So, you just had a baby. All the preparation, unsolicited advice, imagining what this moment would look and feel like, and now it’s finally here. Leaving the hospital with your newborn can bring a mix of joy, excitement, anxiety, and fear. Driving home without a team of nurses nearby to answer every question can feel daunting, even if you felt confident just hours before.
Suddenly, it’s just you, your partner, and this tiny human you are responsible for keeping safe, fed, and comfortable. Even with all the reading and planning, nothing fully prepares you for your baby’s first night at home. Every experience will look a little different, but there is comfort in knowing that these early moments are shared by parents everywhere. You may feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and unsure at times, and that is completely normal.
Expect an adrenaline high and extreme fatigue on your baby’s first night home
Everyone’s birth experience is different. Perhaps you went into labor naturally, and the process progressed quickly. You may have met your baby a few hours after walking into the maternity ward. Or maybe you were induced and camped in your hospital room for several unending days. Whichever way you brought your baby into the world, you can bet you will be on an endorphin high once they arrive.
When you walk into your home for the first time with your new baby, you have to make the best decision for yourself and your family. For new moms who are sore and need to recover and care for their new baby, that could mean welcoming your baby home to a full house of support from family ready to meet the little one and marvel at those tiny toes. Or it could mean coming home to an empty, quiet space and (actually) sleeping when the baby sleeps.
It’s a good idea to envision your ideal homecoming and be flexible if that plan changes once your baby arrives and your feelings shift.
Expect to need help
Whether you’re relying primarily on family, friends, or your partner in those first few days home from the hospital, asking for help is very important.
When I got home from the hospital, I needed help with tasks such as stepping in and out of the shower, preparing food, changing my clothes, and getting up and down the stairs.
Are you pumping or using formula to feed your baby? Great news, your partner can tackle some daytime and middle-of-the-night feedings. Are you exclusively breastfeeding? Maybe your partner handles all the diaper duty while you focus on the feeds.
Remember that everyone wants to see you happy, healthy, and thriving in this new role. Don’t feel ashamed to ask for help. You need to be the best version of yourself to care for your baby, which likely means accepting the kindness and assistance of those around you.
Helpful resources:
- Best Ways Dads Can Help a New Mom
- The Best 15 Things to Do for a New Mom
- 13 Ways Dads Can Help With Breastfeeding
Crying: Expect tears from you and your baby
Tears. Happy tears, sad tears, ugly, blotchy, big tears. This applies to you and your baby! Your emotions are going to be all over the place. I can’t emphasize this enough.
On one of our first nights home, I looked at my son’s tiny hand wrapped around my thumb, and the tears started to flow.
When my husband asked why I was crying, I explained that one day his finger would have a wedding band on it, and he would move out to start his own family. Again, he was probably five days old at the time. I know how absurd this sounds, but don’t underestimate the power of postpartum hormones. It’s your first night at home with your new baby, and it’s normal to feel many different emotions.
Some babies will cry a lot, too, and others don’t cry much at all. Every baby is different, but it is normal for infants to cry for a total of two to three hours per day during the first six days.1 They usually will stop when you meet their needs.
If you feel like your baby is crying more often than usual, check to see if they have a dirty or wet diaper, are hungry, are cold or overheated, are in pain (and need burping), or are overstimulated. Holding your baby, doing skin-to-skin, or offering the breast or bottle will often calm your little one. If your baby continues to cry for no apparent reason after meeting their needs, your baby may have colic. Consult with your pediatrician if you have concerns.
Sleep: Expect your baby to sleep a lot
It is often difficult for new parents to know how long and how often a newborn will sleep. Remember, every baby is different. It’s not recommended to have your baby on a set schedule initially, as many newborns can be confused about their days and nights.
Medical research reveals that the average newborn sleeps for much of the day and night, waking only for feedings every couple of hours.2 Generally, newborns sleep a total of about eight to nine hours in the daytime and a total of about eight hours at night. That’s a lot of sleep!
Try not to be startled or nervous if your baby sleeps more than you anticipated, but also be prepared for interrupted sleep. Also, if your baby is sleeping longer than three hours your first night at home, it is recommended to wake them for another feeding.3
Related: Newborn Sleep Patterns: What You Should Know
Expect swaddle amnesia on night one
The nurses at the hospital may look like ordinary people dressed in scrubs and comfy, practical sneakers. But don’t let appearances fool you.
They are highly-skilled baby-swaddling ninjas that can tuck and fold your newborn into a baby burrito right before your eyes. Try as you might to master their techniques, you may completely forget how to swaddle your little bundle of joy when they wake up at 2:30 in the morning on your first night home.
Is the swaddle too tight? Too loose? Did you tuck in all the right places? You will likely forget the best swaddle methods, and that’s okay. Fortunately, there are some excellent swaddles available on the market. Swaddling is often ideal because it provides your baby warmth and comfort while preventing them from wriggling free. It’s believed that newborns sleep so well in a swaddle because it reminds them of the snugness of the womb.
Along with a small basket of newborn diapers, rash cream, wipes, and a spare outfit handy within arm’s reach, I recommend having an extra swaddle on hand as a backup. Diapers can leak, and accidents happen! This brings us to the next expectation of the baby’s first night home.
Related: How to Swaddle a Baby
Feeding: Expect to feed your baby often
At first, babies need to eat about every two to three hours to help them get enough nutrition and to grow, but because of their tiny stomach size, they won’t eat much.4 To put things into perspective, their stomach is no bigger than the size of a toy marble on night one!5
Babies often show signs of hunger before they cry. Common hunger cues include:
- Licking lips
- Sticking tongue out
- Rooting (moving the jaw and mouth or head in search of breast)
- Putting their hand to their mouth repeatedly
- Opening their mouth
- Fussiness
- Sucking on everything around
Diapering: Expect to go through a lot of dirty diapers
If you feel like an amateur in diapering, you’re not alone! But believe me, you and your partner will be absolute pros in a week. Practice makes perfect, and with your new babe, you’ll get plenty of practice changing diapers.
Babies younger than a month old may have three to four bowel movements daily and typically wet at least six or more diapers a day.6
Over the first few days of life, newborns will continue to pass meconium, which is black and tarry-looking. After a few days, the stool should no longer be black in color. The color should gradually change from black to dark green and then yellow if you are breastfeeding. If you are formula feeding, it is normal for a baby’s poop to remain green.
If you are ever concerned with the frequency or color of bowel movements, it’s always wise to contact your pediatrician. Think of your pediatrician team as an extension of the fantastic hospital staff who helped you when you first met your baby. You will come to know the doctors and nurses well over the next few years, and through all of the sniffles, skinned knees, and fevers, they will never judge you for asking questions as you learn how to best care for your little one.
Related: Different Types of Baby Poop and What They Mean
Expect to feel flustered on baby’s first night home, but know you are doing a great job
Hey, you and your partner just did one of the most incredible things humanly possible. You created a life, and that little love is now earthside.
When you feel overwhelmed on night one, give yourself some grace.
As clichéd as the saying “Does this thing come with an instruction manual?” sounds, it would be nice if they did. Like all new stages in life, a learning curve comes with having a newborn baby, but every experience, hiccup, and misstep will provide you with valuable knowledge. After all, your hormones are raging, you are recovering from a significant physical event, and you are likely very swollen and exhausted.
Your baby’s first night at home can feel overwhelming, but you are doing an incredible job. There is no instruction manual for parenting, and every new stage comes with a learning curve. Give yourself grace as you recover, adjust, and learn alongside your baby. With tenderness, patience, and love, you and your family will find your rhythm, one night at a time.
