5 Tips for Peacefully Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

5 Tips for Peacefully Parenting a Strong-Willed Child | Baby Chick

5 Tips for Peacefully Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

As the parent of not only a three-nager, but an incredibly strong-willed child, it’s an understatement to say that parenting this type of personality can be challenging. We began to notice bold tendencies in our daughter pretty much immediately, and during these toddler years, it’s been undeniably stressful at times to know exactly how to handle her by peacefully parenting in certain situations.

However, though I don’t have all the answers – though I’m far from a perfect parent – and though I’m still learning how to do this mom thing – there are certain things my husband and I have incorporated in parenting her that have made our days, and nights, more peaceful than not.

So, in an effort to be a lending hand if you have a strong-willed children, here are 5 tips for peacefully parenting your strong-willed child:

1. Give them choices.

For our daughter, we found that giving her choices was highly effective. There are many times where we tell her to do something, and she starts to throw a fit because she doesn’t want to do it. Or, we start making dinner, and she begins to freak out in disapproval concerning what we’re going to feed her. Or, when we put her to bed, she gets upset with the kind of stuffed animal we give her to sleep with.

So in these cases, we give her only two choices, and she has to pick one of them. When she starts getting upset, we will say:

“Okay, you either pick up your toys, or you go put the books back on the shelf. Which one do you want to do?”

or

“You can either eat the spaghetti we are making, or eat leftover chicken from last night. Which one do you want?”

or

“You can either sleep with the purple dog, or the pink bear. Which one will you choose tonight?”

With strong-willed personalities, giving them choices also gives them a sense of control of the final decision – while at the same time, it’s still aligning with the parent’s motive to get their child to abide by the same plan and schedule, too.

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2. Divert their attention.

Naturally, toddlers and kids have one-track minds and self-centered tendencies, especially kids with strong-willed personalities. They want what they want, when they want it, the way they want it. Yet, since they are still young, their minds are easily distracted by things that they might find more interesting.

For our daughter, we’ve learned that diverting her attention away from the current problem lessens the severity or time length of a potential tantrum or cry-sesh. So during moments when she is upset that Netflix isn’t loading, or when she fell down and scraped her knee outside, or when she is begging for a piece of candy at the grocery store counter, we will instead say things like:

“Looks like the internet is down. But guess what?! Would you like to take a walk down to the park and play on the slide?! It’s a beautiful day outside, maybe some of your friends will be there!”

or

“I’m so sorry you fell down and hurt yourself. Here, let’s go pick out which bandaid you want to put on – the Elsa one, or the Mickey one? And then you can show your pretty bandaid to Daddy when he comes home from work!”

or

“You know what, that candy needs to stay in the box. But guess who has candy at her house? GRANDMA! We’re going to her house right after this, and you can pick which one you want!”

Diverting their attention to something else that they enjoy will steer their mind away from the current problem and give them something to look forward to instead.

3. Try to understand their point of view.

During fits or tantrums, sometimes we have no idea what triggered it or what she is upset about in the first place. It’s easy to want to throw up your hands and just ignore it, or get angry, or just want to give up and give in with whatever they’re demanding. However, I’ve learned to try to put myself in her shoes – in the mind of a 3-year-old – who clearly has drama levels and theatrics that skyrocket high above my 28-year-old level of rationale and reasoning.

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I’ll tell her during these fits, “Baby, use your words. Otherwise I don’t know why you’re crying.” Once she tells me, I have to realize that yeah, it probably is pretty devastating for a 3-year-old that her favorite Moana necklace is broken. Or yeah, it probably is frustrating that her little brother yanked on her ponytail for the 45th time. Or yeah, it probably is scary to see shadows in the closet at nighttime.

Acknowledge their frustrations. Understand that their fears are legitimate. Recognize their hurts as if they are highly important. Don’t brush those things off – instead, embrace them. Love on them. Let them talk it through, and talk to them right back with a tone of love and patience.

4. Remove them from the situation during tantrums.

And then other times . . it’s inevitable. They’re going to throw fits, and it’s going to seem like nothing is working. During moments like this, we literally have to just pick her up and remove her from the situation.

If it’s at home, we will pick her up and place her in her time-out chair in the corner of the kitchen, away from her toys and other distractions, with a timer set until she is allowed to come out. If it’s in public, we will pick her up and take her out to the car, and tell her that we won’t go back inside until she stops crying.

It’s important to realize and understand that discipline is still vitally important for us to train up our children to become respectable humans one day – and for us, removing our strong-willed daughter from all the action has been the most effective way for her to learn to obey. We still need to take control as parents, even with kids who seem to always want to take control themselves.

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5. Don’t discipline during emotional moments.

By far, the most ineffective way to get through to a strong-willed child, is to try to discipline them when emotions are at its highest. She’s screaming, you’re frustrated, she’s crying, you’re fed up, she’s flopping around, you’re yelling at her. Nope – with strong-willed children, disciplining during the heat of it all will only make it worse, and they will never learn from it. Instead, they will only react negatively, and remember it negatively – and so will you.

We have had to learn to just wait – simply, wait. Allowing her, and us, to cool off before we can have any sort of stern discussion. Allowing time to pass for patience to enter, which will give us just enough grace to discipline her in a way that is out of unconditional love. Allowing a change of scenery or separation in separate rooms of the house to give us enough grace to handle this parenting struggle the right way – full of calculated wisdom rather than emotional foolishness.

Through it all, though, remember this about your strong-willed child:

Their personality will make them a leader one day.

Their drive will make them successful one day.

Their ambition will make them an inspiration to people one day.

Their strength will make them a world-changer one day.

And with tears in your eyes and a heart full of pride, you’ll watch them and say, “That’s my baby.”

About the Author /

Wife, mother of two, a former CBS station news reporter and TV morning show host, and owner of HealthierHannah.com

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Ultimately, we aim for balance. We weigh the yes's and the no's, the achievements and the mistakes, the pervasive chaos and the rare hints of order, the unanticipated triumphs and the likely defeats. We wait; we hold our breath, we wade through the mess, accept that losses are part of this experience and proceed mindfully through this eventful life transition. Then, when we aren't looking, some of the losses on our list return to us, sometimes the way we remember them, sometimes as part of our new normal. Either way, the payoff is usually worth the wait.” #goodmomshavescarythoughts #speakthesecret⁠
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EXACTLY! 🧟‍♀️😴⁠ (via @cydbeer via Tw EXACTLY! 🧟‍♀️😴⁠
(via @cydbeer via Twitter)⁠
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Now that I have a family of my own I want to make Super Bowl Sunday just as fun for them. 🤩 But, I really don't want to spend all day in the kitchen, especially after the madness of all that holiday cooking. 😓 So, I've come up with some easy, but delicious, Super Bowl Sunday snacks the whole family with love! ❤️ You can do just one or two of these, or the whole lot of them if you're feeling ambitious! Enjoy! 😋 {Click 🔗 in bio to see the recipes!}⁠
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Thank you, Chris Harrison, for that note. 😑😒 Thank you, Chris Harrison, for that note. 😑😒⁠
📷: @with_love_becca⁠
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Just a few small things can make a world of differ Just a few small things can make a world of difference. ❤️⁠
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💥⁠
She created and grew an entire human being, got preeclampsia, recovered from that and a surgical birth to bring her baby into her arms earlier than she expected. Spent countless hours in the NICU, died as a maiden. Transformed into a mother. Learned to run in her new postpartum body. And returned to the world better, faster and stronger than ever by breaking a record that moved her past the fastest man alive. Yeah . . .⁠
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Today we're sharing six yoga poses that can be done universally with any age—including toddlers. We’ve also included a conversation prompt if you’d like to dialogue with your child throughout the exercise. (As a reminder, don’t be discouraged if your child is acting silly or can’t master a yoga pose. The point is to have fun and relax, above all else!)⁠
{Click on 🔗 in our bio to continue reading!}⁠
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📷: @alrightmom⁠
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Any pregnant mamas out there relate?⁠
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A fabulous visual of cervical dilation. Women's bo A fabulous visual of cervical dilation. Women's bodies are incredible. 🙌💕⁠
Board by: @treasuresfromjennifer
📷: unknown⁠
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Anger. Rage. Frustration. Guilt. Shame. Remorse. A Anger. Rage. Frustration. Guilt. Shame. Remorse. Apologies. Self-digust. All make mothering complicated and layered with conflicting emotions.⁠
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Make space for mistakes. Try self-compassion when you disappoint yourself. Learn skills to help regulate your emotions if necessary. take care of your marriage/partnership. Your baby loves you unconditionally. Do not forget that.⁠
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Comic from "Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts" @familiustalk @brooklyn_rabbit⁠
Words & 📷: @postpartumstress⁠
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Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. ❤️ It is Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. ❤️ It is the day Americans honor Dr. King's legacy and his key role in helping our nation get closer to its goal of equality for all. There are several important lessons from MLK that we can all learn from and teach our children. If you want to spread his legacy and honor this day, share these 12 lessons with your kids and let's implement them into our own lives. 💜 {Click 🔗 in bio to read more!}⁠
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📷: @helenetheillustrator⁠
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Crawling is correct. 🤣⁠ (quote via @mytherapi Crawling is correct. 🤣⁠
(quote via @mytherapistsays)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
When you wish you could buy half sizes. 😑🤣⁠
📷: @momhashtags⁠
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TRUTH!⁠ 😂⁠ (quote via @nottheworstmom via T TRUTH!⁠ 😂⁠
(quote via @nottheworstmom via Twitter)⁠
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We get that diapers and childcare aren't cheap and We get that diapers and childcare aren't cheap and bills really add up, but it doesn't cost much to schedule time as a family together. Get out of the house together and make memories. Whether you drive to the lake or your nearest beach or a cool park close by, spend time together. Invest in your memories. Invest in your relationships. Those will be the things that stay with you forever and make you the happiest and "richest" in the long run. ❤️⁠
📷: @momsgotink⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
How would you finish this sentence? . . .⁠ You k How would you finish this sentence? . . .⁠
You know you have a newborn when _______.⁠
📷: @healthiest_baby⁠
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#parenting #parenthood #parentlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
You’ve spent the past 9 months preparing for the You’ve spent the past 9 months preparing for the arrival of your beautiful baby. 🤰 Labor and delivery has come and gone. Now its time for your 6-week postpartum check up. 🏥  So much of life after delivery is focused on your new bundle of joy that you can sometimes forget to care for yourself. This is exactly why I believe the postpartum appointment is so important to you as a new momma – because it’s all about you! 💗⁠
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Sure, your provider loves to fawn over your sweet baby, but this appointment is about mom. How are YOU doing? Self-care is so important to your health and recovery after having a baby, so let this appointment focus on your well-being. 😊⁠
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Here are 10 helpful questions to ask when you see your provider at your 6-week postpartum check up. 📝 Your provider will likely cover most or all of these topics on her or his own, but use this as a guide to remind you to ask anything she or he doesn’t cover! {Click 🔗 in bio to read more!}⁠
📷: @tailsandwings⁠
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#postpartum #postpartumlife #newmom #postpartumcheckup #postnatal #postpartumhealth #postpartumwellness #obgyn #4mind4body #momcare #motherhoodjourney #motherhoodlife #postpartumdoula #postpartumrecovery #mommychick #babychick
YES 👏 IT 👏 DOES👏⁠ Go and find your troo YES 👏 IT 👏 DOES👏⁠
Go and find your troop, your tribe, squad, village. Whatever you want to call it. Find people to surround yourself with who will support YOU, love YOU, encourage YOU as a woman and as a parent. Parenthood is tough. Especially when you feel alone. So find your village and love them hard. And from one mother to another, load up on wipes. Because motherhood can get quite messy too!⁠ 😉⁠
📷: @hallmarkbaby⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
An amazing story from a determined mom to breastfe An amazing story from a determined mom to breastfeed her #triplets. 💗 With hard work, determination, help and support, anything is possible.
Words & 📷: @triplets_and_toddler
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“I breastfed my first child so I knew I wanted to #breastfeed again. People were skeptical about me #breastfeeding triplets, and this drove my determination! 💪 My boys were born at 29+3 and therefore it was so important for them to have #breastmilk! 🤱
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After having an emergency C-section, I knew there was no time to rest, so I started hand expressing within the first hour. I set an alarm to ensure that I expressed every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours overnight. ⏰
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Being separated from my boys was hard so having pictures/video links helped whilst I expressed. Seeing my teeny, vulnerable babies in their little incubators drove my determination to provide them with my milk! I also rotated muslin squares between us so that I could smell them and vice versa. This also helped me whilst I expressed during the night away from my boys. Their smell on the swaddles kept me focused! 💙
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Twice during our #NICU journey my boys were split between hospitals over an hour apart! This was the hardest time and meant I was separated from 2 of my boys for a couple of days. During this time I kept up with expressing and ensured that all three of them had enough milk to take with them until we were all reunited.
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Looking back I feel it is my sheer determination that has really enabled me to successfully breastfeed my triplet boys! Not once have they needed donor or formula milk. It required a massive commitment both physically and emotionally but I am so proud of my achievement! My boys are now 11 months and are still breastfeeding." ❤️
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*This story is not to bring any mothers down that choose to formula feed. (I, personally, had to give my son formula at 7 months old!) We share this mother's story to inspire mothers and celebrate our victories! ✨
If you are having breastfeeding struggles and want to succeed, contact a good local IBCLC and receive support. Find new mom friends who are also breastfeeding who can encourage you. And if you choose to formula feed, we honor you too. 💕 #mommychick
WTF 😑⁠ (via @thenatewolf via Twitter)⁠ .⁠ WTF 😑⁠
(via @thenatewolf via Twitter)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
Repeat after me . . . 💗⁠ (quote via @friscoar Repeat after me . . . 💗⁠
(quote via @friscoareamoms)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #positiveaffirmations #motherhoodaffirmations
🧠 4 Ways to Promote Your Child's Mental Health 🧠 4 Ways to Promote Your Child's Mental Health 🧠⁠
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Your child’s mental health is fairly complicated. It's also critical to their overall health and wellness. We often think of mental health as it pertains to adults, but just like growth and physical development, research shows that mental health is something that should be considered starting at birth. ❤️⁠
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When children are very young, their brains are extremely sensitive to environmental stress. Toxic stress, defined as high levels of prolonged stress, can have life-long effects on children. Limiting stress for young children is critical for their early mental health. One of the most fundamental ways we can help eliminate toxic stress is by building a strong relationship foundation from the very beginning of their lives. Your relationship with your baby is an integral part of their sense of self-esteem, independence, and confidence; three key factors in mental health.⁠
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Building that relationship with your child can be broken down into four key concepts . . . {Click 🔗 in bio to find out what they are!}⁠
📷: @vlentine⁠
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#parenting #parenthood #parentlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
Just in case you call her a boy, here's a MASSIVE Just in case you call her a boy, here's a MASSIVE bow that shows she's a girl . . . yet still somehow get's called a boy. 🤷⁠
📷: unknown⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
💤 Good Bedtime Routines for Babies of Every Age 💤 Good Bedtime Routines for Babies of Every Age 💤⁠
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If you’ve ever typed into Google, “Why won’t my baby sleep?” you’re not alone. In fact, you’re among thousands of other parents/caregivers who are likely as tired as you are. Chances are, if you have gone down the Google rabbit hole at 2:00 a.m. (or just asked your pediatrician for sleep advice), then you’ve most likely been introduced to the concept of a bedtime routine.⁠
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A bedtime routine can be an incredibly helpful tool in establishing healthy sleep habits and good sleep hygiene. Infants and young children thrive on routine; in fact, they are comforted by predictability (spoiler alert: most adults are this way, too!). Plus, a young mind is exposed to so much new information every day that it’s reassuring for a child to know that they can depend on certain events to have a predictable structure.⁠
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Bedtime routines are also a cue to their brains and bodies that sleep is coming. With a predictable bedtime routine, your little one will start to recognize the order of the routine and begin to anticipate what comes next. With enough repetition, this process happens automatically in a very Pavlovian way. A calm and successive routine will also make the onset of sleep come more easily. Can you imagine if you walked out of your workout and immediately someone told you that you had to lay down and fall asleep? This would be nearly impossible, and the same is true for our little ones. By allowing them some time to unwind, you are making the falling asleep process that much easier. Here are some tips on what to do for your little one's bedtime. ❤️⁠ {Click 🔗 in bio to read more!}⁠
📷: @hannahxruth⁠
Article by: @ohbabyconsulting⁠
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#babysleep #goodnight #bedtime #bedtimeroutine #nightnight #sweetdreams #sleepconsultant #babysleeptips #sleepcoach #parenting #sleeptips #motherhood #babylove #sleeptraining #parentingtips #sleeping #toddlersleep #sleephelp #parentinghelp #sleepcoaching #parenthood #sleepdeprived #sleeptraininghelp #babysleepconsultant #babychick #mommychick #momlife
THIS. The struggle is real.⁠ ⁠🥴 📷: @brit THIS. The struggle is real.⁠ ⁠🥴
📷: @britt.kav⁠
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#parenting #parenthood #parentlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #momhumor
It's the beeeeeessssttttt . . . 😬😑 (quote vi It's the beeeeeessssttttt . . . 😬😑
(quote via @smalltowntallgirl)⁠
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#motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #parenthood #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #momhumor #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣ #mommychick
🤗 7 Tips for Raising Secure and Happy Kids 🤗 🤗 7 Tips for Raising Secure and Happy Kids 🤗⁠
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Parenting is hard. And ever so important. But sometimes it feels like we need to have a special degree in “Managing Toddler Mood Swings” to navigate some of the unexpected scenarios that come with raising secure and happy children.⁠
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Like how do we handle a child that likes to scream instead of talk?⁠
“Please, child, just lower your voice while we’re in Target.”⁠
Or what are we supposed to do when a child prefers to strip down every time we get them dressed or only eat foods that are the color blue?! (In case you’re wondering, there aren’t many blue foods.)⁠
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It can feel tricky and tiring to try and do it all right and then sometimes still feel like you’re at a loss. But the truth is, there’s never any way to make everything perfect. But there are things we can do that set our children up to feel secure and happy. And here are seven of my favorite tips. {Click 🔗 in bio to read more!}⁠
📷: @lauren.stewart_dc⁠
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#parenting #parenthood #parentlife #motherhoodthroughinstagram #momlife #motherhood #momstruggles #momprobs #mumlife #mommylife #motherhoodunplugged #realmoms #momstatus #thatmomlife #realmomlife #momsofinstagram #mommychick #motherhoodrising #ig_motherhood #uniteinmotherhood⁣ #babychick⁣
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