I knew my period wasn’t due until Saturday, but the wait felt impossible. My husband and I had been actively tracking my cycles in hopes of conceiving our second child. With his birthday coming up, I had my heart set on surprising him with good news. I daydreamed of cute gift boxes filled to the brim with confetti and topped with a big, fat, positive test. I had boxes of pregnancy tests stashed under the sink, with different brands promising results several days before a missed period. The second I entered that window, I was tearing open test after test. I tore open the first batch, my bladder full and my heart even fuller.

I was convinced we had conceived that month. I triple-checked my tracking app and calendar, skimmed the packet of instructions, and went. The test was quickly negative. I blamed the brand and ripped open another. Negative. I told myself I must be too early, and one more day would show the true result. But for the next three days, I found myself, morning after morning (and afternoon and night), staring at one lonely line.

Every test gave me the same result: not pregnant. Surely, if I were expecting, I would have had a positive test by now. The box said five days before your projected start date, and I only had two days left. My sadness started to lead my mind down a dark path. By the end of the night, I had convinced myself that my childbearing journey was over. Tears clouded my vision as I looked at the gift box I had hoped would hold a positive test.

Related: Is It Possible To Get a False Pregnancy Test?

Why Testing Too Early Can Cause a False Negative

I never expected early testing to affect me as deeply as it did. Each negative result felt final, even though I was testing before my period was due and the answer was not yet reliable.

Home pregnancy tests detect human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), a hormone produced after implantation by the developing placenta. hCG rises quickly during early pregnancy, but the timing and amount vary from person to person. Different pregnancy tests require different amounts of hCG before they show a positive result.¹

Some home tests can detect pregnancy before a missed period, but testing that early increases the chance of a false-negative result. A negative result may occur because there is not yet enough hCG in the urine, the urine is too diluted, or ovulation and implantation happened later than expected.¹

Even on the first day of a missed period, some pregnant people may not receive a positive result. If your test is negative but your period does not arrive, repeat the test after several days, use first-morning urine, and follow the instructions for that specific test.¹

Related: When is the Best Time to Take a Pregnancy Test?

When Negative Tests Made Me Fear Infertility

Those negative tests did more than disappoint me. They made my mind jump immediately to infertility, even though I had no evidence that I was facing a fertility problem. Because so many women now share their struggles openly, that fear felt especially close and easy to imagine.

A few negative tests before a missed period cannot tell you whether you have a fertility problem. Infertility is generally defined as not becoming pregnant after a year of regular, unprotected sex, although a healthcare provider may recommend an evaluation sooner based on age, medical history, or other concerns.²

When I saw my negative results when I was hoping for a positive, I went through many feelings, including:

• Anger: “I was doing everything right. Why wasn’t it working?”
• Terror: “What if I am experiencing infertility?”
• Sadness: “I really had my heart set on this.”
• Disappointment: “What about all of the plans I started to make?”
• Exhaustion: “Will my mind ever shut off and let me sleep?”

But I was, in fact, pregnant. Those negative results had been false negatives, most likely because I tested before there was enough hCG in my urine for those tests to detect.¹

Although my period did not come as expected, staring at all of the previous tests in the trash had my mind convinced it would. I had treated those early negative results as final, even though I knew I had tested before my period was due. Every negative result quieted my hope, and I dismissed anything else I was feeling because the test in my hand said, “No.”

A couple of mornings later, the day after a big birthday party for my husband, I remembered that I had one more test in my nightstand. My period hadn’t arrived, but my bruised heart was scared to see another disappointing result. But there they were, two bright pink lines, and a positive test. We were having another baby.

Related: 10 Early Signs of Pregnancy and When They Start

Hindsight Is 20/20

Looking back after my baby girl was born the following spring, I realized how much heartache I might have spared myself by waiting until my period was due. I had treated every early negative test as a final answer when it was really only an answer for that particular day.

When you want a baby so badly, waiting can feel impossible. But if you choose to test early and get a negative result, try to remember that it may simply be too soon. Follow the instructions for your specific test, give it a few more days if your period hasn’t arrived, and test again.¹ In my case, waiting would not have changed the outcome, but it could have made those days much gentler on my heart.