A lovey can be anything your baby is attached to and brings them comfort. For my 2-year-old, it’s her “moon blanket” that we used to swaddle her in. For my 4-and-a-half-year-old, sometimes it’s the little trophy she got at her school trike-a-thon (yes, she really slept with it for a month!), and other times it’s the snuggly bear Grandpa gave her.
No matter what they choose as a lovey, the goal is to help your little one comfortably and confidently transition from being with you all day to sleeping independently at night—separation anxiety peaks at 12 months, 18 months, and around two years old. Remember, Mama, separation anxiety is an entirely normal part of childhood. Separation anxiety proves you are building a strong attachment with your little one! Having a lovey for your child to snuggle up to can ease the transition at bedtime.
When and How to Introduce a Lovey
Introducing a lovey at the right time can help your baby feel secure and confident as they learn to sleep more independently.
Once your child is one year old, allowing them to sleep with a lovey is safe. Before one, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies sleep with nothing else in the crib to reduce the risk of SIDS.1 The AAP also recently updated its safe sleep guidelines. A new lovey is a great first birthday gift!
Start Small and Keep it Cozy
Keep it simple for a one-year-old who isn’t used to sleeping with anything. Don’t start with a giant stuffed animal that will overwhelm them, and always check for loose stitching or detachable parts before bedtime use.
I love these little cotton Muslin security blankets by Aden and Anais. They’re small enough not to overwhelm babies or parents who are nervous about letting their baby sleep with something for the first time. Babies love the silky edge, and *bonus*—they’re sold in a two-pack, so you always have a backup!
Another option is this Pro Goleem Lovey. These have a little animal on the top and a small attached blanket. There aren’t any buttons or plastic pieces for the eyes or nose, which is great since those can be choking hazards. The attached blanket has a minky dot fabric on one side and satin on the underside. It is so soft and cuddly. The best part is that there are tons of characters to choose from, so you can pick one that your little one will love the most. They usually love holding it by the little animal’s face!
If you want to go the stuffed animal route, I can’t say enough good things about Cuddle + Kind’s hand-knit dolls. The quality is impeccable, and we can all get behind their mission to provide food to children in need. I recommend opting for the smaller-sized doll as a first-time lovey.
Getting Ready to Introduce the Lovey
Preparation is key to creating a positive connection between your baby and their new comfort object.
After buying your lovey, the first thing you need to do is buy a hundred more! Okay, not a hundred, but get at least one backup. This will be what your little one uses to feel comfortable, so you’ll want extras. Trust me, you don’t want it to be bedtime and the lovey is still wet in the washing machine because you forgot to switch it to the dryer. I am speaking from experience here—cue toddler meltdown.
Before you present the new lovey to your little one, sleep with it yourself for a night. Babies are comforted by the smell of Mama. If this new thing smells like Mommy, your little one will instantly be drawn to it.
Related: Why Kids Love Their Stuffed Animals (Backed by Science)
How to Introduce the Lovey
When it’s time to introduce the lovey, focus on connection and calm. Avoid presenting it during stressful moments or when your baby is upset.
The first time you offer the lovey, make sure your baby is in a happy, relaxed state. Don’t give it to them when they’re hungry or scared—we don’t want to associate those feelings with the lovey. Show them how soft it is by gently rubbing it on their arm or cheeks. Let them explore the different textures, and consider giving the lovey a cute name.
The best way to help your baby connect with their lovey and associate it with sleep is to use it consistently during your bedtime routine (and naptime).
Try these steps:
- After bath time: Bring the lovey into the bathroom and say something like, “Lovey is sleepy and wants to snuggle!” Let your baby hold it as you wrap them in a towel.
- During dressing: Have your little one hold their lovey while you put on their diaper and pajamas. You can play peek-a-boo or give extra cuddles to make this time playful and relaxed.
- At brushing time: “Brush” the lovey’s teeth first, then your baby’s. Let them take a turn—it makes the routine fun and engaging.
- Before bed: While reading books, let your baby hold and snuggle their lovey. Keep it close during rocking and lullabies so it becomes a familiar comfort cue.
- At bedtime: Place the lovey in your baby’s hand or next to them in their safe sleep space. The scent and feel of it will help them transition more confidently into independent sleep.
Tip: Don’t force it. Some babies take time to bond with their lovey, and others may choose a different comfort object entirely. As your child grows, their favorite item might change—and that’s okay. As long as it’s safe and soothing, let them decide what brings comfort.
Related: Tips for Helping Baby Sleep Through the Night
Watching your baby bond with their lovey is such a sweet milestone. It will soon become their loyal sleep companion and a treasured part of childhood. Here’s to this small but meaningful step toward growing up with love and security.
