If I could just get five minutes to myself. That was the thought running through my head after a long night of broken sleep and an early morning with my 3-year-old daughter.
Being a stay-at-home parent can feel nonstop, and finding time to recharge is not always easy. But self-care does not have to mean long breaks or time away. Sometimes, it looks like small moments that help you reset and show up as your best self.
Key Takeaways
- Self-care does not have to be time-consuming
- Small breaks can help you recharge
- Everyday activities can double as self-care
- Including your child in tasks can free up time later
- Taking care of yourself helps you show up as a better parent
Find a Break When You Can
Self-care does not always come in big, planned moments. Sometimes, it shows up in small, unexpected breaks.
This unexpected but perfectly timed threat was exactly what I needed. So, as any exhausted parent would do, I called her bluff. “We’re not going to watch TV right now, but I guess Daddy will go in timeout,” I told her, sounding as remorseful as possible.
I wanted to make it convincing so I would not miss my chance, and it worked like a charm! I sat on the stairs outside the playroom for five minutes, “thinking about what I had done.” Really, I just spent the time looking at my phone while Adley continued playing with her toys. It was the recharge I needed, and I came back in a better headspace.
Related: Quick Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms
A Parenting Break is Self-Care
Taking a break may feel like a luxury, but it is often necessary to recharge and stay present as a parent.
This may seem like a toddler hack or a shortcut, but in reality, it’s self-care. As a stay-at-home dad, I’m constantly prioritizing the well-being of Adley and my wife, Katie, because, in my mind, that’s part of the job. But that doesn’t mean I’m not looking for little moments to myself, especially when I need them after a long night.
According to a recent survey from Philips Avent, 88% of parents with children three and under agree they are better parents when they can focus on self-care. In this survey, self-care included:1
- Getting more sleep
- Exercising
- Eating healthy
While acknowledging what’s required, far fewer parents felt they made enough time for these things, and 70% said they felt pressure to put their child’s needs above their own.
I don’t think these survey results will surprise many parents. However, it puts into perspective the push-pull parents often feel, especially those who are full-time caregivers. How do you prioritize self-care while still being there to take care of your child? If you’re like me, you’ve read plenty of tips, like putting the kids to bed early or finding a babysitter so you can get some alone time.
Everyday Activities Can Help You Recharge
You do not always need extra time to take care of yourself. Many everyday activities can double as moments to recharge. While these ideas are useful, I have found everyday activities that can help you recharge while still being a present parent.
Exercise
Let’s start with exercise. For most of the three-plus years I’ve been a father, working out has been Dad’s time. I wait for my wife to finish work, hand Adley over, and go on a run or ride our stationary bike. But now, Adley is old enough to enjoy helping me.
Last month, I pulled up a strength training workout on our TV. I cleared space in our living room, found two sealed Play-Doh containers, and gave them to Adley to use as weights. To my surprise, she loved it!
Between the instructor on the TV and watching me, she was able to follow along and had fun. Best of all, I could exercise and get a mental break from entertaining her for 30 minutes while including her in the process. I will not pretend I prefer to exercise with my 3-year-old. That would not be true. But absent other options, this worked really well to settle my mind and relieve a little stress.
Related: 10 Ways to Include Your Kids in Your Workout Routine
Chores and Meal Prep
I also started including Adley in some of my daily chores, like cooking and laundry. When I’m preparing meals for the week, she helps me measure the ingredients and mix them together.
When I’m gathering the laundry, it’s her job to take her dirty clothes out of the laundry hamper and put them in the washing machine. These may not seem like examples of self-care on the surface. But they are chores I used to do when Adley was asleep or with Mom.
Including her in the process leaves more time to focus on an activity I want to do when my wife is finished with work or when Adley is asleep. It helps me make better use of the little self-care time I have. Ultimately, making time for self-care makes us better, more forgiving parents.
Related: 3 Easy Ways to Teach Your Kids to Be Helpers
A 2021 study by the Parent Research Center in Australia found a link between self-care and self-criticism. Parents who made time to take care of themselves reported lower levels of self-criticism, leading to better mental health.2 It’s not a leap to say parents who focus on self-care could probably function as the best versions of themselves as well.
To use a sports metaphor, you don’t always have to hit a home run to take care of yourself. Sure, getting a babysitter for an evening out is a fantastic way to recharge. But even a few quiet minutes, like sitting in timeout, can make a difference.
