When we become mothers, everything changes. You expect changes, like experiencing love on a whole new level or a house filled with baby gear. But then there are changes you could have never predicted, like how your once squeamish stomach would be able to handle the most grotesque diapers without so much as a dry heave. And you’re not alone. Motherhood has forced us to grow thicker skin, not sweat the small stuff, and accept that perfection is but an illusion.
But do you want to know a little secret? You know the super gorgeous mama at preschool drop-off who is never late, makes bento box lunches that would make a top chef jealous, and always has on the cutest outfit topped off by perfectly blown-out hair? Yes, even that perfect mom has done some of the weird, silly, and sometimes gross things we all must do to make it through motherhood without losing our marbles.
In a world of carefully captioned pictures, we’re shining a light on 10 mom truths: the stuff we all did, do, or will soon be doing in the trenches of momming that we’d never admit to — but totally laugh about! The good, the bad, and the ugly! I had so much fun with my mom friends compiling this list, chatting about our embarrassing moments and secret mom truths. Grab a glass of wine, and laugh along with us because it’s truth time!
You know you’re a mom when…
1. You have been so scared to cut your baby’s fingernails with clippers that you’ve trimmed their nails by nibbling them off! Got to tame those razor blades somehow!
2. You’ve knowingly left the house in clothes with unidentifiable stains and not given a damn! Spit up or toothpaste? Who can really tell anymore?
3. You’ve let your toddler survive a whole day on peanut butter crackers when they refuse to eat anything else because you’re just too exhausted to fight. They’ll eat better tomorrow, right?
4. You’ve had to toss out your child’s poop-filled undies in a public bathroom because taking them home for washing was just too gross. We salute any who have tried!
5. You’ve forgotten to brush their teeth in the morning rush, and as soon as you load up the car, you remember but keep on moving because those baby teeth will fall out anyway, right? Thank goodness for bedtime brushing!
6. You’ve drawn all the blinds, turned the lights down, and staged a “bedtime fake out” in an attempt to convince the kids it’s late and time for bed! Hello extra Netflix and wine!
7. You’ve let your little boy pee outside at the park. More than once. Because when you gotta go, you gotta go!
8. You’ve brought your kid a “special drive-thru lunch” and told them it was because you wanted to treat them when in reality, it’s because you forgot to pack their lunch. Whoops… French fries, anyone?
9. You’ve tasted your baby’s favorite puréed beet, spinach, or squash food pouch out of pure curiosity — seriously gagged — but let your baby eat it anyway because, for some odd reason, they love it! So. Much. Yuck.
10. Your boobs have been so engorged on date night that you’ve “milked yourself” in the bathroom just to release the pressure! Hurts so good.
Because, let’s face it, laughing our way through motherhood, a glass of wine in hand, is the absolute best! Cheers!