What is it really like to be a mom of 10 kids? I get asked this all the time. The best way I can describe it is like hosting a birthday party every single day, except the guests never leave. The planning, the food, the chaos, and the fun are all part of our everyday life.
Before we go any further, let me answer a few of the questions I get most often. Yes, they are all ours. No, we don’t have twins. And no, our older kids aren’t raising the younger ones. Our hands are full, but so are our hearts.
Raising a large family brings unique challenges, from managing time and logistics to creating meaningful connections with each child.
Being a Mom of Ten: What It’s Really Like
Living with a family this size comes with its own set of challenges and rewards, and both show up in our daily routines.
The Challenges of a Large Family
Just like every family, we have our challenges. Our kids range from toddlers to teens, so we have every age and stage of childhood happening simultaneously. We sometimes struggle to meet everyone’s emotional needs, but we do our best. Burnout is real. Meeting all the kids’ needs doesn’t make much time for me, but I have learned to set some boundaries and ensure that I take care of my physical and mental health.
There are three things that we worry about most. Logistics, time, and money are the daily puzzles we must solve. I’ll try to address how we solve these in this article, but we’re self-aware enough to know that our methods won’t work for everyone. This isn’t meant to be an instruction manual, just a glimpse into what life looks like for our family.
Logistics Take Organization
As you can imagine, the logistics of a large family require time and organization. Coordinating our kids’ school activities and sports is a full-time job. I have a giant wall calendar, and every child has their own color marker. We have also learned to ask for help, i.e., setting up carpools with neighbors for sports practices. In our house, having routines is critical. Downtime or unexpected events, such as illness, can create chaos. The laundry alone is a colossal undertaking, and the washing machine always seems to be running. A few other stats: We run the dishwasher three times, do three loads of laundry, and go through two boxes of cereal and a gallon of milk . . . every day.
Time Feels Limited
Time is what we value most, but we run out of it every day. I’d love to read more books with the kids. I’d love to sleep longer. Every parent we know gives their kids 100% of their time and energy. We have to divide that time across more kids, and our kids get less individual attention. There are some amazing things about watching our kids figure things out on their own. We also find small moments to connect with our kids.
Related: 5 Mom Hacks to Help Each Child Feel Extra Special
Smart Money Management Matters
We’re luckier than many families. My husband has a great job, and we can afford many luxuries that others cannot. However, we do have to be very thoughtful about our monthly budget. Our grocery bill is the size of many people’s mortgages, about $3,000 a month. I feed more people each day than some restaurants do, especially during the summer when everyone is home for every meal. Having a weekly meal plan is critical, and being creative with our food budget is mandatory. When deciding on extracurricular activities for our kids, we have to be mindful of cost, and sometimes that means our kids can’t do what their friends are doing. It’s hard to say no, but it’s essential that we don’t get overextended.
The Blessings of a Large Family
Hands down, the best part of being a mom of 10 kids is seeing the relationships and bonds develop between our kids. They are not always best friends, but there is always someone to play and squabble with. The younger kids learn a lot (good and bad) from their older siblings. Holidays at our house are a lot of work, but absolutely magical.
Teamwork is Key
Learning lessons of responsibility and teamwork happens in our house daily. Our family only functions if we work as a team, which means ALL the kids, oldest to youngest, help out. Each child has responsibilities appropriate for their age. Our oldest kids help with meal preparation and occasionally watch siblings, while younger kids help care for pets, clean up toys, and do other household chores.
Related: Chores for Kids by Age: Toddlers to Teens
Resourcefulness is Our Strength
Our large family is really resourceful. We utilize hand-me-downs for clothes, shoes, and toys. My kids are not picky about clothes because they know we use what we have. We try to use everything in our refrigerator and pantry before going to the store. We can’t eat out or go to the movies regularly, but our kids appreciate it when we do.
Letting Go of the Small Things
As a mom of 10 kids, I have needed to level set my expectations. My house is going to be messy and look lived in. We won’t be invited to some parties and places because of our family size. I have learned to let many small things go without bothering me and to focus on the big picture, which I see as a positive.
The bottom line is that I love being a mom of 10 kids. It’s not always easy, and I don’t have all the answers. I make mistakes, learn as I go, and do my best each day just like any other parent.
But having the opportunity to raise 10 human beings is something I will never take for granted. Whether you have one child or a full house like ours, motherhood is both incredibly hard and incredibly rewarding in ways only a parent can understand.
