Adding a new baby to your family is a big change for everyone, especially your existing child. It is normal to fret over how your older child will adjust to their new sibling since she is used to being the center of attention. You will worry about how you will manage more than one and make sure that your firstborn still feels special. A daily routine is a great thing to have in place, but keep in mind that it may need to be tweaked here and there.
Introducing Your Older Child to a New Baby
A new baby brings big emotions for everyone, especially your firstborn. With a little preparation, you can help your older child feel connected, loved, and excited about meeting their new sibling. A new baby can be a big adjustment for the whole family, but involving your older child in the process helps them feel included and strengthens their bond from the start.
1. Tell Your Child When You’re Pregnant
It is essential to include your child in what is going on. This means telling her you will have a new baby in your family and what that will mean. Make sure to have this conversation in age-appropriate terms. Tell her about how the baby is growing, and do this early on so she can understand what it will mean.
2. Involve Your Child in Baby Prep
Your older child can do many things to help prepare for the new baby. Involve her in helping you set up the nursery. My daughter was very proud when she helped Daddy set up the crib for the new baby. She talked about it for months afterward. Even though she was only two, he had her help with some of the screws.
By having everything set up ahead of time, your child will be able to get used to the changes in the house. When I got pregnant with my second, I gave my daughter plenty of time to transition. She was still co-sleeping and breastfeeding when I got pregnant with her little brother. I didn’t immediately cut off everything, but instead did it in stages so that she could adjust. By the time the baby came, she could fall asleep in her bed, although she did sneak back in to cuddle some nights.
Related: How to Adjust from One to Two Kids
3. Enroll in a Sibling Class
A sibling class is an excellent opportunity for your child to learn what it means to have a new baby. It is also a great way for you to spend time together before the baby comes.
4. Let Your Child Choose a Gift for the Baby
Older siblings usually just want to help out. Gifting the new baby a toy or special outfit “from the older sibling” is a great way to help her feel involved and valued as you prepare for a new baby.
Related: Gift Ideas From an Older Sibling to the New Baby
5. Plan the First Meeting (Without Pressure)
You may envision how you want this first meeting between siblings to go. Understandably, you are excited, but you need to avoid putting too much pressure on it.
The trend seems to be bringing the older child to visit while you’re still in the hospital. If you are comfortable with that and your hospital allows that, go for it. My daughter was staying with my parents, who were a good 45 minutes away from the hospital, so it just didn’t make sense. We also missed her so much that we had my parents drive her back at 7 p.m. when we got home from the hospital. She was tired, but we weren’t going to let that stop us from allowing her to see her new brother. She held him that night but got another opportunity to really be introduced after a good night’s sleep.
6. Give the Older Sibling a Gift “From the Baby”
It’s important to ensure the older sibling doesn’t feel left out when the new baby comes. Explaining that a baby is coming into the family is always a good first step, but gifting the older child something “from the baby” is also a great way to secure that initial bond between siblings. Some great ideas include a baby doll or a personalized piece of jewelry.
Related: Best Gifts for Siblings From the New Baby
7. Greet Your Older Child First
Introducing the siblings in neutral territory is a good strategy. If your child comes to the hospital to visit, have the new baby in the bassinet. Make sure to greet your older child and give her plenty of love before introducing the baby. Your child missed you terribly and needs all the hugs when you see her again. Having the baby in a neutral location instead of in your arms will help you give your older one the best greeting and allow her to see the new baby as less of a threat.
8. Let Your Older Child Help
Your older child will be eager to help with the new baby. It might be challenging, but you need to let her. This will help her feel more included. If she is jealous and feels left out, she may begin to act out more. It is your job to help her transition. She will be feeling some pretty big feelings, so make sure to enlist her help in getting diapers, grabbing the pacifier, or picking out the baby’s clothes.
9. Spend One-on-One Time With Your Oldest
A new baby is time-consuming, but you must ensure your older one feels loved. Spend time with your oldest to remind her that she is still your baby and still has your love. If she begins to act out, she is missing you and dealing with some hard feelings of jealousy. By making sure to take the time to make her feel special, everyone will benefit, and the transition will be a little bit easier.
Having a new baby is exciting for everyone in the family, but it can also bring big feelings for your firstborn. By taking time to prepare and involve your older child, you can help them feel secure, loved, and proud of their new role as big brother or sister.
