When you bring your baby home, you feel everything at once. Excited, overwhelmed, tired, and deeply in love. And even with all the advice you receive from friends and family, it is easy to wish someone had handed you a simple guide for those first weeks at home.
As a first-time mom, I look back on those early days with misty eyes and a smile. They go by so fast, and there is so much I have learned along the way. Here is the advice I wish every new parent could hear.
Must-Know Tips and Advice for New Parents
These simple reflections can help you feel more supported, confident, and grounded as you adjust to life with your new baby.
1. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
You’ve heard the old African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child.” This still holds today! You might feel guilty for asking for help, but believe me, people want to help. It’s in our human nature to help and care for others. You will likely hear from family members and friends who want to offer their support. Let them! It’s not possible to do everything alone.
Whether it’s your mother-in-law doing the dishes, your brother dropping off dinner, or your friend helping with the laundry, don’t be afraid to let your village help you.
2. Take Time for Yourself
Taking care of yourself is essential to being a good mom and parent. You will have many rewarding and joyful moments with your newborn, but it’s an all-consuming job that can leave you feeling burned out and stressed. It’s essential to continue doing things you loved before having a baby to maintain a sense of balance and fulfillment. This could involve reading a book, going out to dinner with friends, working out at the gym, or simply catching up on your favorite TV shows.
Related: How To Take Care of Yourself After Birth
3. Prioritize Sleep When You Can
One of the first pieces of advice I heard from a family member was, “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” I rolled my eyes because once my baby boy fell asleep, all I could see were the piles of laundry, the dirty dishes, and the clutter piling up. I thought there was no way I could sleep when there was so much to get done around the house.
My mom told me, “The laundry and the dishes can wait. You must sleep to feel rested and ready to care for your son.” Once I heard that, I realized she was right. I need to sneak in as much sleep as possible to be the best mom I can be. This is when your village will come in handy! Ask a family member or friend to care for the baby while you get some well-deserved rest. Remember, don’t be afraid to ask for help! People want to help you just as much as they want to hold that baby.
4. Trust Your Instincts
Initially, you will want to do everything perfectly. You may question yourself constantly, blocking you from hearing your own thoughts. So much of parenthood is instinctual. You are that baby’s parent, no one else! Every baby is different, and your way of caring for your baby is not wrong. Do what works best for you and your family.
Related: Why New Moms Should Trust Their Instincts
5. Take Pictures and Make Memories
It may not seem like it now, but your tiny, snuggly baby will one day leave your arms and walk, run, and climb all over the house. One thing I wish I had done was to take more pictures and videos of myself holding my baby. Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of pictures and videos of him. But I don’t have as many WITH him.
Much of this was related to my self-esteem during that period. I didn’t feel I looked my best, so I refused to be in many pictures. Now I realize the messy bun and the dark under-eye circles perfectly encapsulated those first weeks and months as a new parent. Don’t be afraid to be in the picture. You will love looking back at them one day. I promise!
6. Expect Stress
The first few weeks and months of being a new parent will be stressful. You know this, and knowledge is power! Remember that everything is a phase, although some sleepless nights seem endless. It feels like forever when you’re in it, but it will pass. Some days will be more challenging than others, but remember that every day gets easier as you get into a routine. You are becoming a better parent every day. Be patient with yourself and ask for help when you need it.
7. Don’t Compare
If you compare your baby to other babies, you miss out on what makes your baby special. You might see on social media that your childhood friend’s baby is sleeping through the night or your cousin’s baby is sitting up unassisted. This could make you feel worried about your baby.
Recognizing that every baby has unique needs, personalities, and strengths is important. Try to focus on all the amazing and wonderful things your baby is doing, rather than comparing them to others. Don’t hesitate to contact your pediatrician with any questions or concerns. You know your baby best!
8. Find a Tribe
Parenthood can feel isolating at times. You’re so wrapped up in this incredible life change that you feel like you’re the only person going through this situation. The truth is that everyone needs a support system. As a new parent, it’s essential to find others who understand what you’re going through and can offer love, support, and laughter during challenging moments.
Try joining a local Facebook group that can connect you with other parents. Social apps such as Peanut and Meerkat are also available for finding new parent friends. Having a group of parent friends to share stories with and ask questions will let you know you are not alone in your struggles.
9. Remember, You’re Amazing!
Perhaps the most critical piece of advice for new parents is to be kind to yourself. Take a deep breath and know that you’re doing a great job. Your baby won’t remember if you make a mistake. Keep going and give yourself plenty of grace as you learn a new role in life. There is no better parent for that baby than you!
These are the pieces of advice that helped me most in new parenthood, and I hope they bring you comfort too. There is no perfect way to do this, and your baby does not need a perfect parent. They need you — present, loving, and trying your best.
If you are having a hard day, reach out for support. You are doing an incredible job, and your baby is so lucky to have you.
