Deciding whether or not to tell your family and friends the exciting news about your pregnancy during your first trimester is a personal choice. Some people are all for it, and others feel more comfortable waiting until further along. I decided to wait until 12 weeks to share our pregnancy news and learned a few things about not being found out. 😉 If you have decided to hide your pregnancy and keep it a secret until you hit your second trimester, here are some tips on how to be successful!
Getting Around Alcohol
1. Get there early.
I had a few brunches planned with friends and needed to be sneaky. They are the friends that would know something was up if I didn’t order a mimosa or bloody mary. That’s why I made sure to show up to each gathering extra early so that I could be the first one there. I told the waiter that I was pregnant and still not sharing the news with others, and if they could help me keep it a secret by making me virgin drinks that looked like the ones they would be giving my friends, we are good! It worked like a charm!!
2. Order your own drinks.
If you are going to an event with a bar, order your own drinks by yourself. Ask for water or soda and add a lemon or lime to it. Viola! It will look like you have a cocktail. You could also ask for a virgin cocktail if you want a faux margarita or pina colada. Just don’t forget to slowly sip your drink, as you would with an alcoholic beverage. And if you really want to be convincing, act a little tipsy.
3. Say you are on a cleanse and detoxing for health reasons.
This is a believable white lie if you are healthy and go on cleanses often. So, my friends would never buy this from me. But if this is something normal for you, it is a great way to hide your pregnancy! I mean, you are detoxing for health reasons. 😉
4. Say that you are hungover.
This one worked for me at one gathering. Your friends or family may say an extra drink will help (some “hair of the dog”), but they won’t question you if you refuse.
5. Take the drink but don’t drink it.
If you have friends that won’t take no for an answer (like when you’re at a bachelorette party or New Year’s Eve party), accept the drink and pretend to take some sips but don’t really drink it. People won’t be paying that much attention to you drinking your beverage. Then give the drink to your spouse or go to the restroom and throw it down the drain. No one will ever know!
6. Say you’re the designated driver.
Maybe you don’t want to spend money on an Uber ride or taxi. What?? That’s being responsible!
7. Say you have to work later that day or early the following day.
People will understand if you don’t want to go to work drunk or hungover.
8. Have a confidant.
It’s nice to have a friend you can tell so that they may also help you keep your pregnancy a secret. They can help shield drinks from you and back up your story.
Clothes Getting Tighter
Every woman’s body is different. Some women don’t see or notice significant body changes until they are well into their second trimester. As for me, my pants were getting a tad bit tighter around ten weeks. I could still zip them up, but some of my pants wouldn’t button. Things can begin to get a bit snug, and that’s okay. Here’s how you can mask it.
1. Wear loose-fitted clothes.
This doesn’t mean you have to wear a tent or oversized clothing. All I mean is that I wouldn’t choose tight or form-fitting options if you already see some noticeable changes. Instead, wear flowy tops and dresses and loose skirts to remain comfortable and cute.
2. Layer well.
A jacket, sweater, cute kimono, oversized scarf, or oversized bag can all mask the makings of a baby bump and help you keep your pregnancy a secret.
3. Wear black.
It is one of my favorite “colors” to wear. It makes everyone look a little leaner and hides baby bumps very well!
Don’t Tell Your Children.
Of course, you want to tell your other children they will have a baby brother or sister. How exciting!! They will have a best friend forever. However, if your children are old enough to talk but too young to understand the concept of a secret, I would refrain from sharing their new big brother/big sister status with them. They may spill the beans nonchalantly, without meaning to.
This is when you might be experiencing morning sickness and major fatigue. It’s okay to say no to invites. You aren’t feeling well, and that’s not a lie. Or, if you know you have an event coming up where it will be challenging to stay off the radar, don’t go. Unless it’s your family member’s wedding, I’m sure it will be fine. You need to take care of yourself and your little bun in the oven, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that.
You don’t have to stay quiet…
Even though I chose to wait until 12 weeks to announce my pregnancy, don’t feel like you have to. Some women feel afraid to share their news since the risk of miscarriage is much higher during the first trimester than in any other trimester. Still, some people think that hiding the beginning of a pregnancy can be a disservice to women. They feel that hiding a lost pregnancy signals to women that miscarriage is something to be embarrassed about and not to talk about—which we couldn’t feel more opposite. Unfortunately, this cultural norm is why many women don’t talk about miscarriages and share their stories.
Whether or not you decide to keep your pregnancy a secret during your first trimester is your choice, and you know what is best for you. ❤️