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How to Talk to Your Older Children About Breastfeeding

Beautiful little girl smiles while sitting with mother and newborn baby brother.

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Breastfeeding is a normal part of life for many babies and toddlers. However, if your older child didn’t experience breastfeeding or isn’t usually around it, they may have some questions when they see a younger child nursing in a public place. Or even when they see their own mother breastfeeding their new sibling for the first time. It can be a brand new sight, even for kids who experienced breastfeeding and have either forgotten details or simply don’t usually see the situation from an outside perspective. So talking about breastfeeding may seem like an awkward conversation for them. But they are certainly going to be curious. Your relationship with breastfeeding might be different,… Read More

Breastfeeding is a normal part of life for many babies and toddlers. However, if your older child didn’t experience breastfeeding or isn’t usually around it, they may have some questions when they see a younger child nursing in a public place. Or even when they see their own mother breastfeeding their new sibling for the first time. It can be a brand new sight, even for kids who experienced breastfeeding and have either forgotten details or simply don’t usually see the situation from an outside perspective. So talking about breastfeeding may seem like an awkward conversation for them. But they are certainly going to be curious.

Your relationship with breastfeeding might be different, based on your family situation. If you’re a single dad with kids who are more accustomed to a bottle, your conversation might look different from a mom breastfeeding the youngest baby of the family. Regardless of the logistics, the principles of the discussion around breastfeeding tend to ring true, no matter the audience.

Teens and preteens will probably be able to engage with more in-depth conversations about the social implications and health benefits around breastfeeding. Younger kids, however, will probably work best with the basics. But it’s never too early or too late to start talking about breastfeeding with your older kids. You can tailor the conversation to your kids and your family to provide an understanding and talk about this beautiful process together.

It’s Perfectly Natural

This is one of the most important talking points about breastfeeding, especially in our modern world. Breastfeeding is simply part of a normal, healthy life for many families who choose to pursue it. You can explain to your child that mammals have mammary glands in their breasts that produce milk specifically designed to feed babies. Since humans are mammals, that includes mothers and babies just like your own family.

You can even explain further that breastfeeding has been a part of life for thousands of years. It’s the way that the human body was made to feed babies. Nursing is the most normal, natural process out there for babies to get their nutrients, and starting the conversation there is crucial.

Encouraging a healthy view of natural body processes is a part of encouraging overall health in your household. This conversation is just as crucial as addressing sexual health, encouraging physical activity, and educating about mental health.

If your kids are on the younger end — perhaps not breastfeeding themselves but young enough to be receptive to norms and ideas you set for the household — this conversation can start simply by treating breastfeeding like the natural, normal process it is. No big shows of it, no hiding away or covering up so long as that’s comfortable for you. Just feeding your baby like you normally would.

Babies Need Food

Just like everybody else, babies get hungry. And when babies get hungry, as you know, they must be fed. This can absolutely be a part of the conversation in its simplest forms. You can explain that this is how many babies get their food and that when babies get hungry, they need to eat just like anyone else. This can apply to seeing a breastfeeding mother in public or in response to a curious inquiry about breastfeeding at home.

Breasts Are Not Primarily Sexual

If your kids are on the older end — teens and preteens in particular — they may very well be influenced by the world around them. Often, this fact can mean that they learn new things from their surroundings and introduce you to new ideas. However, this can also mean that they have the opportunity to absorb toxic ideologies from others. From school dress codes policing young girls’ bodies to peers who were raised to objectify women, your kids may have somewhere picked up the idea that there is something inappropriate or indecent about breasts.

Though our culture may denote otherwise, breasts’ primary purpose is to feed babies. The sexualization of the breast was well underway by the 19th century but was accelerated post-World War II with the rise of the pinup girl poster, Playboy magazine, and the popularity of such Hollywood icons as Marilyn Monroe. The result was as breasts became more sexualized, they became less functional.

Simply explain to your kids that there is nothing immodest about using breasts for their intended purpose. Ask them about their opinions. Then have an open conversation about breastfeeding in the context of the world and your household.

Everyone Is Different

Some families prefer to breastfeed into the toddler years, whereas some choose to contain it to infancy. Some families don’t breastfeed at all. There are single dads who bottle feed and traditional nuclear families who go back and forth between nursing and formula. Some working moms pump their breast milk while some stay home and nurse. Every mother, child, and family is different, and it’s important to center that in your conversations with your older kids.

Not every family looks like your family, and discussing the variations can help to normalize and create a broader understanding around breastfeeding for your child. This conversation isn’t just about your family situation. It’s also about preparing your child for an adulthood where they can be well adjusted, open, and understanding.

No matter the age of your children or what your family looks like, you can open up a dialogue around nursing to educate and create understanding. Talking about breastfeeding with your older children will help them in so many ways. When your kids understand that breastfeeding is a natural, healthy process, they’ll go through life with a better perspective and openness for others. And perhaps a deeper comfort within their own family.