fight Every Parenting Battle Online
Remember that whole “not really being anti-anything?” It’s true online, too. Rather than feeling the need to correct every mom who parents differently than you, you do something magical: you keep scrolling. You might have an opinion, but you don’t make it your mission to change someone else’s mind. It hasn’t worked on you, after all, so why would it work on them?
Related: Gentle Parenting: What It Is and How to Practice It
5. Your Parenting Style Depends on the Day
Perhaps you didn’t try to breastfeed, but also didn’t circumcise your son. Maybe you skip one crunchy choice but fully embrace another. Just because you aren’t diehard about things doesn’t mean you don’t feel strongly about all things parenting. It just means that you’ve resigned yourself to understanding certain things work for your family and others don’t.
Conventional wisdom would have us believe people tend to gravitate one way or another in every facet of life, from politics to parenthood. For many of us, real life looks different than what we imagined before becoming parents. The choices that matter most often become the ones that work for your child, your family, and your season of life. Sometimes that even changes from one child to the next.
Crispy mom, your feet may not be firmly planted in just one parenting camp, and that’s okay. Appreciate the crunchy moms, appreciate the go-with-the-flow moms, and know that finding the middle ground can serve your family just fine.
